I was walking down the sidewalk, pulling the jacket closer to my body. I was just trying to keep my warmth, it was autumn and it wasn't that hot outside anymore, so I couldn't go home on a better night. I really regretted leaving my house, my parents they probably already knew that I wasn't home. I couldn't believe that I let my parents down like that.
I could feel cold, small drops of water hit my pure skin. It slowly rolled down my forehead, then down my nose to then drip down on the cement ground. And I knew by now, that I was going to walk home in the rain.
I felt like crying because this day couldn't get any better. If I even talked loud now, I bet someone would understand the sarcasm behind my voice. I tried to pull the sleeves more down, but it suddenly hangs itself onto my skin. Making me groan in pain. I wasn't that happy for being the person I was, always silent, never saying anything, but today I kind of turned the tables and shot back at anyone that wasn't nice to me. I kind of felt good about it, but at the same time, I was too afraid that I might have hurt someone's feelings.
I sighed and tried to make the sleeves of the jacket more comfortable as I walked alone under the lampposts. I don't know if I would feel any better soon, perhaps the scars on my skin would forever be opened? Or perhaps someone could help me let them stay hidden? I just wish I could find the option two. Cause I was tired of living this life. It was so lonely, my brother died when I was younger. It was not that too long ago, so it still bothered me. My parents never seemed to care about me, but perhaps they were just too busy working than taking care of their own daughter. Maybe that's also why they gave me my cat Hugo.
I felt stupid for some kind of reason. I knew I wasn't the only one in the world, struggling with myself. I know there were people out there, probably struggling more than I do. But in the end, the things that have pained you too much, grow into a tree. And someday that tree has to fall over, and I know I eventually have to fall over as well. And I know that time is soon coming. I'm always uneasy, always sad for some particular reason. I hardly smile, and I try my best to not communicate with anybody. But that went to hell and more down today.
I felt like a piece in a game. It was like some people sat playing me, controlled me and everybody around me, how I was going to live, how I was going to act, how to be and who to love and sadly I was just an easy piece in a game.
I looked down at my shoes as I walked. I wondered how my parents would feel about me being gone? Would they cry maybe? Would they try to find me? Would they ask people to help them find me? Sometimes I just wish they would care, just a little. It didn't matter the cost of it.
I opened my handbag and grabbed my phone and looked at my screen, but I didn't have any calls or messages. I sighed, trying to think this was normal. I know it wasn't though, most parents would know you were gone after a couple of hours. I sighed and laid my phone back in my bag.
They changed even more after my brother died. He was always there for me. Every day I go to the graveyard to sit and look at my brother's stone, I think I only sit there for an hour or so, but it feels like forever. I wanted us to be a happy family, I wanted my brother to be there when I went through breakups, and when I got married, I wanted his shoulder to cry on when everything in my life would turn down. I wanted him to be there when I was happy. But the only thing I could do, for now, was to talk to him through a stone.
I shook my head at the thought and tilted my head back when I felt more raindrops come down. I started to run down the sidewalk and buried my face into the jacket. The rain was so cold in this autumn weather, but I loved the rain. It made me feel less depressed, and more natural. I was so tired of sitting alone in my bed all day and waking up the next morning to be thrown new insults in the hallways every day.
I stopped under a small roof and sighed when I already was drenched inside out. To say the least, my clothes were soaked.
I looked up a little to see a family eating dinner, the candles were lit and it looked cosy there with the fireplace burning. They were laughing at something the little boy said, and they looked so happy. But what did I know? Maybe they weren't?
It looked like it was no problems there, but who knows. Maybe they hide their problems behind a mask, maybe they have problems with their bills to pay, or maybe the mother was raped on her way here, while the father is seeing someone else behind her back. What if the teenage girl is struggling with eating disorders and the little boy is getting bullied at school. But everyone is pretending cause they want to be the perfect family, with no problems at all.
I sat down on the small porch. It was the only dry spot I could find nearby. The rain only got heavier, and I knew I couldn't stand there and hang all day. So I took a deep breath and walked into the rain. It fell all over me, and around me. The sound was so relaxing, but the feeling was cold and dark. I kept walking until a car slowed down next to me. I stopped dead in my tracks, trying not to feel frightened or anything. The window opened and a guy I recognised too well sat there, looking at me with an amused look on his face.
"You left." He yelled, probably so I could hear him over the loud noises of the rain. I opened my mouth to speak, but it was too cold. My lips were shaking, and my arms wouldn't move from their position around me. "You're going to freeze to death, c'mon get in the damn car." He yelled at me. I blinked at him and shook my head. I wouldn't get in his car, I didn't even know him. I know any girl who would be in my position right now, would gladly jump in his car. But I didn't like him, he was mean and something wasn't right about him.
I took a deep breath and started to walk again. I tried my best to ignore him, but suddenly his car wasn't driving next to me anymore. I stopped and frowned, where did he go? I turned around to see a silhouette with an umbrella run up to me. He hovered over me, the umbrella blocking the rain. I looked up at his face, he just stared at me like I was some dumb chick.
"W-What?" I said with a trembling voice. I sounded so weak, it was almost embarrassing. His face softened suddenly, and a small smile appeared on his lips.
"You shouldn't walk any further, you're going to catch a fever. And you're freezing, just please let me take you home." He said, he even seemed desperate. I huffed and turned away from him, ready to go. He grabbed my wrist and turned me back to him. "I know I was a dick, okay, but I really don't enjoy watching you right now. The heat is on in my car, you'll be warm. Just please, Caitlyn.» He said and stepped closer to me.
I sighed and looked down at our feet. His boots were too big for his feet, and mine was so tiny. He looked like a monster compared to me, but still, he asked me twice about driving me home. I shivered a little more and looked up into his eyes, they were so green. They were pretty, and I knew it.
"W-What changed your mind? And h-how do you know my name?" I questioned and without knowing it stepping a little closer to him. He seemed warm for some reason. I know I was crazy thinking this, but I was freezing to death here. It was almost painful, I slowly stepped even closer until my body leaned against his torso. My face in his white t-shirt, and my hands clenched in his fabric.
He was silent for a while, he didn't say much. He just stood there, letting me warm myself. It didn't help much, but I felt his warmth though. And it was enough. "Sander told me." He said as he answered one of my questions. His voice rumbling in his body, it was really dark and low. Kind of relaxing. "You're ice cold, c'mon." He murmured and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and followed me to his car. I didn't say anything now, he won over me. I know I would've probably died before getting home, I was just so tiny and thin. Even if I had curves, I was still skinny. He closed the door and got in his own seat. Throwing the umbrella down on the floor by my feet. He turned the heat more on, and I shakily grabbed the seatbelt and buckled myself up.
"Tell me where you live." He said, almost commanding me. My head slowly fell down on the window, and I just stared blankly out in the rain. I bit my lip to make it stop shaking, but it didn't help that much.
"I live in Rye, England," I whispered and looked over at him slowly. He rolled his eyes, smiling weakly.
"Obviously." He said, and I sighed at his comment. I knew he would be an asshole. He drove the way, all the way. Over bumpy roads, and small bridges on the way. Even though the small streets, I turned hotter with each minute. And I know I should thank him.
"T-Thank you." I murmured and looked at him. He kept driving and didn't say anything. He kept quiet, but he looked over at me. His eyes looking at my face, scanning me. It felt like. He seemed to soften more, his hair fell in front of his face. Showing me he needed to cut his hair soon, but he suited it. He did.
"Now where?" He asked me. I turned my eyes back at the road and pointed the ways to my street and my house. He stopped the car right outside of my porch. He then looked over at me again, his eyes furrowing. "You ok?" He asked me. I actually smiled this time, he maybe was an asshole. But yet he was a caring one it seemed.
"Yes, thank you. Harmon wasn't it?" I questioned him. He hummed and kept looking at me.
"Harmon, Harmon Simons." He said and nodded his head. I nodded my head back and grabbed the door handle and opened the door. "Wait!" He said fast and grabbed my upper arm. I tilted my head curiously to the side, some hair falling over my face. "Can you just check if you see an envelope under your seat before you go. I was supposed to give it to Caroline because it was her birthday." He told me politely. I raised an eyebrow and leaned my head down to check, my hand was on the door and the other on the seat. Suddenly he grabbed my neck and hit my head hard against the dashboard. I felt myself getting dizzy before I blacked out.
***
"I didn't hit your head that hard." A voice said irritated. I tried to open my eyes, and I did after some struggling because of the throbbing in my head. I saw the guy with curly hair, I think his name was Harmon. It was another guy here as well, I was seated in another car and it suddenly hit me, all of it. The party, me walking into him, us arguing, me leaving, almost freezing to death, and him driving me home.
"Where am I?" I whispered low. My voice cracking. I looked at the curly haired lad, and he leaned down to look at my forehead. "Oops." He laughed and ran his thumb over my forehead, and when he pulled his hand back it was blood on it. I winched and cried out in pain at him touching the wound.
The car ride to my house came to my mind as well, he seemed so nice. But then. "YOU FUCKING HIT MY HEAD AGAINST THE DASHBOARD, YOU FUCKING PRICK," I shouted angrily at him. Ignoring the throbbing pain in my head and my voice cracking even more.
He just rolled his eyes and sighed. "Here we go again." He sang low and looked at the driver. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around me. I was in the same car, but my head was on his lap. Shit? Wait? On his lap? I sat up quickly and scooted far away from him.
I grabbed the door handle and tried to get out. "You took me home, get me back home!" I yelled frightened in the car. I closed my eyes shut at the pain in my head, it was so painful I just wanted to lay back down. But he sat there, so I kept myself seated by the window. Fuck he hit it hard.
He sighed and grabbed my neck. He pulled me to him, by moving his hand up to my hair. I groaned in pain and looked into his eyes, still the same green, but now they were frightening. "I don't like people calling me a prick or people that scream at me." He said calmly. I widened my eyes and kicked the window hard, but like the small girl I was, I didn't even make a scratch. "Enough trying, kit kat." He said. He stretched his other large hand towards me, and his eyes softened a little. I glared at him when he was going to touch me, and he stopped when I scooted away.
"Look at me." He said harsh. I didn't look at him but kept trying to open the door with my foot. ''I won't hurt you if you cooperate with me.'' He said and nodded to me. He parted his pink lips and licked them. He seemed so soft now, but I couldn't forget that he actually hit my head against the dashboard.
''I can't, y-you made that clear when you hit my head against the dashboard,'' I whispered and pulled my feet down on the floor and back up against my chest, he probably saw my panties, but I had a lot more to worry about now. I think it wouldn't go in my mind, that I was in a car against my will, with a young man I didn't know.
Wasn't this called kidnapping?
I widened my eyes at the realisation. He kidnapped me, oh my fucking god. I started to panic, even more, I looked out and all I saw was road after road after road. No houses, nor farms. "Drive me home, please," I begged low, my body shaking because of my sobbing.
Suddenly he grabbed my hair harsher and tilted my head back. I looked directly into his eyes and I bit my lip hard to keep myself from crying out like a little girl. He pursed his lips and shook his head while looking at me. ''Corporate kit kat. It's not that difficult.'' He said frustrated. I looked up at him with tearful eyes and tried to ignore the pain in my head. "If not I'm going to hurt you more." He threatened. I cried more and shook my head. I didn't want this, I never wanted this. I wanted to take back everything, I wanted to take back talking to him, talking back at him, and even sitting down in his car. I cried, even more, when he grabbed my hair harder, I swear if he pulled any harder it would all fall off. He sighed irritated and clapped his hand over my mouth. He pulled me back down on his lap. "Stop struggling, kit kat. The doors are locked, you can't crush the window." He said calmly. However, he seemed quite done with me by now. "Corporate with me, please." He said and sighed. He still had his hand over my mouth. My heart was beating like crazy, while my tears were falling down my face. I was afraid, and who wouldn't be afraid if someone kidnapped you? "I know that you know the answer." He whispered low. I looked at him confused, but he didn't say any more. I tried to talk low, and he seemed to hear it, so he slowly moved his hand off my mouth.
"Why are you keeping me?" I whispered, trying not to say kidnapping, cause it sounded bad.
"You mean kidnapping, it's not a mean word. It's a word." He said and looked at my face, it was like he read my thoughts. He then shrugged and looked in front of him. "I'm kidnapping you, cause you're staying with me. That's all, no more questions, ok? I hate questions. Is that understood?" He said harshly. I didn't answer, and he leaned down more to my face. Too close for my liking. "I said... Am I clear?" He said through clenched teeth.
He did this because he wanted me to stay with him? He had to have another reason. This was just stupid. I looked away from him. Building up the courage. "Says the one who is asking more questions-" He suddenly slapped my cheek, and I cried out in pain and cursed under my breath.
"Do not sass me, Caitlyn!" He snapped angrily at me. I clenched my eyes shut and nodded my head, god this guy really hates that, hates me. I grabbed my cheek and turned my face into the seats, away from his face. I curled up like a little ball and held my cheek too. I hugged Sander's jacket around me and could feel tears falling, it was so many I couldn't even count them. I then felt my phone in my pocket buzz and I stiffened. My phone was still on, I couldn't tell him. He couldn't know.
"Get sleep, kitty kat. It won't be much of that later." I heard someone whisper in my ear, then I felt a jacket under my head. It smelled like cologne and a little mint, it was his. "We're partners now." He said. And I furrowed my eyebrows without him noticing. "If you disagree. I have a basement you can be tortured in, that's fine too." He said with a little chuckle. I felt shivers down my spine, and I shivered where I laid in his leather seats. I think he knows I am still awake. But still, I pretended I slept. "Well, I take your answer as you want to be my partner." He said with a snicker. "You'll be soon home, babe. With me." He added.
I slowly closed my eyes more, drifting to sleep. But I couldn't stop feeling uneasy when he ran his hand through my hair gently.