She would call it planning, but I have always know when mom was stressed or freaking out because she would plan things. My dad, on the other hand, wasn't talking to me at all. He called me a whore who couldn't keep her legs closed.
That was the last time I talked to my dad. He would leave before I woke up, no matter what time and I could always hear him arriving home at about 1 a.m. My sister was doing well with it all.
She was amazing. She had been in the process of selling her old car because she had bought a new one, instead of selling it she gave it to me. She said that I was going to need it. She and mom had come with me to my first ultrasound the other day and since then they had both been amazingly supportive… even mom.
She said that she is looking forward to becoming a nana, even if it was a little earlier than she thought. As for my friends… well, I was three and a half months now, most of them had noticed something was different. I hardly went to parties anymore and the few I had gone to I had not had any alcohol to drink. I noticed people looking at me differently but I held my head high and ignored them.
I guess you are wondering about Olivia and John huh? Well, Olivia is still the best girlfriend I have. She helps me out all the time and comes with me when I need her. She even stands up for me against the dirty looks and soon enough the rumors about my pregnancy.
As for John, nothing had happened. This disappointed me a lot. I knew it was all I should have expected but it still hurt. I knew that there was no real reason why he would want to be involved with a seventeen-year-old mother to be. When I woke up this morning I felt restless. I tried to do something to occupy me but nothing worked. I decided to go to the shops and pick up some stuff for the baby.
My mom and sister had both decided to help pitch in for money until I had finished high school and got a good job, which made me feel happy. I walked into the section of Target where the baby when I saw John. He looked up from the salesperson that he was talking to and excused himself and walked over towards me.
"Hey Amelia," he said once he had reached me. I smiled at him, trying to remember the last time I had talked to him without a hundred people around. "Hey, John," I said copying his tone of voice, "What are you doing here?"
He looked around sheepishly then back at me with a guilty face. "Getting a going away gift" he replied quietly. "Oh, who is leaving? Anybody, I know?" "Me".
"Funny, but you don‟t get presents for yourself if you are going, so who is?" I asked He looked back at the baby cribs as he spoke, "Nah, I am leaving. The present is for you". He looked back at me and I saw the truth in his eyes. John was leaving. I stared at him for a full minute before I said anything.
"Why? When?" I asked. He sighed leaning against the shelf full of baby nappies. It was a very odd image. "I had only come home for a while. I thought that I might stay for a while but I got accepted to this really good university and it is a really good offer, I even get a full scholarship for football", he replied to look at me.
"Wow, I never knew that you even played football". I said nervously, "that does‟t explain why you are buying me a present though". I was trying not to think about the fact that he was leaving. Even more so, I tried not to think about why I was so upset that John was leaving. "Yeah, I love football and this scholarship means that I might be able to go somewhere with it"
he smiled, "Yeah, that would put a smile on my parents face" I looked at him confused. When he noticed my confusion he laughed a bit harder. "mom and Dad hate, and I mean hate the fact that I play ball" he explained. I tried to smile back when I understood by failed. Of course, John noticed and turned serious at one.
"Hey," he said softly, "Don‟t worry. You are going to be fine. Olivia is going to help you and I will call now and then." I realized that for some stupid reason that I had been depending on him. It so was f**king stupid.
I hardly even talked to him and it isn't his problem. I am the f**king idiot who got knocked up by a guy that she didn't even remember. I put on a fake smile that he seemed to by.
"Hey, of course, I will be ok! I will be so okay that I will… well, I don‟t know what I will be but I bet you that I will be ok with it". He was laughing by the end and looking at me like I was an idiot. It was ok I guessed because I had the biggest feeling that that was exactly what I sounded like.
I spent the rest of the day with John, trying not to let him buy me anything. No matter how hard I tried it didn't work. He sneakily bought me the most amazing crib. It was about two meters long and a meter and a half across.
It was made of mahogany wood that was so new looking that it shined. He also managed to buy a mattress and quilt set to match. It had baby lambs and other farm animals covering it.