The answer was no,
He had no wish for his love to recollect such a sad memory that it made her cry even when she not in the best of her senses.
He could only imagine what a difficult thing it would be for her to even remember,
But just before he could stop her from speaking, he heard her sweet voice which was a little raspy from all the crying she had done earlier.
''I asked you because I wanted to know whether you will leave me in the end.''
The moment Yang heard her say, this he held her arms quickly as he nearly yelled at her,
''Why would you even think about that Shi? Am I that unreliable in your eyes?
Why do you have so little faith in me that.... that I will leave you?
Listen to me well Zhang Shi I swear by my name... by my everything that I will never ever leave you even if you try to run away, I will follow you to the ends of the world and beg you to take me back,
I will never force you or do any to make you sad, and I will always try my best to make you happy.
And for better or for worse, you are stuck with me Shi...forever.''
Upon hearing Yang, Shi gave him a soft smile as she felt the sincerity in his words.
Sincerity in the way his eyes shook when he heard her, sincerity in the way he panicked and sincerity in the way he gently held her despite being angry at her.
In reality, she also wanted someone... someone she could call her own.
A special person just for herself,
She wanted a man who would call her after an argument not to say sorry or 'I love you' but to remind her that no matter how difficult things become, he won't leave her.
But then she was also afraid of the unknown and the endless line of 'What if's'.
'What if he left her after knowing the truth?'
'What if his love for her diminished?'
These were the questions which bugged her every moment she spends with him, for she somewhere felt guilty for not telling him.
But then she is also greedy,
Greedy for the love and concern he shoes for her,
Greedy for his eyes which seemed to only look at her.
Taking a deep breath, Shi decided to trust him, trust the sincerity she felt from him.
Looking him dead in the eyes, she told him one of her deepest secrets.
''Yang I wanted to tell you that...that I am not well...I can't sleep at night without medicines and drugs...I get nightmares till this day...''
The moment Shi finished, she closed her eyes or the fear of Yang's reaction.
One minute passed
Then two,
But the silence still continued.
Slowly opening her eyes, Shi looked at Yang, only to find him looking intently at her.
But for Shi, those eyes said something else.
Taking the silence as his answer, she got up from the sofa as she made her ways upstairs to her room,
But before she could take another step, she felt a pair of arms capturing her waist,
Turning back she saw Yang with a panicked face as he nervously asked her,
"Where are you going Shi?''
"To...to my room to pack my stuff...''
"WHY?"
Yang asked her anxiously,
"Because you...you don't want me anymore.."
Shi said as she held in her sobs.