I went in and out of consciousness, barely aware of my surroundings, sometimes not even aware if I had my eyes closed or open, only being able to gather some flashes and sounds.
I heard whimpering, growls, what sounds like blunt attacks and fights breaking in as the snow and wind picks up, making me lose my grip on reality for I could not feel my fingers and toes anymore, my body breaking down as my mind had seconds before.
Next that I knew off I was swinging around, the trees passing like a blur, making me dizzy and nauseated as I close my eyes again, my body getting so, so cold that I felt that my muscles had been frozen as it is, every movement hurting no matter how small.
Then, in contrast to all the cold I felt, somewhere in that frenzy, with a foggy mind, I felt like I was burning up from inside out, as if my core was burning up every fiber until the tip of my fingers, far worse on my chest and head, making me feel like my brain had melted down into a puddle.
When even that finally subdued… I woke up.
My heart was racing, I could feel the drumming blood close to my ears as the shock from the last events plays back in my body and mind as if I still stood under that terrible situation.
When finally my eyes open I shot up in a sitting position, shivering and trembling in fear as I hug my arms and knees, moving back and forth with widening eyes, unable to think, unable to calm down as my body spasmed in fear.
I hold one hand against my ribcage, feeling that my heart was about to jump out of my chest, my breath coming with effort as the air itself was a toxic cloud, hard to inspire, almost thick.
I only found comfort in the constant movement, going back, then forth, back, then forth again, hugging myself tightly as one of my hands was over my chest squishing and hitting myself slightly in the rhythm of my heartbeat.
I stay like that for who knows how long, the overwhelming emotions and feelings from my body overcoming my senses to the point that I was totally unaware where I was, and if any creature had come on that very moment I would be doomed.
But none came… And I manage to calm down… Only to see my surroundings, and freak out again.
I was inside a cave, a cold one yet not as freezing as it was outside with the sharp wind and snow. I was deep into it, with a fire burning just a few steps away.
And I was naked, rolled around in furs who worked well to easy the glacial temperature.
But not too easy out my mind.
My body… my clothes, were taken… where were they? Who took them out? For how long was I like this? This fur… was from real animals?
I could feel an itching sensation crawling on my skin like little spiders walking with their tiny hairy legs searching for ways to get in over my nose my ears my eyes my very own skin every pore a way for the contamination to spread under my skin and into my body making me shiver knowing that I was already contaminated with who knows how many diseases that could have come from anywhere at this point the saliva the fur the floor the snow the wind from someone's touch and-
It was suffocating.
I couldn't breathe.
I hardly realized that I was holding my own arms too tight at some point, the nails piercing the skin and dripping blood, the red liquid standing out from my milky white skin, the image of a ghost I would presume.
I shivered nonstop, taking deep breaths to steady myself, and taking who knows how long again to do so, still really shaken by all the situation but at least cleared minded enough to look over my arms and knees towards my surroundings.
With widening eyes and unsteady breathing I finally see what was inside the cave with more detail them panicking over my situation.
I was in a more secluded area of the cave on a place filled with many furs, scattered about on the floor like one would do to many pillows, giving a very soft makeshift bed, with a somewhat wall made of stalagmites pillars with spaces in between to give a good view of the rest of the place and yet some privacy for the once sleeping here.
Beyond that was the fireplace set right in the center, far from anything that could burn, plus on an inward round crevice, giving dancing shadows to the stalagmites and stalactites around, making the cave seem deeper too.
There were some trunks on the boundaries of the light of fire, the smaller ones used as firewood pilled together as a big pair were lay sideways as a bench.
Someone clearly lived here, and for quite some time, making it as comfortable as a cave could get. There was a lot of fur around, the better ones used as blankets and a bed, the others, looking like a leathery deer fur, were or piled on the side or used as a carpet.
A very rudimentary way cover the cold stone floor. I could even smell the faint odor of bodies and blood, but however hunted here was smart and did not clean his meal in the same place it sleeps as not to attract any unwanted animal into its layer.
With wobbly legs I stand, covering myself with the fur yet not letting it touch me, too aware of the meat and blood that once covered the inner parts of this fur, and how no cleaning tools would make it unsoiled enough for me to touch it for long, and yet I was divided with the need to cover myself and have some protection against the cold, which lead me to hold it close, only my fingers touching with an almost physical pain, feeling that it was burning my fingers as I force them to hold the soft brown fur.
With a higher line of sight I could see the light from the outside coming from the side of the cave, the curves of the tunnel giving enough protection as to cut the glacial wind from coming in with full force.
On the side I saw a lake reflecting light on the ceiling of the cave, the lines moving like snakes and giving the place a celestial light to it, even more because that area had a higher roof that had many stones pillars and stalactites, all as if drawn by hand as it had been sculptured by the dripping water for many, many years.
I look the place up carefully, trying to see if I was alone, and if whoever had… saved me was still around.
I mean, I guess I was saved, right? I'm not sure since I pass out, but I believe tha-that the act hadn't been completed as my body and back were fine.
Not that it made much of a difference for me, since what he did was enough to set me on edge, and to make me feel… dirty. Dirty in too many ways, infested, already infected as the germs had crawled on my skin and must be already inside me and on my bloodstream and-
S-stop! Just, don't think about it, ignore it, pretend is fine.
I cannot break down again, not now.
And yet my hands were shaking.
"H-hello?" My voice was raspy from screaming and sounded too weak for me, not that it had been a smart idea to make a sound to begin with, stupid.
As I look towards the floor once more, however, I see that a pile of furs is moving to the side, freezing me in place.
Until I see a brown ear poking out from it.
"Kira!"
I start to walk, raising my foot, but then I stop as I see that I was quite in a predicament; that I was barefoot, and to reach her I had to walk on the stone floor and even over the leathery deer fur.
Oh no no no, I-I can't, who knows what had passed there, how many animals came and went, bringing all sorts of things under their paws, ugh.
And yet I knew I could be here for hours debating with myself, but I was already convinced that I had to step out, not only to check on Kira but to find my things and get out of this place.
I was hungry too… starving for a whole day without a meal plus exercising the hell out by running on the woods. But that could wait for a little longer… I had to get to Kira and see if she was right.
I was determinate to go there, but every time a scowl of determination would form on my forehead and make me incline forward I would end backing off in the last second, panting as I tried once more.
Oh god, I thought suddenly. W-what if that was just her body? W-hat if they had already skinned her so she could be added in one these piles of fur?
That made me sick.
I don't know if I would survive without her.
I don't know if a wanted to survive without her.
At that my foot finally goes down, the cold floor feeling as numerous needles pricking up on my skin and cramping up the nerves in my leg. Every step was like putting my leg in cold freezing water as I kept my mind blank from all the implications of walking barefoot in this wild cave.
I could finally breathe once I reach the next pile of furs where she was, knowing deep down that the fur was as bad as the floor for contamination, but calmer in having some protection against the outside, even if it meant just for my feet against the floor.
But my relief did not last long as I went closer to the plumb under the furs, my breath accelerating once more at the prospective that… that!
Stop it and just go there!
So I do just that and walk towards the other side of the fur where I could have a good look at her; and there she was, eyes closed, tongue slightly out of the mouth in peaceful slumber for what I could see by her rising and falling chest.
Sigh... It is like a heavyweight had been lifted from my heart, only for me to see her paw out of the curve of the fur all bandaged up and with some branches to keep it in place, like a rudimentary cast.
"What happen to you?"
I go closer, unconsciously reaching out only to remember that I did not have my gloves on, making me close my hand into a fist and bring it back against my chest, only to shake my head and reach out again and stroke her head with my bare fingers, for the first time feeling how soft her fur was.
I didn't last long doing that, smiling at the overcame challenged, but feeling the weight of so many scary things happening all at once, a headache starting, tensing the muscles on my temples and making my head feel heavier.
Oh, I just noticed that my glasses were nowhere to be seen, and yet… I was seeing fine? I hope I did not lose it in the woods or something.
At that Kira opens her eyes, only to look at my, wiggle weakly her tail, and lay down again. Poor her, what had happened? Did she… tried to protect me? I remember the sound of fight and whimpering, but her against a pack… it was a miracle on itself that she was still alive.
But then, who brought us here?
When I was starting to calm down and relax a bit I hear it, a scratching sound coming from the entrance, nails against the stone, a wrecking sound that send chills down my spine and froze me in place, terrified.
W-who was there?
And worst of all…
What was coming in?
****
Sorry for the short/late update, my computer broke for two days this week and made it very hard for me to write, barely managing it today, uff.
Crossing my fingers that it doesn't break down for good!
Sooo, who is going to appear now ehm??? Hehe.
Info!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ogPcEmVsE
The akita - japanese bear hunting dog
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpaetHrytic
Top 10 wolf facts - everything you ever wanted to know about wolves
https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/panic-disorder-agoraphobia/symptoms
Panic attack Symptoms
See ya next Friday!!