********
(Everything that happened ... This is all my fault !!!)
Finally I arrived at his resting place.....I knelt before Kyle...My tears kept flowing endlessly...
"Kyle ... You know ... Earlier I went to your house and I found this letter !! And you know? How foolish I just realized this reality ....In the past all I could do was get angry at you ... I'm very stubborn isn't it Kyle? ".
I continued to talk to him ... Until the day was dawning ... And a lot of "them" who tried to approach me....but I didn't care at all ...
The whispers of "them" were increasingly heard in my ears
"This is all your fault !!"
"Because of you he died!!"
"You're so selfish !!"
"You're too stupid ..."
"At least you are ashamed to come in front of him again !!!"
And many more ..... They are right.....it's pissed me off....
"That's right it's all true !!! ..... It's all my fault .... I'm so selfish !! because I care more about my own feelings than kyle's feelings !!" I said while hugging Kyle's headstone ...
"You'd better die !!"
That whisper makes me more soluble in blaming myself ...
(Death ? ... Right ... That's the right way for me to catch up with you ... So ... Wait for me !!!). I can't think clearly anymore ...
At that time all I could think about is a way that I could die !! ...
On this very dark night .... I step my foot to leave his grave .... My mind is very chaotic .... I can't even control myself fully ..... I keep walking to follow where this foot goes ... ..
I don't care what will happen again ...
Until ... My feet took me to this very high building ...
I don't care what's in front of me .... "their" presence doesn't make me care anymore ... Because this gaze is full of emptiness ...
When I realized that I had crossed the guardrail ...
Even though I have a phobia of heights ... In the past, my fear always came excessively when I was invited by Kyle to play truant on the roof of the school building ... Because when I looked down... it felt really scary ..... But this time it was different when I looked down ... That fear didn't come again.....
I'm increasingly unable to think clearly ....
(Kyle ... I'm sorry .... I can't keep my promise to stay alive ... I'm sorry Kyle ... Wait for me there !!!)
There is no reason for me to be alive ...
(Mama and papa don't care too much about me ... They will only visit me if something big happens to me ... maybe they will only come to visit me when I die !!). Because I only have Kyle by my side ... And now he's gone ...Then I will also follow him ...
I let go of my grip from the guardrail .... And close my eyes ... I can feel this body losing its balance .....
However ... All of a sudden ...
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