Chereads / The Death God’s Daily Troubles / Chapter 11 - [Chapter 11] Welcome to Ancient Alchemy 101

Chapter 11 - [Chapter 11] Welcome to Ancient Alchemy 101

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Royal Academy, Headmistress' Office (Kyle POV)

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I opened the door and entered the office as the sound of pages being flipped echoed throughout the room. Sitting behind her desk, Mari marked the last of the renovation documents with the Royal Academy's seal before tossing them to the side and calling out to me.

"Ky, did you finish double checking all the facilities?" (Mari)

"Yeah, I finished it about ten minutes ago. Anyway, since I was already down there, here, I got you your tea." (Kyle)

"Thanks." (Mari)

I placed the cup of chamomile tea in front of Mari and sat down in the chair across from her as she slumped her upper body over her desk and let out a sigh. The morning sunlight illuminated the office, and I slouched backward in the chair while staring out the window to see the slow trickle of students walking onto campus while the faint sound of birds chirping outside was drowned out by my sigh. Mari got up off her desk again and took a sip of her tea before complaining to me.

"Ugh… finally, we're done with everything. Seriously, it was way too much, even with you here to get through the brunt of it, we still barely finished in time." (Mari)

"It's your own damn fault for lazing around so much this last week! Do you know how much extra paperwork I had to sort through because you kept taking breaks every two hours!? We probably would've finished by yesterday if you just actually tried to do your work!" (Kyle)

"But why would I try when I have my handy dandy assistant right here to try for me?" (Mari)

Mari gave me a lazy smile and leaned back into her chair again before beckoning me to come over.

"Anyway, since we're finally finished, give me a massage. I think I slept funny last night, so my back is really stiff right now and I have to go give the opening speech in two hours too." (Mari)

"Your back is stiff every day! Are you sure your bed isn't a rock? What kind of office assistant gives their boss a daily back rub anyway?" (Kyle)

"Eeeh? Well, you're not quite an office assistant. You're more like my personal assistant, and as my personal assistant, it's your job to make sure I'm in tip-top condition for important events, like, for example, the opening ceremony in two hours." (Mari)

"You know what, I don't care anymore, just let me get it over with... After the ceremony, I still have to teach too. So please, at least give me a little break before class starts." (Kyle)

"Alright, alright. I'll give you a break after this, so come on." (Mari)

Mari stretched a little and leaned her upper body over onto the desk again as I got up and walked over to give her a massage before sighing. My hands moved over to her back and began to delicately apply pressure along her spine as Mari's gave out a blissful grin. I used my fingers to push against her soft skin under her clothes for a few moments before Mari inadvertently let out a satisfied moan.

"...I know I've already asked you this before, but can you not let out erotic moans whenever I give you a massage? Especially since there are other people in the building now. If anyone overhears this, I'm sure the city guard will be here in a few minutes to arrest a lolicon." (Kyle)

"Well, who told you to be so good at giving massages? You always use the perfect amount of strength and it feels heavenly when you press on just the right spot. The stiffness just melts away and I can't help but let out my voice." (Mari)

Argh! Why does everything I do have to eventually end up screwing me over someday!? Of course I use the perfect amount of strength every time! If I couldn't control my strength so precisely I would've ended up snapping your spine like a twig the moment I applied any pressure! Back when I first imbued myself with natural laws, I had to train intensely to perfectly control every part of my abnormal body, otherwise, I wouldn't even be able to walk. Every step I took would've crushed the ground under my feet and shot me forward hundreds of feet.

"What happened the first time I gave you a massage then? You didn't let out a sound then!" (Kyle)

Mari's face tinted a little pink before she muttered in a quiet voice.

"Well, the first time it was a little embarrassing... so I held my voice in as much as I could and tried to ignore all feeling in my body until eventually, I fell asleep." (Mari)

"If you thought it was embarrassing, why are you doing it so brazenly now then!?" (Kyle)

"You didn't say anything when I couldn't hold it in anymore the second time and let my voice slip out, so I thought you were ok with it." (Mari)

"You just moaned randomly out of nowhere, what was I supposed to say!? 'Hey, excuse me, could you not lewdly moan, I'm afraid I'll get registered as a lolicon in the sex offender database?' Yeah, that definitely wouldn't have made the atmosphere ten times more awkward than it already was." (Kyle)

"Well, it's already too late for regrets. I'm already used to letting my voice out, so you'll have to deal with it. Besides, everyone else should be making last-minute checks in their department, and I already told Professor Balrum to set up everything for you beforehand since you were here helping me. There's no one around, so don't worry. Anyway, I'm sure that my reputation would be impacted a lot more than yours." (Mari)

Mari had a blush on her face as she pouted cutely before telling me where to push a little harder.

"Mmm, right there, Ky... A little harder." (Mari)

I gave out a defeated sigh before continuing to massage Mari with tears in my eyes as she let out indecent sounding moans over and over again.

Dear god, please don't let there be anyone around! I think more than just my reputation is at stake here!

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Royal Academy, Outside the Headmistress' Office (Oliver POV)

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Hmm, will the headmistress approve the budget request? I tried to minimize our spending as much as possible, but with how much we've already used for the hiring campaign this year, I'm afraid she won't be able to... Well, I guess I'll at least try to ask her.

I walked down the hallway towards the headmistress' office with a few documents in hand.

Just ten minutes ago, everyone in the alchemy department office was nagging me to go get more funding from the headmistress so they could get better materials to use, and all I could hear everywhere was 'Professor Balrum this, and Professor Balrum that' until I couldn't take it anymore, so I just gave in and drafted up a quick request for a budget increase. I hate to bother the headmistress just before she has to go give the opening speech, but honestly, it's true that the materials we have this year are a little subpar compared to previous years.

I was about to reach the door to the headmistress' office and knock on it when suddenly, I heard faint, muffled voices from inside.

"Mmm, right there, Ky... A little harder." (Mari)

I recognized the headmistress' voice coming from inside the office saying a suggestive line, and immediately afterward, I started hearing erotic moans. My face immediately blushed beet red, and I froze in my tracks right outside the office doors. After a moment, I decided it was best not to interrupt as I turned around and started to silently sneak back towards the alchemy department office while trying to clear my mind of all dirty thoughts.

Well, looks like this is… a bad time to ask… But, who would've thought that the headmistress liked them so young? Or that Professor Kyle had such… special tastes…

Well, I shouldn't judge them too much, I guess I can understand a little bit. I've heard that the normal lifespan for elves is around 300, and the headmistress just passed 100 a few years ago. While elves might physically reach adulthood at around the same time as humans, their period as young adults is much longer, around 150 or so years, with 100 years old being around the time that most elves should be married. The headmistress would be around her mid-twenties if we translated her age to human terms, so it's only natural that she would be looking to find a partner soon.

And after all, she's been alone with Professor Kyle in a small office for hours on end every day this past week. With a handsome young man treating her like she was his queen all day, eventually, there was bound to be some feelings budding between them. And I guess a younger man would probably be with the headmistress a little longer if we take lifespans into account.

Ahem.

Anyway, they have my blessings for the future should they ever need them. So for now, if anyone asks, my request was rejected by the headmistress due to budget constraints, and I returned immediately afterward without hearing or seeing anything.

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Royal Academy, Headmistress' Office (Mari POV)

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A few minutes have passed since Ky started giving me a massage, and the last tingles of pleasure slowly faded as his hands finally stopped. I let out a satisfied breath and lifted my upper body off my desk with a blissful smile as my originally stiff back now had a slightly springy feeling to it.

"Huaaa, I feel alive again." (Mari)

"Yeah, I do too now that you've stopped moaning! I thought I heard faint footsteps outside before and my heart stopped for a moment!" (Kyle)

"What are you talking about? I didn't hear anything." (Mari)

Ky let out a relieved breath as he moved his hand away from his chest and slouched over.

"Whew, I guess I was really just hallucinating then... Anyway, can I go now? I have a class to prepare for, and even if there are only five students, it's still a class." (Kyle)

"Honestly, I'm surprised you even got five students to sign up with how late we opened up registration for your class. Alright, you can go for now. You've still got more or less an hour and a half before the opening ceremony starts." (Mari)

"Wait, really?" (Kyle)

"Yeah." (Mari)

Ky immediately shot back into an upright posture as all of his energy returned and he started to celebrate.

"Finally, I'm free at last! Sweet, sweet freedom! Ahahahahaha!" (Kyle)

He opened the office doors and his maniacal laughter echoed through the hallway as he threw his arms up in the air and stepped out of the room.

"See you later, you abusive witch!" (Kyle)

Ky gave me a smug smile as he saluted me before turning back around, and I don't know why, but I felt my blood pressure rising once I saw how happy he was to leave my side while a strong urge to wipe that smile off his face rose up inside me. I unconsciously reached out for the closest thing to my hand, my cup of tea, and enchanted it temporarily with wind magic before chucking it at him.

"Ah!" (Mari)

Oh no! I forgot he was manaless!

The teacup was covered in a layer of green mana and it shot towards him like an arrow before nailing him in the back. Ky fell over face first onto the floor and the tea spilled all over him as I immediately ran to his side with a worried expression on my face.

I kneeled down next to Ky and flipped his body over in a panic before taking a quick look at his complexion. My hand slid across his face, pushing his hair out of the way as I moved closer to get a better look at his slightly pale face. I could feel the warmth from Ky's smooth skin through my hand, and my face tinted a bit pink once I realized how close I was to his face.

Leaning back, I held my hand to my chest and waited a moment for my rapid heartbeat to calm down once I saw that Ky seemed to just be knocked out. I let out a sigh of relief before calling out his name and shaking him slightly to try and wake him up. After a few moments of shaking, he was still out cold, and I gently placed him on the ground before running back into my office to grab my first aid kit. However, as I started to rummage through my cabinets, I heard a faint noise from outside my office.

My head snapped around to see Ky laying there with his eyes closed and slowly trying to creep away by pushing himself along the floor using his arm. After I started staring at him, he slightly opened one eye, glanced at me for a moment, and closed his eyes again before he began to speed up scooting away on the floor. My face went fully red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment as I ran over, kicked him to make him stop, then dragged him back into the office while sighing.

"Why did I even try to feel concerned about you?" (Mari)

"Why did you throw that teacup at me then? You even used magic!" (Kyle)

"Ahem. Well, that was a small mistake on my part." (Mari)

"That was attempted murder." (Kyle)

I crossed my arms and looked out the window with a tint of embarrassment on my face as I pouted.

"Look... I'm sorry, alright? I shouldn't have thrown that teacup at you."(Mari)

Ky sighed before grabbing his shirt and wringing it as tea dripped out.

"Being sorry doesn't fix anything... Look, you even got my favorite shirt wet. How am I supposed to show up to class like this?" (Kyle)

"Hmm, well, I guess you can borrow one of the student uniforms for now. It's probably better than showing up soaked in tea. There should be a few spares in one of the storage rooms." (Mari)

Ky gave me a sigh before turning around to leave my office again with an exhausted look on his face. I got up out of my chair and extended my hand towards him before calling out as he walked through the door.

"Wait, are you sure that you're ok? If there's anything wrong just tell me and I'll take you to a doctor right away." (Mari)

"It's alright, I'm fine. Don't worry, the only thing I've got going for me is how tough I am." (Kyle)

Ky waved his hand nonchalantly before closing the door behind him.

I stood there silently for a few moments and stared at the closed door as the background noise from outside slowly drowned out the faint sound of his footsteps. A strange sense of loneliness started to bubble up inside me.

It felt jarring to finally to hear silence in my office again.

It kind of felt like something was missing. Maybe it was just the sound of pages flipping and pen scratching on paper that I missed, or maybe it was that I subconsciously expected to hear a familiar voice start complaining about something stupid... but after a few more moments the feeling faded and I sat back down in my chair while staring at the ceiling. After a bit, I got up, rummaged through my shelves, and pulled out the same speech that I used every year for the opening ceremony before returning to my seat to jog my memory.

***

Half an hour passed by in silence as I sat at my desk and reread the speech before I heard someone knocking on my office door.

"Come in." (Mari)

The door opened after my voice sounded out and a young elven girl with short blonde hair, sky-blue eyes, and a pair of red-rimmed glasses timidly walked into my office. She was wearing the Royal Academy's student uniform, a light green blazer with the Academy emblem sewn on it, a black skirt, and a red tie.

I immediately recognized her once she walked into my office with a shy smile and my spirits were immediately lifted. The young girl standing in front of me was my older brother's daughter, my niece, Reina Sylfey. She was one of the new incoming students of the golden generation this year, and even without my, ahem, 'help,' her talent and proficiency in magic gave her one of the highest scores in magical ability this year.

"Is that you, Reina?" (Mari)

"Hi, Aunt Mari, how are you? I'm here to visit." (Reina)

My face immediately turned into a beaming smile once I saw my favorite niece and I got out of my chair to lead Reina to sit down.

"I'm doing fine. In fact, I feel better than ever. Come in and take a seat, we have tons to talk about. By the way, how are your parents doing?" (Mari)

"Oh, they've been well. Thanks for asking." (Reina)

"That's great. You seem to be doing better too. Looks like letting you work as a receptionist in the Adventurer's Guild these past few summers was a good idea. You look like you're a bit more confident now. So, have you decided what class you want to take? If you still haven't chosen, then just pick whatever class you want right now. Don't worry about whether or not registration is closed, I'll find a way to get you in!" (Mari)

"Eh? It's ok, Aunt Mari, I've already registered for my class and there wasn't any problem at all." (Reina)

"Really? Great! What magic class did you take? I'll make sure you have the best Professor in that section." (Mari)

"Um… actually, about that… I decided to register in the alchemy department instead." (Reina)

"The alchemy department? Why alchemy? I remember your father told me you came here to polish up your magic skills." (Mari)

Reina scratched her head adorably and looked away for a moment before looking at me with a rarely seen, determined expression on her face.

"W-Well, because of some personal reasons, I've decided that instead of magic, I want to study alchemy. So please let me learn about alchemy here, Aunt Mari!" (Reina)

My maternal instinct kicked in as I saw the determination in Reina's eyes, and I rubbed my cheek against hers while hugging her as tears flowed out of my eyes.

"It's ok, Reina, you can do whatever you want! I'll always support you, no matter what you want to do in the future. So if you want to be in the alchemy department, just say the word! I'll make sure the department head is the one who personally teaches you! And if there's anything wrong, come tell me and I'll help you take care of it immediately!" (Mari)

"Eh, the department head? No, no, no, it's fine Aunt Mari. Um, I already signed up for the class on ancient alchemy, and there's only one professor for that class, right?" (Reina)

Ancient alchemy? Who was the professor for that again?... Ah. Wait, Ky! It was Ky! I remember his application said he specialized in ancient alchemy, which means that Reina is one of the five students in his class.

I grabbed Reina by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes as my face turned serious.

"Reina, I'm telling you right now, drop that class and register for another one. It doesn't matter which class you pick, I'll get you in. So just choose another class. Please, any class but ancient alchemy. The professor for that class is a reckless lunatic, and you'll definitely get hurt!" (Mari)

"A lunatic? What are you talking about? Anyway, my primary choice was ancient alchemy, and I already registered… I can't tell you why, but I have to take that class! I won't take any others!" (Reina)

The determined look in Reina's eyes returned, and once I saw it, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop her.

I sighed and let go of Reina's shoulders before holding my head in my hands for a moment.

What do I do? Should I let her follow her dreams? Or should I hold her back for her own good? On one hand, I want to support her, but on the other hand, her professor is Ky. Ngh… I guess I'll have to go set Ky straight later then... for Reina's sake.

"Alright. If you're dead set, then I'll let you go. Just be careful. I'll need to have a 'talk' with your professor later too." (Mari)

Reina's determined look faded and she let out a sigh of relief as I planned out what I would do about Ky.

"Anyway, enough of that. Let's move on to something else. How was your summer, Reina?" (Mari)

"Oh, it was great." (Reina)

Reina's voice drowned out the background noise from outside as she went into detail about her summer working at the adventurer's guild, and we chatted with each other until it was time for the opening ceremony.

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Royal Academy, Front Gate (Kyle POV)

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I felt the warm summer breeze run over my face as I took a deep breath of the fresh air outside. Students in uniform walked past me on the paved pathways, and I stood on the lawn while loosely dressed in a similar light green blazer, which had the Royal Academy's emblem sewn over the left chest, as a satchel hung over my shoulder. A relieved breath left my mouth and I cracked a small smile before starting to walk around aimlessly with a newfound feeling of freedom.

It's been over a millennium, huh?

Picturesque scenes of a vibrant school campus filled my eyes as I slowly drifted away from the main roads and picked a spot under a random tree a short distance away from one of the side roads to sit down. The leaves glistened as the summer sunlight seeped through the gaps in the branches, illuminating small spots in the shade. I made my way over silently, took off my satchel, and plopped down at the base of the tree as I leaned my back against the trunk.

I sat there for a moment and stared at the clouds while reminiscing about the past… or at least I would have if it weren't for those damn couples! Yep, I guess I accidentally wandered into Eliza's domain again or something because while there were a fair amount of normal students walking by, there were also a bunch of couples flirting nearby everywhere, like they were mocking me about my status as an all-powerful arch-wizard.

Look, some of them are even sneaking glances at me! I know I should be more mature about this after over 1000 years of being single, but just because I'm an arch-wizard, doesn't mean I'm emotionless!

I leaned my head backward to avert my eyes and look at the sky when I heard a voice from behind me.

"Tsk, damn couples. They should all just go jump off a cliff together!"

"Ah." (Kyle)

I glanced around the tree and met face to face with another student sitting down against the opposite side of the tree trunk. He had a slim build, short, spiky green hair, and brown eyes while his outfit consisted of the student uniform and a pair of glasses with a black rim on the underside of the lenses.

The moment I saw him, I sensed a similar feeling from him, and I could tell that he was a true comrade, a wizard-in-training. I gave him a salute as I scooted around the tree, sat down next to him, and patted his shoulder with sympathetic tears in my eyes.

"I understand your pain, comrade." (Kyle)

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Royal Academy, Main Campus (Zane POV)

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I sat grumpily under in the shade of a tree as couples flirted with each other all around me. The aura of love was thick in the air, but unfortunately, there was a vacuum in my general area, and the exasperation only built up more and more in me as no matter where I looked, there was a couple nearby flirting. Eventually, I couldn't handle it anymore, and I finally let out a bit of bitter soliloquy.

"Tsk, damn couples. They should all just go jump off a cliff together!"

Stuck in my own little world, I muttered my thoughts to myself, when suddenly, I heard a voice from behind me.

"Ah."

Crap! When did someone get so close!?

A shock ran through my system as a sense of anxiety invaded my thoughts and cold sweat started running down my back.

Did he hear me? Please, tell me he didn't!

I mechanically turned my head to my side, and it was then that I met face to face with another man who was loosely wearing the student uniform. He had a slightly slender physique, a handsome pretty boy face accented by soft amber, almost gold-colored, eyes, and long, white hair that was tied into a ponytail.

Argh, of course! It just had to be a super popular-type guy, didn't it!? Look, I can even spot a few girls sneaking glances at him in the background!... Ah, I guess my reputation is done for. Everyone will hear about my true colors within a week... My academy debut hasn't even started yet. Of all the people to overhear me, why did it have to be someone like him?

My anxiety finally overcame my reason and I was about to start begging the other guy to keep quiet about what he heard when suddenly, he saluted me with tears in his eyes before scooting over next to me and patting me on the shoulder.

"I understand your pain, comrade."

"Wait, what?"

The unexpected series of events brought me back from the pit of despair I was in, and once I regained clarity in my mind, I sensed it. It was an unthinkable anomaly, but somehow, I felt a familiar wavelength from him. It was the same one that I had, the wavelength of someone cursed by the goddess of love.

"I-Impossible, could it be? Despite your looks, a-are you actually, a fellow wizard?"

"Trust me, I'm already beyond the level of an arch-wizard… You know, sometimes, I wonder to myself... why are we wizards still here? Just to suffer? Just to live out our lives being mocked by those happy couples around us? You feel it too, don't you?"

"Ah."

Tears spilled out of my eyes too as I extended my arm out and grabbed his hand in a manly handshake.

"Yeah. I never thought I'd ever find another wizard out here. My name is Zane, what's yours?" (Zane)

"I'm Kyle, but you can just call me Ky for short. Nice to meet you, comrade." (Kyle)

"Yeah, nice to meet you too. So, are you new here?" (Zane)

"Yep. I just started this year." (Kyle)

"Really? Me too. Well, actually, to tell you the truth, I only really enrolled at the Royal Academy because my two best friends did. I don't even know what they decided to come to here for, but as for me, I have a goal that I definitely have to accomplish in my time here." (Zane)

"Eh? What is it?" (Kyle)

Flames started burning in my eyes as I pumped myself up again and remembered my one true purpose for coming here.

"By the time I graduate from the Academy, I'll definitely get a cute girlfriend and escape from this accursed path to wizardom! I'll do it! I'll become a winner in life, I'll become a popular guy!" (Zane)

As I made my proclamation to ascend into a popular guy, Ky grabbed my shoulder again and wiped the tears off his face with the other arm.

"Become a popular guy, huh? To escape from the path to wizardom is a long and perilous journey, but I can already tell from the burning resolve in your eyes, you're gonna fight till the end! So you know what, I believe in you, Zane!" (Kyle)

"Yeah. I swear I'll get out, even if it's the last thing I do!" (Zane)

The background noise slowly blended in with our conversation as I sat in the shade next to Ky, and we chatted with each other about our experience as wizards for the next hour before the opening ceremony started.

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Royal Academy, Main Campus (Kyle POV)

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The sound of a page being flipped sounded out into an almost empty campus as I sat alone reading a book under the tree. The opening ceremony started a while ago and Zane left to meet up with his friends while I sat here passing time until classes started.

The surroundings blended together as I was enthralled by the romance novel that I picked up from the library earlier this month when suddenly, a loud bell started ringing and brought me back to my senses.

I stared around to see nobody nearby, waited until the ringing stopped, then went straight back to my book afterward. However, after reading through another page in my book, I felt like I was forgetting something important.

Wait, wasn't the bell the signal for something? Uh, what did Mari say it was again?... Oh, right. It's supposed to ring at the start of the semester... Ah. Wait, that means the semester started already! Crap! I'm gonna be late for class!

I slammed the book shut before chucking it back into my satchel and swinging it over my shoulder as I ran into the school building.

What room did Professor Balrum say was mine again? Room 208? No, wait, it was 207!

I ran through the empty main hallway before jumping up the stairs and turning right into another empty hallway. As I sprinted down the hallway on the second floor, I glanced at the signs above the doors looking for my classroom.

204... 205... 206... There, 207!

I stopped in my tracks before grabbing the door to the classroom and thrusting it open. My legs propelled me forward and I stumbled into the room while glancing around. The classroom was built like a small lecture hall, with a blackboard behind a large desk in the front of the room and four rows of long tables facing the blackboard. There was a slightly lively atmosphere in the room as I saw five students sitting in the front row, which meant I was the last one to arrive...

Next to the window were two girls dressed in student uniforms smiling and talking to each other. One of them had long silky black hair and dark purple eyes, while the other one had short blonde hair, blue eyes covered by a pair of red-rimmed glasses, and pointed ears which showed that she was an elf.

On the other side of the room were three boys talking amongst themselves. One of them had a head of black hair and similarly colored black eyes along with a kind smile on his face while another one had a grumpy look on his face, blue hair, and sharp green eyes. However, the last one was actually someone I recognized, Zane.

"Crap. I'm late, aren't I?" (Kyle)

All eyes in the room turned to stare at me as I sighed, and the blonde elf girl suddenly held her head down while Zane called out to me cheerfully.

"Hey, Ky! You're in this class too? What a coincidence. Anyway, don't worry, you're not late, the professor hasn't even shown up yet!" (Zane)

I sighed, walked over to the desk in front of the room, threw my satchel down on top of the table, and took a seat in the chair as I slouched backward.

"Of course the professor hasn't shown up yet... I'm the professor." (Kyle)

"Eh?" (Zane)

Zane had a dumbfounded look on his face as I waved my hand around at the class and gave them a lackluster greeting.

"Alright everyone, welcome to Ancient Alchemy 101. I'm Professor Kyle." (Kyle)