Chereads / The Defeated Gentleman / Chapter 11 - Catharsis

Chapter 11 - Catharsis

Mercury was disappointed. She was sitting inside the cabin, waiting for Vander Meir to come and talk about her performance. She had noticed a timer in the cabin as she began the recognition laps, her best time had been her second lap. The track as Vander had explained was very straight forward, it required and incredible amount of concentration, it felt as if every turn and obstacle in it were enough for a complete, but this was only half the length, you had to take on every change with no space to calm down.

She was disappointed, because she was certain the track could be driven faster, much faster than she did. The result had left her with the same sensation she has had since the end of the league last season, what she could do to improve, to change. Experience would come, every time she started another race, she felt more comfortable, but she felt there was something missing, she could not say what it was, but she was sure if you could find it, she would be faster, perhaps that just how everyone felt.

She had failed, and she had done it in front of one of her idols, part of her felt like crying and wanted to run away, go back home, but she would not. She was a MAC pilot, she had driven as fast as she could, she would not run from the result.

Thud thud, the sound woke her from her thoughts, she turned and saw Vander standing outside the MAC, Mercury quickly opened the hatch.

"How do you feel?" Vander asked as he looked at her.

"Sad, confused, angry" She answered sincerely.

"How was the track?"

"Hard, on the recognition laps, I did not find anything particularly difficult, but once I started racing, things kept coming at you with no breaks" Mercury had felt terrified on the first lap.

"Good, that is the intend of the track. Do you think if I gave you another chance could you get a different result?" Mercury felt as if he had hit a sore spot, on that comment.

"Honestly, I don't think so, not a real change per se. I have been trying to figure what I could do differently, in my driving I mean, but have yet to find an answer" Her voice had cracked a little as she confessed.

"Would you give it a try, if I gave you some pointers?" Vander was serious.

"Yes please" Mercury lit up instantly, she had another chance, and he would give her advice.

"From my point of view you have been trying to change your driving style, and it is not a bad thing if it is to make adjustments or correct errors, but in my opinion you have made a mess of what were your strengths" He pause for a moment to let that sink in "You looked at your replays, and identified spots were you could improve, and tried to force you to do what most pilots do, in order to become faster, have you not?" Mercury was numb, how come this man knew. She had done exactly that, adjust her moment for breaking, doing things different, and in the end she had managed to land a better result.

"You might even feel as if those changes had already become part of your usual driving, as if they had become natural on you, but I think they are harming your driving, because you make judgment based on moments, and did not look at the whole picture. For instance, you used to break sooner before a series of curves, or take a more open approach on curves, but you have been forcing you to break later, and take curves more closely, but you used to take advantage in the way you did things before" Mercury was still confused "The way this track is built, it will force you to display your skills, because things keep coming one after the other, as such it highlights a pilot flaws and strengths. You take a better first turn, but you end up in a bad place to take the next, and it is more notorious on consecutive turns, overall, you end up losing more time" Mercury's eyes went wide, that was it, why she had felt terrified on the first fast lap, she was constantly on the edge of failing.

"But I was able to earn a better spot this year, and t was thanks to the changes I made" She was calmed but confused, she was not arguing against his opinion, rather, she wanted him to help her understand.

"Two things, first, experience. Most people underestimate how much difference experience can make. The second, you should improve on the things you noticed, but you had to consider the whole picture and adjust to your style. Your results improved a lot on plain tracks, with the gimmicks you forced yourself, but look at your result on the classic. In the end, you manage to get a better result, but I think you would have done better, if you have been more natural. I think you have not felt sure on what else you should change to improve, or am I wrong?" Mercury heart was racing, he had addressed her doubts and it made sense.

"No, I have been wondering exactly that" She answered him honestly.

"This is what we are going to do, you will have 3 more laps, on the track. The first one, you take it as you have been driving. The second, I want you to relax, and take it as you did last season, do what feels natural. You are free to take on the last one as you feel like, understood?" Mercury nodded.

"Yes, thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Meir" She responded beaming.

Vander went away from the MAC and into the building. Mercury heart had been racing with everything Vander had said, but she was calming herself. She was not certain about what he had said, but she had understood her, all that was left, was racing.

"One last thing, I am turning the lap timer off. I think it is doing more harm than good" Vander said over the comms "Start whenever you are ready, Mercury"

A second later, she was dashing through the track at over 1000 Km/h. The first part of the track had slopes, and transitions, from the track to the walls and back, he had taken them great. The second part of the track had some turns with transitions, and two no grav jumps. She took those with the skills she had force herself to learn. The third part of the track had a series of slopes and transitions and consecutive turns that took the MAC to incredible speeds, that fastest speed she had ever driven. The last part of the track was the trickiest for her, a series consecutive turns and obstacles, she has had a lot of troubles forcing herself to break closer to the turn and taking it from its shortest side. She was determined this time however, and was really focused, she was sure she had done less time, this lap on that part.

"Here is the second lap, Mercury, relax, let your driving flow naturally" Vander said over the comms.

She would take his advice wholeheartedly, she calmed down and focused, passed the first part with not much difference. She then reached the transitions and the jumps, she had taken the first jump as she had done before her change in style, but just as she finished she felt she had lost seconds, as she was nearing the second one, she was about to make the jump as she did on the first lap "You are trying to make a burst before the jump, keep calm, do it as you are used to" Vander's voice calmed her, and she made the jump as she did in the past.

The third part felt not much differently than last lap, but somehow, she felt more comfortable and focused. As the last part of the track, came she felt a bit on edge, she had always had some trouble with consecutive turns like these ones, and it had been one of the reasons why she had decided to change "Do not try to force you to break later, do what feels natural Mercury" Vander interrupted her over the comms, she took a deep breath before the first turn, and began taking turns. She was certain she had been slower, but as she entered the next one, and the one after that, her time was improving, she was in control of the MAC. She finished the lap, amazed on how different and natural it had felt, she might have really gone faster this lap.

"The last lap is on you, Mercury. Take it as you feel like, once you finish it, step down from the MAC and come meet me here, bring the key with you please" Vander closed the comms.

She was not sure, if he had already decided her fate. Had he found on her what he was looking for?, it did not matter for her right now. His advice and the last lap had been cathartic. She might have really been crippling herself, she did the last lap, trying to remain as natural as she could, but trying to fit in, the skills she had hammered onto herself last season. As she stopped the MAC, she wondered which lap had been the fastest.

She turned off the MAC and was smiling a completely different feeling that what she had just felt. She exited the MAC and headed to where Vander was waiting for her. As she went inside, she noticed, Vander was reviewing her laps, on different displays. She was surprised.

"How do you feel Mercury?" Vander asked as he had when he had come to talk with her on the MAC.

"Satisfied and happy" She responded smiling.

"Good, and how was the track?" He asked the same once more.

Hard, still" That response had not changed.

"That's even better" He laughed, and so did she "Would you like to know your lap times?"

"Yes please"

"Your fastest lap was 3 minutes and 2 seconds, the slowest one was 3 minutes and 54 seconds. Which ones would you say they were?" Vander asked with a poker face.

"The fastest one was the third, and the slowest one the first" She said not thinking much about it.

"Well, well, well, it seems like you have renounced to your forced style" Vander replied with a smug face "The truth is, your slowest lap, was the third. The fastest, the second" Mercury was confused, she had felt that the combination of both styles would end better results, she was frowning.

"You tried to make a mix, on the third lap, that was a good idea, the problem is that even though you have recognized you have things that need to improve, you still end up forcing the changes, and harming your style, you lack the experience required for that. You need to focus on you style identify your strengths and adapt you style to address the faults" Vander explained to Mercury, who looked confused as well "It is not something easy to understand or do, otherwise everyone would be Dorian Dur, but for you in particular, as you force yourself to do these things, you lose focus and your cool"

Mercury was silent for a moment, she had felt better on the second and third laps, that was for sure, and the results were there, she could not deny them. She had been lost on what she could do to improve, and she had stopped thinking about it, because someone had offered her a chance to join the circuit. She had came here hoping to showcase her skills, and had ended up being schooled, she felt grateful for the chance, and the lesson, she would not let them go to waste.

"Thank you, for the opportunity Mr. Meir, I really appreciate everything you have said to me. You addressed the worries I have been having about my driving and I am incredibly grateful for it. I will take what you have shown me and train hard. I hope you could give me another chance next year maybe?" She had finished satisfied with her test, and was really grateful with what she had learned, but she could not finish those words without her voice breaking a bit. She felt it was wrong to ask for another chance, but if she did not dare to, she would not be a pilot.

"Why would you like another chance next year, you don't want to join our team" Vander look confused and worried at her response.

"No, I mean, I do, but I why" Mercury heart was beating nonstop, she heard Vander said they wanted her in their team.

"I told you from the beginning Mercury, we think you already have the skills required to join the pro circuit. We wanted to see them firsthand, and asses you. For what we have seen, you were already trying to improve yourself, although in a wrong way, that tells us a lot about you as a pilot. I, wanted to see if you were willing to take my advice, and how were you in using that information. The results of the last laps, speak for that" Vander gave her a moment "Mercury Quinn, we are satisfied with the result of the test, would you like to join our team?" Vander asked her solemnly.

"Yes" it was all Mercury could reply.