"NO!"
I frantically Sit up in my bed startling myself awake. Sweat coats my entire body as i breathe slowly trying to compose myself. Every night is the same. The same nightmare, the same reaction, the same blurred face that haunts my dreams. The face of a man i don't know, yet i'm terrified every time he creeps into my thoughts.
I glance over at the clock on my bed side table. 3:27am. Letting out a short sigh i get out of my bed and head to the kitchen of my cramped apartment. Pouring myself a glass of water, I let my mind wonder. For as long as i can remember I've only experienced restless nights. The faceless man that haunts my dreams makes sure of that. " Come on Jupiter, Get yourself together." I breathe to myself.
Placing my glass in the sink i walk to the bathroom to shower knowing i will not be falling back asleep tonight.
In the shower i cleared my head of all things nightmare and men related. It's kind of my specialty. I have what 'professionals call' Androphobia. As far back as i can remember I've always been afraid of men. I don't remember most of my childhood so i don't know how or when it accrued but it's here and i have to deal with this stupid fear in my day to day life. All i can say is, I some how manage.
Wrapping a towel around myself, i step out of the shower and wipe the fogged mirror. Dark circles have planted themselves under my eyes permanently. Fine red lines coat the whites of my eyes not doing much to compliment the odd brown color of them. " The eyes of Jupiter" I snicker. I was Named after The planet. Not because my mom was some space loving weirdo or any deep meaning. The reason is because my eyes resemble it's color. The deep redish brown color with an outer rim of gold that looks more puke yellow then anything. It's not like i hate my name. It just gets tiring every time i introduce myself i always get the same comment 'like the planet?' on repeat.
Walking out of the bathroom noting the time is now 4:34am, I turn to my closet to set my clothes for the day. A plain pair of blue jeans and an over sized sweatshirt. I wasn't to big into fashion. I mostly wore the same type of outfit everyday. Those types of things didn't matter to me. Who was i trying to impress? Dressing in my clothes i walked back to the bathroom to brush out the dark tangled hair that barely touched my shoulders. My hair did nothing to compliment my thin pale face, not that i tried to improve it anyway.
I cleaned my apartment and watched Tv until it was time to head to 8am photography class. leaving my apartment I locked the doors and started the short walk to the bus stop outside of my apartment building. Sitting on the bench, I pulled out my phone and found the name Patience Tera in my contact list and sent her a text.
" You better be up." a short minute later i received a reply. " Okay MOM." I Laughed to myself silently. Patience always had a way of making me laugh she was such an outgoing fun loving dork. No one better is suited to be my best friend. Another message came in " Jupiter, you worry to much. I'm an adult I can handle myself... but thanks for the wake up call, my alarm actually didn't go off! Can you believe that!? Getting dressed now. Save me a seat!" Laughing again i simply replied " your welcome"
On the bus i made sure to find the most secluded seat i could find. We had just one stop before the the college stop. " I can do this" as i stated to myself every morning. Only one passenger got on the next stop. I watched from the corner of my eye as the man entered the bus and made his way to the section i was sitting in. 'Come on dude all these empty seats and you decide to sit closest to me?' I thought to myself. I'm sure on the outside i looked like a normal 21 year old student minding her business. That was the furthest from the truth. On the inside i was panicking. It was hard to breathe as i felt the stares of the man. I wanted to run but obviously couldn't. I pretended to read a book i had in my bag trying to block the man out. I almost jumped out of my seat when i heard the man speak.
"Photography? That has to be a lot of fun!" He referenced to the book i was pretending to read.
"uh yeah." I said coldly. I Saw his confused looking face as if he said something he shouldn't have. To be honest, he didn't I know all men aren't bad. I know my fear of them is irrational. I honestly felt bad for the way i came off to men. I must have sounded so .. bitchy. I just couldn't bring myself to get over this fear.
The bus came to a stop in front of my school and i rushed out of my seat and off the bus running directly into Patience.
"Hey! If you were anyone else i would have knocked some sense into your thick skull. At least look where you are going when you are in a panic!" She scolded as I pulled myself together catching my breath.
"Sorry.. I was just..."
"Running from another nice man? Yeah i figured." She helped me gather the papers that fell out of my notebook.
"Thanks" I said swiftly as she grabbed my arm and started dragging me towards the school.
" So what was it this time? Was he being weird or normal?" She asked still holding my arm.
" He seemed nice. he only commented on my book"
"Then whats the problem Jupiter!? How will you ever get a boyfriend and experience the joys of romance if you always run away in fear?" She questioned.
" I guess i wont." I replied shortly ending the conversation. We walked in silence the rest of the way to class. It's not like i hate the idea of romance. I just can't seem to not be afraid of every man who approaches me.
Class went by swiftly. Patience left me to go to another class she had directly after. I was free for the rest of the day. Not wanting to go home i decided to walk to the nearby park. It was usually always empty. No one wanted to hang around because of some alleged 'gang' members always messing with people. I come to this park often and never see anyone gang related or not. as i was walking down one of the side walk paths leading into trail covered by trees, i started to feel a bit uneasy. I heard faint footsteps behind me so i started to pick up the pace. As i did the foot steps also increased speed.
"Hey girlie!" I heard a man behind me call out. I ignored it and continued my rushed walk/run. "Hey girl, I'm talking to you!" The voice sounded closer and i began to panic suddenly I was yanked back by a man. He clenched my arm pulling me to a complete stop. I was frozen in fear. i couldn't move, couldn't breathe. " It's not nice to ignore a nice man When he's calling after you." I imagined myself pulling my arm away and running as fast as i could, screaming, punching, kicking, something, Anything, but my body would not correspond with my brain. " Ain't ya going to apologize?" The man exclaimed. He moved closer to my frozen body looking me up and down.
"Or do i have to force it out of you?" He yanked my arm until i was directly against his body. why wasn't i able to do anything. Why couldn't i move or even scream? I was hopeless. The man roughly grabbed my chin and stared into my eyes forcing me to look directly at him. He started leaning closer. He was about to kiss me! Come on Jupiter! DO SOMETHING. I crammed my eyes shut tears starting to compile. In the next moment the presence of the man had disappeared. I heard grunting and a small cry from the man as i stood there, eyes still closed tightly.
Silence. A short moment later all i heard was silence. I started to calm my rapid breathing. I opened my eyes. In the corner of my eye, The man who was just harassing me laid on the ground covered in dirt and blood. I turned around to start to run and hit something hard making me fumble backwards and my shut my eyes once again. I was waiting for the impact of the ground, but it never came. I opened my eyes slowly. A pair of dark , almost black, deep eyes were staring directly at me from above. I didn't move. This time i wasn't frozen in fear. I was just frozen. I quickly realized this man. with the dark eyes. had caught me from falling. His arms were around my back, he was towering over me just staring coldly down at me, and yet i felt no fear.Instead, I felt.. Safe.
'Who is he?'