Joc had been traveling through the helllands for roughly around a month, although he wasn't exactly counting the days. His life consisted of finding and eating red foot rot, using refining magic to extract the iron from the river water he was drinking, avoiding demon beasts as he travel along an river and last of all sleeping on the cold earth; It was a miserable existence to say the least.
But it gave Joc plenty of time to think; for the first week the only thoughts that filled his mind, were ones of bloodthirsty rage, revenge fantasies and utter hatred for the helllands, more specifically red foot rot. But the rage, hatred and thoughts of revenge soon turned cold coming into the second week. Joc's mind instead became occupied with a single question 'why', why was he killed, why didn't his family come to his aid, why did his peers forsaken him, why was he betrayed; Joc did understand that envy played a large role.but he knew that it cannot of been simply only due to envy; because for as much of a ugly emotion that envy is, for as atrocious the acts that can be committed by the jealous. only a few individuals truly become completely consumed by the vile sin. No it had to be something else, something else that drove his betrayal.
So Joc reflected upon his life, going through the many actions he took and many actions that he didn't. It took him until the fourth week to truly and fully comprehend the answer. while viewing his actions in retrospect, he finally understood something, finally understood the answer to the question of 'why', In truth it was at least partially for a shockingly, idiotically, stupidly simple reason, Joc was… a bit of asshole. Looking back Joc started to understand that he would regularly do or say things that would piss off the nobility and the church. Joc's foul mouth and temper was invariably going to make him insult people, intentionally or not. Expediting people's hatred for him was the fact that he was quite militant with his ideas, ideas that which are fairly antithetical to the current noble's mindsets.
Joc's idea of the' ideal noble' or enlightened autocrat, asked for the forsaking of most luxuries that the nobles currently enjoy and instead demanding that one lives in a relatively simple lifestyle, at least relatively simple compared to the nobles current lifestyle. His 'ideal noble' had to be a person of diligence, competence, just character, and of compassion; the 'ideal noble' had to be a paragon of values, the role model that the common folk look up to and desired to become like. The 'ideal noble' should be one whose only true drive is the prosperity of their subjects, one who would sacrifice their very life for their subjects.
The thing was that this concept of an 'ideal noble' was not a revolutionary one. In actual fact it probably existed since the birth of the nobility. It was a very simple idea in essence, which was that those who rule should be just as much of a servant to the people as the people are a servant to them and that this is where they derive their right to rule.
But this concept, this philosophy wasn't intuitive to the nobility. but was in fact contrary to what the nobility actually believed in, at least for the majority of them; it has become quite clear to Joc even during his life as Margrave that you can't just tell the nobles to act properly and shape up. No they were they very resistant; they had become come accustomed to a certain style of life. So as a result he understood that he had to make them shape up, he did that through various means key among those coercion and law. It now in hindsight it had become painfully clear to Joc just how hated he must've been and that was simply for the nobility. he had also did a pretty good job at pissing off the clergy.
But that was for a different reason than the nobility, because at least in theory one would believe that the clergy and Joc would be the best of friends. After all the both in theory held many of the same values, modesty, diligence, compassion, selflessness, chastity, although in chastity's case the reason was very very different compared to the clergy. But that was all in theory, because first of all Joc's reasoning had very little to do with faith; He didn't really actually placed much in the religious aspect of these values, actually joc wasn't that religious. Secondly Joc viewed the clergy as being… Leeches, whom held even less value than the are ready corrupt nobility; to him the clergy was essentially a shittier version of the nobility, who was constantly stick their nose in business they had nothing to do with, as well as being wastrels who enriched themselves off the faithful.
Third and last of all was the church's view on demons and slavery, the things that they preached to the masses, revolted Joc to the core of his very being. Clergy would regularly expose such things as like "the demon is nothing more than a simple vile beast, their very soul contains not but a desire for blood and rape. They are nothing more than vile evil animals, whom must be wiped from the face of these divine lands. They must be driven to extinction!"
The clergy would regularly make claims that demons were not people, that they needed to be exterminated or enslaved like the quote unquote 'beasts' that they were. But it was not only the enslavement of demons that they would defend; no they would also defend normal slavery saying such idiotic things as "the slave can but only be a sinner and so they must repent, through their labors."
Joc didn't appreciate the clergy's genocidal rhetoric or their defense of slavery; because for a strange as it may seem Joc utterly despise the very concept of slavery, especially chattel slavery and that of unpersoning demons. The reason for his despise of these two things is very very simple he finds treating people like animals disgusting. for as much he loathes the demons, for as much as he finds the demons being morally deficient, for as vile as he believes the demons are… He still fully believes that demons are people and as such, as long as they can behave themselves, they should be treated as equals to humans.
So because Joc viewed the clergy as being very repugnant; he would regularly feud with and undermine the church, at times even being extremely petty.
----------
"unggg… In the end… did I really fucking accomplish a damn thing?... Hated and despised for supposedly working with demon, my achievements born from the goddamn fucking sacrifice of my health and well-being, Fucking Stolen. Ahhh…. Friend…. You were right I should have looked for Fuller fields abroad…ha… All that I've built… It's all probably coming crashing down about now. John, hans, anton…all my lovely vessels, I highly doubt you'll take my death lying down. But you can't win against those whoresons, they poisoned the proverbial well. Ah ha… Even have god on their side that is if the obnoxious clergy is to be believed... That shitbag cunt Rudlag has the realm drinking out of his 'well'….." Joc somber voice slowly trailed off as he stared up at the starry night sky.
It was a truly depressing notion that all he had built, that he had accomplished, all the loyal vessels he cultivated. Was going to be torn down and rendered to carrion to be feasted upon by those vile vultures. A final sorrowful nail driving his mind into anguish was the fact; this had only come to pass because he acted as a servant. He didn't seize opportunity that presented its self; if he wanted to, he could've overthrown the King when he was but a prince. It would've been easy, the populaces had yet to be poisoned with those retarded notion that joc was a parasite. it was still fresh and clear in their minds of who actually dealt with the demon threat. He had momentum, He had inertia, if only he had acted on it. The vile vultures would not be able to stop him; he could have used the hammer that is his army to hammer them against, the anvil that was his fame. He could've been king; no he could've become the undisputed dictator of the realm.
But no he instead served the realm as it was, the power, the prestige, the wealth he could've had at his fingertips… Slipped through his fingers… Simply because he had good intentions. Good intentions that brought about only ruin in the end…