It has been so long. Sorry that I keep it paused for so long. Anyway between the friendships that I have with her is already over ever since she wrote me that letter. I feeling okay now, but there are just many things in my mind that make me think a lot. Still, I didn't expect it to turn out this way. I felted so depressed and so many pressure. I just don't know what to do anymore. Yet, it's so hard to end my life, still, it's hard to live as will. I'm trying to balance the world that I thought would perfect, fortunately, I still behind everything. Comparing myself to others, I'm not even close to them. This has so many pressure and so many unknown things that might happen to you. Jeez, why is this so hush. It's driving me crazy. Today won't be that much, but thinking back to my past I felt lonely and felt like no one is helping me. I feel like my world is collapsing and there is nowhere I can run. Feeling so depressed, yet still survived. Mmm...can't tell what will happen to me next in the future. I may or may not have a good life, but that depends when the right time comes. 'Til next time, I supposed. I'm not a good writer but I am trying my best.