The table went silent and Casper choked on his toast, dropping his bowl and spoon onto the floor. Both were, thankfully, missing the familiar dash of milk and the excessive mountain of cereal. It clattered and spilt, the bitten toast spinning on the marble and Hikaru had to body slam Casper to save his lungs.
It had Amber standing in concern, questions flushed into the drain at his lack of oxygen. But he managed to cough it out and she sat back down as he took long swigs of water, assuring everyone that he was fine. Another beat followed as he cleared his stressed-out throat as she stirred a spoon in her coffee, mixing sweet milk with bitter liquid that steadily kickstarted her brain into pleasant alert.
"So that's why she was mad," Sieon whispered from a corner, annoyingly bad at reading the room as always. "I was wondering why no one said anything. I was going to ask." His fingers twitched to her sides and she slapped them down, irritated that he was trying to make the topic less serious than it actually was.
"We all knew she was mad," Ezra whispered back, awfully talkative that morning. "But she was trying so hard to not be mad, so I didn't say anything."
The metal spoon in her cup clanked a little loudly against the glass and they both shut the fuck up immediately. Damn it, she knew she was a bad actress. They didn't have to rub it in. Hard. The only thing they should be rubbing was her fucking c—
"That was when we were kids!" Casper proclaimed quickly, his voice so loud that it was peaked with a crack at the end. He coughed, clearing his throat, wet with his nerves and near-death experience. "It was some kind of offhand remark that I would end up with her if we were both Lonely, but that can't happen. We're cousins."
"Even twice removed?" She squinted at him, radar desperately detecting any signs of a lie. She wasn't serious about her accusations, and honestly Amber knew him enough to know the truth. But with the word out and his actions strangely reminiscent of tv drama, she was starting to reconsider her trust.
Just a little.
"I'm pretty sure that means we're still mildly related by blood," Casper made a face, nose scrunched, tongue out and eyes absolutely fucking disgusted. "Anyway, I used to hate her gut, she was the sort of kid to steal my lucky money and sweets." He went to her then, drawing her close, arms crushing her body to his like a slug to a warm body. Clean, frosty scent encompassing her in its furnace-like heat. It drew her in, calming her frazzled mind momentarily.
"I'm not cheating on you with my cousin," he stated crisply.
He held her tighter and refusing to let go as he mumbled his words against her neck. They were starting a thing where arguments had to be solved with a body part stuck to the arguer. It did work, ending tons of petty arguments in their household, with Amber's mostly resolved with angry confessions during sex.
"My dick doesn't go anywhere except my own hand." He growled those words out, low and course as his eyes hardened tight into convincing steel. He seemed to grow as he spoke, his head cocked as their eyes locked. His gaze a drilling burn of fire through her soul, digging straight into her fragile heart. It thundered in her chest as her body burned with awareness.
Her lips quirked.
"I can vouch for that," Oliver chimed in, panicky and awfully bright. "I heard him use his hand." Casper flushed at his words, cheeks turning a violent red as he stared, horrified at his best friend. It broke the spell of confident dominance, pushing Casper far towards the territory of an embarrassed, clumsy giant. Ouch.
"I've seen it!" Sieon raised his hand. "He's always in the studio or the office, didn't lock his door once." Casper's expression grew scandalized when Sieon winked at him, gun fingers up. "Sexy piercings bro." They all returned to stare at her as if they were waiting for some kind of explosion. She couldn't help the bubble of laughter that seeped from her throat, but even that was a sad bark.
"I don't think Casper's cheating on me." She let out a snort, raising her hand in surrender as she looked at the room. She took his hand, then let out a long defeated sigh that felt as if it held all the pressure that weighed her soul. "Claudia. She's the girl." She glanced at Casper, meeting his eyes with careful poise. But her lips trembled, and her shoulders began to shake. "Your grandmother confirmed her involvement. They were the ones who covered the evidence."
His brows furrowed, eyes spinning as they darted over her face looking for a clue to her words. There was another confused, pregnant pause as she struggled to speak through panicky gasps of air. She couldn't look at MinJae as she stood carefully, freeing herself briefly from Casper's sticky hold.
It was difficult with the feelings crushing her lungs into smithereens, and the emotions that she thought had full control on grew wild with abandonment. The thoughts that stayed hidden for so long burst forth in a rapid tornado that sliced her insides into bits. It filled her, expanded and then exploded.
A wildfire that burned her body and pushed her to move.
She stood, gestured to her head for a moment and then ripped the lilacs from her hair with a harsh snap of her wrist. MinJae's gasp was barely audible in the silence, the trembling growled out curses were whispery from her lips as she shakily crushed the flowers and dropped them to the table.
They didn't vanish, the flowers, and the broken petals and crushed stalk seemed to jolt their brains into understanding. The action said everything she needed to say as she fell weakly into Casper's arms, crumpling as she clung to him in a small ball of exhaustion.
She could no longer hold on to the need to be unselfish and so the tears began to fall down her cheeks as Casper's arms tightened around her, holding her close as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder, desperate for the comforting drug. They processed it, she could feel it in the air as their emotions morphed and bubbled.
Confusion, shock and then rage.
Hikaru was by her side in an instant, a tissue out to wipe the tears. Sieon's hand stroking her hair, Casper's on her back. She sniffled, feeling young and small again as they soothed and hushed her. Her emotions confused her, her tears even more so. But she knew they came from a place of great fear and anxiety, and those feelings now spilt down her cheeks, water through a pipe.
Her head was pressed against Casper's shoulder, tears soaking his clothes. The silent shuffle of feet was momentary, and she knew her soulmates were exchanging rapid glances, messages and silent words.
"We're firing her." MinJae's voice was the coldest she'd ever heard, colder than it had been when he'd first met her in the room. It dripped with the icy pits of bottomless hell, a monotonous snarl that threatened murder. "We are getting her out of our fucking lives."
"Let's fucking post it online, she can take us to fucking court we have the fucking evidence." Ezra's voice was a cruel snarl that ripped through the delicate threads in the room. "We did this with one bitch. We can do it again!" The ones that held her soulmates silent as they assessed her emotional capacity for more. And now they were all angry, vibrating with emotions as they stood.
"I'm calling the police," JieMi snarled, stomping about the room in circles. "I'm calling the police!"
She glanced back at them, alarmed when they began to work, heads bowed over their phones. Fingers tapping through their desperation to bring her the justice they thought she needed. Eyes darting angrily, and Hikaru waved a tissue to her nose, whispering for her to blow. She broke out of their concern, with a weak struggle.
"N-no, wait—" she blubbered out through the tears that couldn't seem to stop.
"How did we not know that you've been suffering alone, oh Momo, baby," Hikaru moaned through blinked back tears. His eyes quivering as he dabbed at her tears, brushing her hair back. Sieon's face was dreadfully pale when she tried to talk, her voice dragged with a dry sob that had her hiccuping painfully.
"I-I d-didn't want to cry—"
"You can cry…Don't feel bad about crying," Sieon whispered, then grew angry as his jaws tightened and his boxy smile snapped into a thin ragged line. "God, fuck don't feel bad for crying. Fuck we didn't realise we're fucking losers. Again. Oh, darling. My darling, so fucking strong." He groaned, wiping her sweat with his hand as he brushed his fingers through her hair.
Pain radiated through the room.
"I left you alone," Casper groaned, whimpering as he held her. "I left you alone there. I knew you weren't feeling good. I shouldn't have started this. I shouldn't have brought you there. Never again, never again."
He scooped her tighter into his arms and she knew then that in their heads they were beginning to wrap her into a tighter shell of protection. She burst out them from their hold, vigorously swiping at the tears. It was so damn easy to lose her strength with people she loved, so damn easy to cry at the sight of their love.
"F-Fuck—" she turned to the wall, walking a distance away to collect herself. Her men swayed, and she could hear their footsteps as they struggled to help, righteous and determined. She held out a hand, turning to look at them as she pinched her nose. "C-cant look at everyone without crying like a baby."
"You're our baby," Sieon informed her carefully, eyes wide as he observed her. "And you can be." She turned to look at them carefully when she was sure the tears had dried, bracing herself for more. They didn't come, thankfully and she glanced at them carefully.
They were all staring at her with a mix of emotions, sadness was visibly the winning emotion. The situation was just as surreal as it was in the past, and for a moment a strange sense of detachment made her heart warm, and her soul swelled at the visible love that pulsated from their very being.
"That makes me feel so much better," she scoffed a smile bubbling forth. It seemed to lighten the mood, her soulmates visibly relaxing the moment she smiled. She could get through this. Fuck bitches. Fuck the world. Then she straightened, taking out her phone with trembling hands. The script written from countless nights awake helped her through her words as she spoke.
"Look, I don't care what happens to her. To be honest, I've always wanted to let this situation go. I've forgiven her. Not for her sake, or your sake because of the tour. But, for me."
She smiled, the tears now dry although her voice wavered.
"I don't want to struggle just for justice. I don't care if she never gets caught and jailed because of corruption. I don't give a fuck about my revenge because fuck it. Thinking about her has only ever made me sad. And I don't want to be sad anymore." Then she threw back her head and let out a loud bark of laughter, that sounded too sad to be happy. Her eyes watered. "I just don't want to get hurt anymore."
She smiled.
"I will be happier."
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