it took two months to heal enough for me finally get dress but putting on a corset was still out of question. as I stood by my room window looking out to the workers working on there outdoor tasks feeling bad for them for working in the frozen rain mix .
click . I heard my door open behind me . I dont bother to turn around to see who it was . the strong smell of sigars and alchohol made it very obvious. " Look at me you disappointment of a daughter " my father ordered slamming the door shut . I slowly turn ti him not showing no hint of emotion I just tilt my head slightly and stare at his angry face in which my deadpan expression makeing him even angrier . " you will ....." blah blah blah I can see my fathers angry face and watch his mouth move but I cut out the sound of his voice and fall down deep with my own thought but I quit get thrown back to reality as my face is struck sideways as my father smacks me across my face . " I wish you had died you worthless child " hisses my father then he turns on his heels and opens the door the pauses then looks back at me glaring shakes his head slams the door shut behind him and as his steps echo away from my room I stay still till I hear nothing then I fall to my floor holding my stinging cheek. hours pass and I still just lay there on the floor then a knock on the door startles me and I turn my head to the side an look ar my door from the floor . Bonnabell pokes her head in my room and looks around then she spots me on the floor and the rushes in my room with a try of bread and soup and cheese. " you ok " ? askes setting the tray down quickly and rushes to my side . her long curly hair fall past her shoulders and hang down close to my face as she pulls my head up on her lap. I have struggled with my feelings about Bonnabell I just cant shake a feeling she had betrayed me some how. " I'm fine ". I say sitting up and getting up off the floor . Bonnabell gives me a worried look and scurries to her feet. "Kathrine you have been treating me differently since you came back ." she whimpers out trying not to cry " your starting to act like a corpse with no emotion ". Bonnabell say now cry .
I turn away from her fight with all my might not to hug her and tell her I was sorry for being cold to her, but I turn away from her and go to the tray of food and pick up the small loaf of bread and bite into it ignoring her. She then shortly stormed out of my room crying and I cover my face with my hands frustrated cause part of me wanted to chase her and go back to the old times but its that's part of doubt and I just cant shake it..
frowning I turn back to my soup and eat my fill.