Her eyes drifted down to the suitcase beside her. It was cold in the airport and somehow the cold ate at her heart, and there was a blizzard roaring deep within her soul.
"Yeah, I could spend my whole life here trying to get them to notice me, but you know me Miri." Amber sighed, shaking her head. "They've got big dreams. I've got big dreams." She drawled, a sad smirk on her lips. "If fate doesn't want us to happen, then so be it." She let the last bit escape her lips in an almost snarl.
Fuck you Fate. Fuck you.
"How can you give up so fast?" Miri glanced at her, alarmed. Amber's lips twitched.
"I have not given up," Amber replied with a soft sigh. She let out a bark of exasperated laughter. "I just have school babe." Amber shook her head and shrugged. "I can't just skip it forever."
Excuses.
A part of Amber just wanted to run away from her problems, run away from the concept of love and just not think about it. The incident with that fan made her realise exactly what she would be signing up for by being with them. She just wanted to rest, curl up with her parents and pretend that she was young and small again.
Another part of Amber, the one that was deep, deep inside, hidden by layers and layers of ice was angry. Angry that she was the one fighting for this instead of her seven soulmates. Seven men that she wished were the ones vying for her attention instead of the other way around.
If they had known about her before she did, she was sure they would be doing everything in their power to get to know her. Power that they had in the form of money, fame and connections. Things that she did not have and could not afford.
She was angry that without a soul bond, there was no way to convince them of her existence. It didn't help that they were famous and had fans that would probably say the same things she would say to try to convince them that she was their soulmate. It was like trying to speak to the gods.
Step 3: Physical touch is extremely important to speed up the process.
Amber knew it would not go well. She'd thought about her big reveal a thousand of times in thousands of ways. Each sounded more stupid than the next.
Hi! I'm your soulmate but I was violated, so I took pills that conveniently muted our soulmate status! Oh and I'm also soulmates to all seven of you. So if you would just hold my hand and let me stick to you 24/7, I'm sure you will see the soul bond one day!
There was no way they would believe her. It hurt that she knew and they didn't. Amber swallowed, inhaling slowly as she tried to will back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
Her best bet would be JieMi but getting to him proved to be harder than expected. With JieMi, she could just say 'Hey, remember when we had a body exchange? You were in my body and I was in yours? My BFF was slapping your face? Do you remember your Mom being beside you?'
That sounded a little awkward and Amber was pretty sure some of IDOL's fans had theorized that JieMi had a body exchange on stage. There was an analysis post trending on twitter critiquing her actions when she had been in JieMi's body. This meant that countless girls could be, right now, at this very moment, sending messages to AirSound Entertainment trying to convince them that they were the one.
With such a huge fan base, Amber was sure that IDOL had millions of thirsty fans interested in getting into their pants.
Step 4: Getting your soulmate to fall in love with you is the fastest way.
"I don't know," Amber sighed. This mess just made her head hurt, and the wound in her solar plexus throb. It just seemed so hard. "I can't bunk with you forever in Korea. I want to be an artist and I will, soulmate or not."
"Urgh. Fine, but come over during the break and apply for a soulmate VISA if you can't take it."
"I will."
She left at that note, giving Miri a big hug and a kiss on her cheek.
The flight home passed quickly. She spent the time reading up on soulmates and soul bonds. Her case wasn't rare, there were stories online of people who had consumed soul bond suppressants before meeting their soulmates. But none of them were in a polyamorous relationship and none of their soulmates were famous.
The answers to her questions on what to do commonly consisted of 'just befriend the person' or 'just tell the person and show them the medical document.' Amber had sighed at that and went back to research on the side effects of a soul bond suppressant.
Side effect 1: Pain of the soul, typically described as the feeling of heartbreak, but the magnitude varies from person to person.
When she stepped out of the arrival gate, the familiar sight of her mother and father sent tears running down her face and she was in their arms before she knew it. One big breakfast from McDonald's and two cups of coffee later, she was blurting out the entire story, teary-eyed and raspy-voiced.
"Don't worry about it dear, please. I'm sure it'll work out fine." Her mother soothed, gently rubbing her arm.
Her voice was heavy with an accent that resulted in exotic lilting tones in her pronunciation. Amber didn't know what accent her mother had. The woman spoke seven languages and three dialects. It resulted in a rather strange Asian accent that nobody could pinpoint.
Perhaps Teochew? The Southern Min dialect of China.
"As a soul bond researcher, I can promise you that soul bond suppressants do not mean that your soul bond will disappear forever." Her father nodded, his brows furrowing together as he tapped his hands against his deep, tanned olive skin. "The soul is a marvellous thing. It will try to find all kinds of ways to become whole."
Side effect 2: Fatigue and confusion
"What should I do?" Amber sighed, downing the last bit of her coffee. The caffeine barely did anything to her sleep-addled mind, and she remained bone-tired.
"Work on looking for Mrs Wang? We'll try to save up more money for you to go to Korea. We can't have Miri spending so much on you." Her mother said. "I'll take on a job in the meantime. Your father's income will not be enough for this."
"Mom, you don't have to. I'll work or something." Amber's eyes widened at her mother's words.
Soul bond researchers like her father did not earn much. It was a job that had a largely fluctuating pay. Their income was based on that division's achievements in research. Only if they discovered something new, patented it and sold it would they make thousands of dollars.
Her father's income wasn't a small sum. But in the country they resided in where housing prices could hit at about a million dollars on average. It was not enough to get by and they struggled to live comfortably.
Side effect 3: Depression
"Nonsense, I do intend to go back to the workforce and continue my work as a translator or a teacher for the languages I know." Her mother shrugged, brushing her fingers through her long jet black hair. "That'll be enough to cover the air tickets you will need."
Amber glanced at her mother, turning to look at her father in despair. She didn't want to rope her parents into this. While Amber wasn't that old, she was becoming concerned about her parent's retirement which she dreamed would be one filled with lots of relaxing vacations and zero concerns over money.
Amber would not forgive herself if they ended up having to scrimp and save for the rest of their lives because of her. While she had seven rich soulmates, with extremely high net worth, they had their own parents to think of and Amber did not know if they would ever be willing to pay for hers.
Besides, how much money did the company take from them? If the rumours online were true, some companies would take up to 60% of their idol's pay. They might not have enough.
"Dad..."
"Don't worry about it, kid. We always said we would support your dreams. We'll get you to where you want to go...On that note!" He smiled, his eyes warm with his concern. "I'm working on soul bond suppressants. If you have any questions you can ask me."
And she did. Amber bombarded her father with thousands of questions which he answered carefully and clearly. It was only when she needed to head to the toilet that she left her seat. Amber sighed, plonking down onto the toilet bowl to empty her bladder.
Her life had gotten a lot more confusing but Amber hoped that one day she could look back at this and laugh. She quickly flushed and washed her hands speedily, flicking her fingers towards the sink before heading out to her parents.
She sighed, pushing the door and stepping out.