"The burden that you are carrying could not bring you anywhere but drags you where you began to carry it"
I started approaching Leonthan. I punched him on his leg, but he avoided me again. I tried his nape, but he stood up again. He tried to punch me, but I escaped and twisted his arm tightly when I caught him. I poured strength so that I could twist his arm and punch his stomach with my right elbow.
"I'll finish him off!" Trake attacks and a knife is aimed at Leonthan.
Leonthan just dodged Trake's blows and the pointed knife at him. Because of his avoidance, he backed away when I was about to commence at him. Why do you keep on avoiding our attacks? Did I hit him severely when I twisted his arm? He didn't even squirm in pain and there's no trace of reaction that I got him hurt badly. As he retreated, Trake continued to attack so he got hit in the side and neck.
Trake scoffed. "Is this all you've got? The audacity of you to urge a challenge!" Trake must have been provoking him.
I held on to my chest. My breath seems to catch when I saw Leonthan sitting up and panting. Trake was standing opposite him with the knife pointed downwards and ready to stab him at any moment. Leonthan's side of his stomach and neck are wounded. He also spat out blood and coughed.
"I might die right now," Leonthan said while catching his breath.
What is he saying? What's with all this challenge that he started off in Trake and me? What was all this for if he's just going to stop fighting for himself?
Even before he was finally stabbed, Trake gave him a beating first. I closed my eyes and prayed that Leonthan would not die from that. I sweat coldly every time I see Trake punch and kick him. I can't bear to see this. What are you doing, Leonthan? At least, defend yourself!
"Whaaa!"
"You're done!"
I opened my eyes and saw Leonthan standing up again and fighting back. He was already holding a knife? Wait! That's why he retreats and keeps on avoiding Trake's attack so that he can get back to his knife that he dropped when I kicked his hand. He's outsmarted us.
"Agh!"
I stared at the two when they were both standing and silent. It was pretty dark so I couldn't see the expressions on their faces. They are both panting and weary. Trake's knees gradually weakened, and he fell to the ground.
"Trake!" I called out to him.
I ran closer to him and laid his head on my thighs. His abdomen is bleeding. I can't help it but cry. My tears are dripping down his bloody cheek.
"I lose"
"N-No..."
"Sorry, Cy, I lost," I just kept sobbing. "Your promise to me, huh? Keep it. If you don't, I'll haunt you," he coughed. With this state of his, he still managed to crack a joke.
"How can you haunt me if I'm a ghost too?" And we laughed together. I never thought that I'll even ride his joke in this situation. Whenever I'm with Trake, the mood becomes light.
"Thank you for everything. It's a pity that I can't achieve my dreams. It ended terribly than I assumed it to be."
"What are you saying?"
"Let my family know even though I can't feel their warmth... Please tell them how much I love them," he said trying to leave a message for his family.
"No, don't be like that. You'll be the one to tell your family about that."
"You must live"
"Trake!"
Gone. I don't have a voice to shout anymore. All I could do is mentioned his name. I am also slowly running out of tears that I have shed earlier. I laid his head on the ground and prayed for his soul to rest in peace.
I stood up and faced the boy I now bear a distaste with. I bit my lower lip to hold myself back. I feel extremely frustrated to the point that my lower lip is bleeding. We just stared with our blank eyes devoid of emotion. I don't know if he feels anger, fear, joy, excitement, or what. But what I know for sure is I don't like this person.
I can feel the cool ocean breeze of this island under the silent yet deadly night. The noise of crickets and the dancing of the waves. The waving of the grass tickling my legs. The blowing of the wind that whispers to me. My skirt and hair floating in the air. The eyes of those I stare at are as white as the moon appearing to be innocent but as dark as the night is his conscience. I tightened the grip on my small knife.
"Let's finish this," I said.
He kicked me in the head. I bent down and punched him in the stomach. I was stunned when I remembered that I had a wound on my right hand, so I had to use my left one.
"Ah!"
I wasn't hit but my back wound seemed to open because of Zekiah's stab earlier. It hurts so bad I twitched while bearing it. I moved too much, and the wound opened. The cloth wrapped around my back wound came loose. This is bad because my opponent is still tough after all the attacks he received from his victims. He remains standing regardless of what Trake did to him. What trick does he have? I ran away from him to hide for a while.
"Running away?"
I ignored what he had to say. Insult or harass me, the important thing is that I can wrap the cloth around my back again properly. I ran so fast and entered the mansion. I went to the comfort room and immediately took off the cloth wrapped around my hand. I washed the cloth with clean water and wrapped it again. I took off my uniform blouse and removed the cloth wrapped around the back of my chest. I touched it and the wound is open. Ouch...
It's good that I have my bad wound located on my back so I can't see. Just imagining what my back wound looks like makes my hand tremble. I rinse the extra cloth we have in the comfort room and wipe my cold sweat. Please help me. Guide me in healing my wound, regain my strength, and fight Leonthan. I just closed my eyes for a bit.
"Where are you?"
I was horrified when I heard the creepy tone of Leonthan's voice. I immediately got dressed and felt as if he was just near the door of the comfort room. Now he's looking for me. How thirsty is he for my life? When I heard a faint footstep coming up, I got out of the comfort room and slowly closed the door. I sighed.
"There you are"
"What?" I shrieked when he startled me.
"Where have you been?"
Why is he here so fast?
"C-CR. You saw me. I-I just came out, didn't you?" I mocked him.
His eyebrows met. I can't look at him straight. I can clearly see his gentle face because it was bright inside the mansion. But his body is dirty from rain, blood, and blows after Trake beat him with punches.
"Do you think you can escape me?"
I shook my head bowed. I still have my knife with me. I have nothing to fear. As much as possible, I avoid my eyes from his because every time I see his brown eyes, I forget we are opponents. I can't believe that I still yearn for him because I got so worried when I thought he was dead. I want to talk to him, I want to laugh with him, I want to hear his life stories... I gulped and am stuck to the place where I stand.
"Look out!"
I turned my gaze to the one who had just spoken and was surprised when he ran towards me. W-What just happened? Why did he shout? I looked at him. His eyes— it's not like before. Blank, dark, and with murderous intent. Not like the eyes of a killer ... but... the eyes of the Leonthan that I have known.
He grabbed my head and hugged me. I can feel his wet and cold uniform, but I feel more and hear the speed of his heartbeat. I am so close to his chest and smelled the Leonthan that I once knew. He just hugged me tightly. I do not know why. I can't see anything else. I can't hear anything else. I can't smell anything else. I can't feel anything else. Nothing but Leonthan's arms, voice, scent, heartbeat, and warmth.
When he hugged me, there was a glimpse of hope. Hoping that he gets back to where he used to be, who he really is. It was as if the agony I was dealing with disappeared in an instant. I seem to have forgotten that we are still playing. I seem to have forgotten that we are opponents supposed to be killing each other.
Then I realized that I was lying down. It surprised me when he was on top of me and closing his eyes. I saw his forehead. It's bleeding! I rubbed his face and wiped his forehead wound with my hand. I observed my surroundings and the whole mansion had collapsed! It has no roof, and the walls are crumbling. The floor has cracks and there's blood.
"C-Can you stand up?" I knelt on the floor facing him. I asked him if he can manage to stand himself up so that I can treat his wounds. He is in a severe state. What happened here? Why did the mansion collapse?
I grabbed both of his arms to support him, but he nodded. "Ugh," he grunted.
"I'm sorry! Where does it hurt you?-ah!"
He put his head on my chest. The speed of my heartbeat is uncontrollable. I shuddered especially at what I thought was a possibility. I raised my head and... there was an iron bar in his back!
"Leonthan"
I touched his back, and it is warm and wet. I saw that my hand had red liquid. I sat up properly and checked his face.
"Leonthan!" my eyes are getting watery again.
"You're exaggerating," I was momentarily taken aback by what he said. He is stammering and coughing. "I'm not yet dying. I'm still alive, maybe in a couple of seconds," he said as he struggled against the ache and physical pain he is feeling.
"Why are you making a joke out of this?"
"Because of you"
I cried even more when I heard his true tone and voice speaking. "Why did you do that?"
"Now that I'm dying, maybe it's not bad to tell you the truth." I waited for him to speak again. "I killed them for you not to be killed. I know that you have trauma when it comes to violence that's why you can't kill."
"Why are you protecting me to this extent? This is too much to ask for, but you don't have to do anything of it."
"I already lost my family, and I won't allow losing you. This is the only way for you to live."
I must be dead. I should be gone now and died more than two days after our ceremony, but Leonthan sacrificed his prize in the first tri-games and risked his life to save mine.
"Why do you even have to pretend? You even sacrificed your life just to be able to participate in the second tri-games again." This has been bugging me. What's the need of doing that?
"For you to kill me. I want you to do it, but you can't. I became a villain to protect you."
My chest tightens. "Why are you talking like that?" I sobbed. I composed myself. I need to be strong. "Anyway, it's never too late. Wait for me here and I'll get what I can to treat your wounds. Or maybe Author will arrive soon. We can ask for help and-"
"I couldn't help it... I insulted and teased you. But believe me, I didn't mean it. I was envious of the two of you and you looked at me furiously." he continued. He's referring to Trake.
"This game is an awesome game. You get to play with different players. You get to know their purpose in winning the game. And you have a chance to save your loved ones, just as what I did."
He's reminiscing his first tri-games. All of his memories must have been fully recovered.
"No, no. You can still live. You got stabbed in the back. Author said, you will only die if you are stabbed in the chest so-"
"I struck myself with my knife"
Because of what he said I checked him and there was blood on the left side of the chest.
"Why did you do that?! No, we've got this. There's still hope, and you can be cured."
"Nah, this one's a different kind."
It took me seconds to realize what he meant. "Don't tell me?"
And he was just silent, meaning it's true. No! His knife is the one that contains poison among others! Just a simple scratch on the skin can kill you. So, that's why Zekiah and Trake died without being hit on their chests. And I have also learned that when the knife is big, it is dull but when it is small, it is sharp. He got the smallest knife. The sharpest and poisonous.
"Was it just an accident?" I questioned him.
"No, I purposely chose the knife with a poison, to simply kill others and myself."
"But how did you know it was poisonous?"
"I was the winner of the first tri-games and my memories came back, so I already memorized the outcomes of this last level." I am trying to absorb his statement. "By now, you must be aware of the whole truth."
My eyes widened when my memories are back. When Leonthan said that I now fully understood everything. This game is not the second tri-games… This is the third tri-games.
Why do I only now remember? That's the reason why I wrote a novel based on this tri-games. That's why it gave me an idea to write a novel about it because this is the second tri-games.
Leonthan was a player in the first tri-games, and he was also the first to win. He went back to the game and joined me in the game to save my life, that was the second tri-games. I won the second tri-games because he sacrificed his life like what he did for me tonight. Before I finally lost my memory for 60 days about the game, I wrote a novel so I wouldn't forget all the details about it. And before the 60 days ended, I burned my sketchpad— that's the thing I received from Author as a remembrance gift from the game. You have to destroy the gift you received from the game if you want to get back in the game, but you have to sacrifice the prize of 'time' that you've won in the game. My time travel started when I did the moving up ceremony and I played the second tri-games again but that was the third. I used 'wealth' so we got financially stable. I also used 'health' so mama and brother got better. And I used the 'time' to get back in the game and save Leonthan but... he in turn saved me.
"That guy, Trake and I knew during level 2 stage 2. And it was his plan to do these."
Wait, what? The two of them already knew that this is the third tri-games? I can't ask vocally because of what I heard.
"I had an intuition that you went back again to the game after the second one but ignored it. He confirmed it to me, and we were right. His memories of the second tri-games came back earlier than ours because it wasn't his core memory which comes back last."
"What plan?"
"He wants to keep this a secret from you until you win, but you have to know what kind of a person he is. He helped me keep alive at the mansion and plotted that I was dead. He planned for me to betray you and pulled off a show so that you can kill me. He also risked his life because he already knew that he lost the second tri-games and doesn't deserve to be in the third anymore. He accepted his fate of losing the game and let me do my thing."
I didn't notice that Trake was part of it. He pretended to hate Leonthan for me to hold a grudge against Leonthan and not hesitate to kill him.
"Actually, I heard you talking in the living area. That promise he asked you, the real meaning behind it is for you to accept the truth that this is now the third tri-games and to forgive yourself for not achieving what you hoped for."
He asked me to accept the risky decision that I've made when I went back to the earth after the second. And what's worse is that I failed to do my mission to protect them or even save at least one of them. The purpose of me returning to the second tri-games is to save them, if possible and I believed it is. Leonthan actually saved me in the second game. It has become useless for me to play again. I even harmed myself and joined the third game. I just wasted his effort and suffering. I should be the one to save them but... it all went fruitless. Trake, tell me, how can I forgive myself after all of this?
And so, the reason that the mansion collapsed is that the game is over. There was already a winner.
"Stop crying"
After Leonthan told me more, I didn't realize that he is smiling. I immediately wiped away my tears. "No, Author will come here for reinforcements. Let's just wait a bit. It'll show itself in no time." I am grasping for the hope that only Author could help us in our current state. The iconic hologram should appear by now.
"Please don't blame yourself. Everything happens for a reason. Live your life to the fullest, and I will be the happiest." He coughed.
I did win the second game and got the prize. I did live again. I did live on the nth planet. I did win the third game once again. But I can't be with the friends who gave it all to me. What's the use of all this? He's just making me cry more. You don't make me feel better. I don't deserve all of this.
"I hate you"
"Haha! The more you hate, the more you love," he even makes a joke out of it. He reminds me of Trake's puns.
I just avoided looking at him. He slowly sat up and hugged me even though he was in pain. My heart is pounding again.
"But please do remember, the burden that you are carrying would not bring you anywhere but drags you where you began to carry it."
I was struck by what he said. Burden. Yes, I have it. My resentments and anger towards my father. He knew about that. Maybe he knew I was traumatized when I saw someone gets hurt because he knew what I was going through. That's why he understands the meaning of my painting.
My oil painting of a woman is an indirect self-portrait. It was I who despite my gentle, and calm face, has hidden my true emotions. Anger, hatred, disgust. Leonthan saw the real me just by looking and interpreting that painting. Silence is the title because silence has the loudest emotions. It is something intangible and invisible but a powerful sentiment. One can't read the painting right away, but it puts a deep meaning.
"It may be a selfish thing to hold on to you, but I will never let go of you even if it kills me. But this will be my end so, letting you go is the last thing I would do... Heavien."
This is what the boy whispered in my dreams several times when my memories haven't been fully recollected. Same tone, same emphasis, and the same voice. Leonthan turned out to be the one who was saying those words. I am so happy when he called me by my name.
"Thank you," Two words came out of my trembling lips with puffy eyes.
There was just a tear dripping down my left eye. At the same time, the closing of the eyes of the boy shook my whole world and changed my destiny. I kissed his forehead and stroked his soft brown hair. I hugged him tightly. Even though there is no more life left, I said...
"I am so glad to have met you—not just as a co-player of this game but as a friend who holds you dear. I will never forget you even 60 days passed. I will lose my memory about the game but not the memories of you. Because of you, I met more friends from this game. I learned and discovered a lot of things about life. I will cherish it all until I grow old. As for your will, I will live to the fullest because of the second life you granted me in exchange for yours. Thank you for everything, Leonthan." I glanced at his innocent face. How peaceful he looks.
"Miss Heavien Cyre Luvitos, also known as Second, congratulations! You are the Triumphant of the third tri-games!" That's the voice of Author.
I looked for its hologram and saw that it was just beside me. We were in the middle of the living area where Author often shows up. I laid down Leonthan's lifeless body. I slowly wiped away my tears and tried to regain my courage.
"Author, I know I won't be able to receive a tri-prize from winning the third tri-games because I already won the second. I've used up the 'time' and I just went back to the game. But why are you still here? To congratulate me?"
"It is a sign of gratitude."
I smiled subtly at what Author said.
"As for your wit and valor, I congratulate you as the second and third winner of the second and third tri-games. You may now leave the nth planet and return to earth."
"Um, wait. Why is this game the same as the last?" I asked about why Leonthan had different games and players from first to second.
"The third tri-games is identical to the second unlike the first. It is a loop. When a winner wishes to replay tri-games with someone from the game who's already dead, the game style will remain the same with a new set of games, and new co-players. But if the one who got dragged from the previous tri-games has wished to go back with someone who's also already dead, it will exactly repeat the previous tri-games." I was left in awe. It was supposed to be a clue and advantage to me but I didn't grab it.
Author told me that I can now go back to earth. The so-called ex-planet when we were still playing. But now, it's over.
"What about the body of Leonthan and the others?"
"nth planet has its own cemetery for the players who reached 'game over'."
"What cemetery? Can I go there?"
"You will be given a chance to visit the nth planet's cemetery momentarily."
Good thing Author agreed but I was surprised when Leonthan's body that had just been lying next to me suddenly disappeared.
"Kindly proceed"
Suddenly, Author's hologram screen extended upwards as wide and as high as a door. I walked through that thing and am amazed at where I am now. I went back to the center of the galaxy, and I am now inside the glass capsule. I observed the surroundings and we're all here, the battle 24 with me. We were all inside of an individual glass capsule forming a big circle. They stood there looking like they were floating in the glass capsule, but eyes are closed, a bit pale, and... lifeless. Their faces are peaceful compared to how they died. They still wear a school uniform with a clean appearance and physique. Each capsule has labels of our number names and real names. There I see the lovely faces of Myriana and Rochevel. Brenille with his eyeglasses on. Trake still looks cool. I looked to the other side and saw the label, 'Eleventh' and 'Shaunrei Hortaia'. It made me sad when I read that. He's Leonthan's younger brother that I haven't even been within a long time during the game. I turned to my right side and saw Leonthan's body standing. Closed eyes, pale, and lifeless. It appears that he's just sleeping soundly in a serene place.
"Time is up. You need to leave this planet and go back to earth."
I can't do much but touch the glass capsule that separated the two of us. Everyone, I bid my farewell.
"By the way, I have another question." A sudden question came to my mind.
"What is it?"
"Since this is the third tri-games, means there will be next. How can one stop the tri-games from happening?" If there's a way that I can put a stop to this gruesome game that kills people, I would not hesitate to try. Yes, there are prizes that tempt you to play but the lives of 23 people cannot be compared to this.
"Good question. I'm glad you asked." I hope I could get a good answer from it. "As long as the nth planet exists, there's no way to stop tri-games from happening. After all, the nth planet solely lives because of the thoughts of the people on earth. What people think that's impossible on earth are made possible on the nth planet." That made me sad. "Actually, there's one way."
That put a smile on my face. "Tell me!"
"That is to cease the human existence"
"What do you mean?"
"Without people on earth, there'll be no thoughts and feelings, so does the nth planet and tri-games."
It made me feel worse. For me to stop the tri-games is to end the lives of people on earth. As long as there are emotions made by humanity, the nth planet continues to live on associated with the tri-games. We've been dragged here to play with no crystal-clear memories, so we were forced to play for the sake of living. After a few levels and stages that passed, we regain everything about our identity making us more motivated to win. This game is unfair to those who died early and weren't able to recover all of their memories that would drive them to fight more eagerly.
"You seem to be more friendly to me than the last tri-games, Author."
"An incentive for winning twice."
"I won't be meeting you again, Author. Thank you." This is my way of saying goodbye to Author and forcing a smile. It was not really a 'good' bye because a lot of bad things have happened here. I loathed Author too because of this survival game. But I willingly put myself again here to play one more time expecting to change its outcome. I'm trying to hold on to myself despite the bloody events. It was ironic to have said that to Author when in the first place it's this game that was the reason that we killed each other for the tri-prize. But the thing that I'm grateful for Author is that it has given me the second life that Leonthan wants me to have.
I suddenly disappeared into space, and I closed my eyes while crying. The surroundings lit up like the light when Leonthan and I touched his necklace and we found ourselves inside the game. I have mixed emotions that make me want to burst. Goodbye to all of you, battle 23. I
will never forget you. Thank you so much to all of us who worked and fought together.
I opened my eyes in case everything would return to a normal beginning.