Amber could picture the situation. The eight of them dancing about a pile of dog shit, circling it on their tippy toes. Every time Sieon opened his mouth, they were dragged closer and closer to the pile of shit.
She needed to stop him. Stop him now! She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. It was as if a noose were placed over her neck and with their every word, the rope tightened drawing her closer and closer to what felt like death. She didn't know what she could say.
"Yeah? What about it?" Sieon glanced back, his expression dropping back into that stormy moodiness he was famous for. His eyes were dark with his annoyance as he glanced at the older male, his brows furrowed in confusion.
"But...How can that be? I—" Hikaru's voice shook as he spoke.
His eyes finally darted to hers, the questions spilling from his brown pupils. His wide, pretty eyes, glittered with his questions. Please. Those eyes screamed. Please tell me what he means. Please tell me what he's saying. Please let this be false. He swallowed, his lips pursed. What is going on? She didn't know what to say and her mouth opened and closed. A voiceless fish and it was a clear sign of her guilt.
She was never a good liar and those who knew her could read her expressions like an open book.
"Why can't it be?" Sieon asked, his nose twitching with his frustration.
Despite how dense he could be in some situations, she knew that at this point he could definitely feel the tension in the air and it was affecting him, forcing him to be on his guard.
It left him confused, his words escaped his lips, snappish and angry. They cut into the air, pounding against Hikaru, demanding him to continue. Sieon believed they were against their relationship, believed that they were attacking her because of him.
He got it all fucking wrong.
"She's not—she's not available," Hikaru tried to say.
He didn't know what to say. She knew that and he struggled because he wanted her to step in. He wanted her to speak on his behalf, wanted her to fill in the gaps so that he didn't have to explain everything. But she didn't, not even when he gave her plenty of openings to enter. She bit her lips so hard that she tasted blood. It was a taste of bitter rust that spilt over her tongue and her stomach lurched once again.
"What? Why would you say that?" Sieon asked, outraged.
"It's just...I'm—"
"Look, are you disagreeing with our relationship?" Sieon asked. "I know what I'm doing." He snapped, his baritone voice thick with his threat.
He was angry, bristling, confused at the situation. He didn't know why there was so much tension, didn't know why the other men were reacting this way and he had no choice but to show his teeth at them. Maybe he believed that they didn't like her or maybe he already knew. Maybe, he could see something was wrong but just didn't want to believe in his gut feeling.
"I won't risk our job. I'm serious with her, more than serious. I-I don't just like her. I-I..."
Sieon's words cut her, each one a stab into her chest.
"No, no. Sieon, she's my—my—"
"Why did you fucking do this?" Ezra's voice sliced through their arguments, like a knife through butter.
His raspy voice was loud in the room and it was the stark change and sharpness that forced the two men to shut up and listen. It was an arrow that flew through the air, stabbing into her chest and tearing into her flesh.
His tone scared her. It scared her more than ever and for a very brief moment, Amber didn't realise that he was addressing her until her eyes darted to his nervously. She saw that he was staring at her. Somehow she found her voice with his question. Her automatic reaction was to deny.
"I—"
He didn't even let her continue because his words spilt from his lips in a rush of hot fiery heat. "Exactly how fucking long did you plan to play this game?" He snapped.
His voice was a husky growl of words that curled over his tongue, too fast to be normal but not fast enough for her to miss the question. His shoulders were stiff as he stared at her head-on, his muscles coiled tightly as he watched her with a guarded expression. His face was clamped into a look of cold, unbothered boredom but she knew how affected he was by her from the tic in his jaws.
"What game?" She echoed.
It was probably the most stupid thing she could say that night because Ezra snorted and he laughed. She watched stunned in a stupor at the sight of her Ezra, her silent and sometimes 'emotionless' Ezra, openly showing his emotions.
He laughed and he laughed. The sound vibrated across the room, barks of husky laughter that rang ominously in the room. In another situation, Amber would have found it sexy. But she heard the emptiness in the sound, the hollow barks of laughter. The anger within each laughter, the sorrow, the hatred, the depression.
The loneliness.
The defeat.
Amber was okay with the hatred that roared in his eyes, okay with the disgust that crawled over his lips. She didn't mind if he looked at her as if she were a murderer who had killed a thousand babies. She didn't mind if he looked at her as if she were a pile of dog shit on the ground.
What hurt her the most was that little break in his mask, that rawness in his voice as he laughed. His eyes wild with his disbelief.
He broke just a little, his emotions flickering in his eyes and it was enough for her to know exactly how much she had hurt him. It was enough for her to know how much he was hurting.
The way the pain radiated from his eyes strong with the glistening of unshed tears. He had found out the truth on his own somehow and it was at that moment when Amber realised exactly how much she had royally screwed up. God. She wanted to turn back the clock so that she could do it all over again.
"You played with everyone's fucking feelings," Ezra hissed, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that burned in all the wrong ways.
His words were poison, poison that spread throughout the group and she could almost hear the cogs in each of their minds twisting. She could see it, the bonds of their love for her, fraying at the seams. They all spoke at once, their voices once a harmonious tune that brought her comfort was now a cacophony of sound.
"What do you mean, Ezra? What are you trying to say—"
Sieon.
"Do you know her? I don't understand—"
Hikaru.
"Hold on, wait a minute, let's not jump to conclusions—"
Casper.
"N-no," she stammered out through the voices, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. Her voice was raw, rough with her own emotions and it triumphed over their voices the way a female's voice would in a group of males. It stood alone in the crowd. "Let me explain—"
"Do you tell them the same thing you told me? A famous soulmate and no way to get to him?" Ezra snorted, shaking his head.
His voice was the loudest in the chatter. Each word was another sword in her heart. His disbelief was strong in his voice and she could hear his pain in the way it rang, rough in its quality with pitchy squeaks and cracks. Her heart twisted and ached in response.
"Or worse, you tell them that they're your soulmate?" Ezra let out a huff of air. "Is that your ploy? Your way into our fucking hearts?"
"No, no listen—"
"Is Hikaru even your soulmate?" Ezra demanded, his eyes flashing lightning and electricity. She sobered at his words, her body turning cold. He knew. Did Hikaru tell him? "Was it all a lie?"
"It—"
"What?" Sieon gaped, he was looking at her now. His eyes wide as his pupils trembled with his confusion. There was something about his expression that was off. The way he seemed almost angry despite his confusion as if he wished to correct him. "What is he saying?"
She whipped over to look at him. "I can explain."
"Amber, please tell me they're all lying, please," Hikaru pleaded and her eyes met his.
"I just—"
"She's lying," MinJae spoke, his voice silencing the rest of the team. "You've been tricked."
Something snapped within him and before anyone could stop MinJae he was walking towards her, his footsteps fast and angry. He stomped across the room and he stopped right before her. He towered over her, so close that she could see everything. The pores on his face, the scar on his cheek. The moles on his neck. He was beautiful, standing before her.
And it was her nightmares all over again.