♫
The college felt very empty. Too empty. It was just me and some of the canteen aunties and uncles in this very empty space. I looked at my watch. It was 6.57a.m. I continued to sip on the ice Milo that I just bought from the drinks stall and decided to soak in the cool, dawn breeze.
I guess Sam hadn't arrived yet. I took out my iPhone and fooled around in my family's WhatsApp chat. I could hear the chatter of some incoming students decked in their secondary school uniforms too. I was kind of dreading today. Uniform sales would start soon.
A rather odd sight caught my eye as I returned to the cutlery disposal area though. A petite girl with long, golden curls secured by two pigtails walked past me. She stared at the grey walls of the canteen with wistful green eyes. Was she lost? She clutched a red A3 sized portfolio close to her chest.
"He…Hello. Are you lost?" I asked after I returned my cup.
"I'm looking for the general office. I have to go for an appeal interview," she said with a thick French accent.
My eyes widened when I saw golden glitter on the collar of her sailor uniform. I offered to show her the way and she accepted. As we walked through the still dimly lit school, I had this feeling that her eyes had always been on me.
"So, you're here to change schools? No wonder why I haven't seen you around. I mean, anyone can notice you from a mile away from your hair!" I said with a small laugh.
As we walked past the performing arts block, our reflections walked alongside us. I faced the mirrored wall and froze in my tracks. What was this feeling? Our reflections stared back at us. Our eyes…almost had the same quality despite the different colours.
Perhaps it was the sulky darkness of the morning that made the French girl that way, but never once did she smile or utter a single word. At that time, her mouth began to move, as though she wanted to say something. My eyes widened when I saw this. I jerked to face her.
"Minori Amami, have you ever questioned your identity before?" she asked.
If my eyes could go any bigger, they would have. How did…she know my name? Her eyes were still on the mirrors though. I had no idea who had more questions now. Was it me or her?
"I…Why should I? I mean, no. How…How did you know my name?" I asked.
"I don't know either. That's why I'm wondering if…you've ever questioned your identity before. Have you ever wondered if you're more than just human?" she asked back.
Well, I was near hairless save for that shaggy mop atop my head. I walked upright and was pretty sure that I did not have elf ears or the like. Why would she ask such a weird question? Reality had hit me. I looked down at the first floor and saw Sam screaming for me to come down.
"Minori, you lost or something? We're down here!" he screamed from the amphitheatre near the school hall.
"Hold on! Let me take her to the GO first!" I screamed back.
I turned to face the French girl again. Her emerald eyes bored through my soul, as though it wanted to latch itself to…no. Somehow, my hands found themselves on my throat. What was this weird feeling?
"It's okay, Minori. I'll make my way down to the GO first," said the French girl.
She walked away, sling bag bouncing off her curvy hips and her arms still clutching her portfolio. I stood there, feet cemented to the ground. I could have sworn for a moment that I had…read her thoughts. Maybe I was just really sleepy. Why did this morning have to be so weird?
❧
The teacher scribbled my name, adding it to the bottommost name on the attendance sheet. She gestured towards those two neat rows seated beside a banner with Artemis' crest. I clenched my fists and nodded my head.
It was just as I expected, with all eyes on me as I sat down beside one of my new OG mates. It was a repeat of my first day of school – local school, that is. Muffled whispers seemed louder than that K-Pop song that was blasting through the speakers.
All those sounds were trying to override those memories of that fleeting encounter. Yet, I could have sworn that my Pectus Magi…had touched – No. It cannot be. He seemed so ordinary. Still, there was something…something about him that made him very much unlike the others.
"Who is she?" asked someone.
Minori was right. With my golden curls, it was hard blending in. And it had always been that way since leaving Brest. I straightened out my skirt, very well aware of the many pairs of eyes that were on me. Papa's words from a few years ago haunted me.
"You're complaining about stress and people looking at you? You're the one who asked me to let you enrol in a local school!"
Oh, Papa. If only you knew why I wanted to enrol. If only you could know what it was like to always feel as though you were floating and never rooted.
I took out my diary and looked at my entries for the year so far. The photograph of my grandparents, Dani, and I in front of our family cottage was stuck on the most recent page. I had abandoned it for far too long, I guessed.
I placed it back into my bag, but when I took my fingers out, they were coated with a layer of lilac stardust – remnants of the previous day's battle with the Umbra.
Nobody should know. This noise had its purpose. It was a shield – one that would conceal my thoughts from the others.
The way the stardust glimmered against the hall's lights made me remember that petite girl who killed that Umbra before I could. She had those fierce brown eyes that the people back in Shanghai would call 'Phoenix eyes'. I decided that I would nickname her 'Belle' from then on.
Yet, those memories flooded me again. I shook my head at that reminder of why I was living this double life again.
I rather remember that brief moment of kindness a few hours ago; so fleeting, yet powerful enough to almost make me forget about the nightmare that would await me after the day ended.
"You better run, run, run, run, run," the girl group sang over the speakers.
But where could I run to anymore? I had thrown myself into this uncontrollable spiral. I only had myself to blame.
✉
My hands clutched that phone tight. Was it started to turn blue from all that choking already? I did not know. I could not wipe that grin off my face. Welcome to the club.
Theatre Studies, here I come! All that was left was to wait for the results of those KI and ELL placement tests. Ah…ELL, the only reason why I was not in VJC.
My handphone vibrated again. It was a message from Baba. Better make my way towards the foyer then. The distant melody of a Final Fantasy tune being played by a piano guided me towards the still unfamiliar campus grounds.
A boy with a blue beanie had his fingers tickling the ivory keys, playing with a certain deftness. His eyes were shut. It was as though he knew where all the keys were. Better not disturb his playing, I guessed.
"He's really good, isn't he?" asked a little voice from behind me.
I turned around and saw a small-framed girl clad in the Cedar uniform. Her blonde curls were braided into two pigtails. Her green eyes were transfixed on the beanie boy's hands.
I could only nod my head in response to that comment. I took a seat on the swing and let my thoughts and that good news sink in with the boy's expert playing. For once, I could look forward to a Monday. Monday.
How could I have forgotten to book a date with Nori? Our private WhatsApp chat was buried beneath the newly-made TSD groups and orientation chats.
"Waiting for someone?" asked the blonde girl with her thick French accent.
I nodded my head. I typed in my message to Nori and hit the 'send' button. This time, I made sure to attach a selfie to it. And just like that…seeing myself in that white uniform with the red and gold badge, my face fell.
"Is something wrong?" she asked again.
"Yeah. I can't believe that I'm going to shed this uniform and start wearing that ugly grey one soon," I admitted.
Her thin lips parted, she tried to make sense of what I just said and what it meant to me. And I found myself laughing. Did I just spill those feelings to a total stranger altogether?
"I agree. The grey uniform is dull. At least their PE shirts are vibrant," she said.
And the boy stopped playing the piano as that familiar, chirpy voice that I had grown accustomed to overpowered the keys. Minori ran into the scene, his eyes gleaming with excitement. I rose to my feet and waved at him.
"Alb! Why didn't you tell me yesterday that you were here at SJC?" he cried out as he drew me into a huge hug.
His dark brown eyes were alit with joy. I hugged him back, totally forgetting about the girl beside me.
"Uhm. I'm more surprised at you! I thought you were going to VJ!" I said.
"Aiyah. My dad was probably scared that his ex-teachers would talk shit about him to me," he said with a shrug.
Just like that, my face fell. Man, was Masahiro that desperate to save his own ass to the point that he got his son to apply to another JC altogether? I shook my head at that thought.
"Oh! Hi, Éclair!" said Nori as he waved at the blonde girl.
My eyes were wide open. How…how did they meet? At least I finally got to know her name.
"Your name's Éclair? I'm Albert," I said as I extended my hand towards her.
"Pleased to meet you," she said.
She had an earnest smile. Somehow though, my senses started tingling. It was as though the air had turned still. And it was not because of any innate hostility.
My face turned crimson when that Cantonese love ballad rang through the foyer. Baba was here.
"Hey, Nori, want a lift back to Siglap?" I asked.
He adjusted the shoulder strap on his sling bag and waved goodbye at Éclair.
"Sure thing! Bye, Éclair! Good luck for the CCA auditions next week!" said Nori.
"Thanks. Bye! See you guys!" said Éclair back.
I waved back at her as I opened the door and ushered Nori in. Baba and Nori exchanged hi-fives. She gave the two of us a warm smile and her figure shrunk the further away we got from the foyer.
"Who's that nice girl just now?" asked Baba.
"A new friend we've made," said Nori with a smile.
He was right. She is a new friend. She just opened up to me like that. Maybe this was the chance. Nori nudged me by the sides, a deviant smile plastered on his face.
"Aiyah. Give it some time before I move on from Nicola, lah," I teased.