It was a weird feeling. Felt kinda like floating in a pool of warm water that stung like a cold breeze. I couldn't look around, I tried, but I was stuck lookin forwards.
I ain't gonna lie, that shit was cool lookin. You know those videos people post on YouTube of how a wormhole would look?
It was just like that.
Course by this point I was cursin my buddy Hayden for droppin acid in my drink. Wouldn't be the first time he pulled some stupid shit like this.
Thing is, just when I thought I was just havin a bad trip and it's all end soon, that damned Monkey King popped up in front of me, grinning like a kid with a new toy.
"You're not hallucinating Jake. I'm giving you an adventure!" He then starting laughing again. I tried talkin back but, again, couldn't move.
I tell ya. I hate feelin helpless mor'n anything.
"Oh worry not Jake, you'll enjoy it! I won't leave you helpless." With that he pulled three hairs from the back of his head. Then he flicked his hand and a ring appeared. He touched the hairs to the ring and the hairs disappeared.
"There, you'll have three wishes. Use them well." He kept smilin while he did all that. I don't know why, maybe it's cause I'd seen all his movies, but that smile gave me the creeps.
"Hmmm..." Monkey King crouched down in front of me and scratched his head, lookin like he was thinkin bout somethin. "You're appearance should not be a problem, but the world you're from produces no Qi..."
All I could think was 'No shit, cause this ain't the movies.'
"*sigh*, I will just have to remake your body."
'You're gonna do what now?'
With that said, he smacked his forehead and opened his mouth. A little light came out, looked a lit up firefly. He flicked his finger and it flew at me. I panicked, but remember, I can't move.
The little light goes into my forehead. Next thing I know a bunch of images, sounds, feelings, symbols, and lights start dancin around in my head.
"There, now you've got some basic knowledge, a storage ring, and three wishes from yours truly. Last but not least-" a round fruit, looked like a peach, appeared in his hand, "a new body!"
He shoved the peach lookin thing into my forehead too. That warm water feeling went away, actually, I couldn't feel a damn thing. Between all that stuff dancin in my head and now this peachy thing dissolving into what seemed to be numb-tingly sensations, I got a bit overwhelmed.
I blacked out. Last thing I remember, was that fuckin Monkey giggling.
*************************************
"Hey Mister!"
"Hey!"
"Wake Up!"
Somethin's pokin me.
"Do you think he's dead?"
"I dunno, poke him again." Poked again.
"Ugh, wh-" I rubbed my face.
"Waaagghh! Zombie!" "Run!" "Get the Elder!"
"What the shit?" I looked around. Blue sky, fluffy clouds, sun peaking out from behind them. 'This ain't my bed...'
I sat up quick. Truly looking around, I caught sight of a few kids running towards some buildings while screaming. There were some mountains in the distance.
"Elder! Come quick! There's a dead guy chasing us!"
'Am I dead?' I looked down, except for some funny lookin clothes, I didn't appear to be rotting...
*wooossh*
I looked back towards the kids and caught site of something rising up from the village.
'What the fuck? Is that a person?'
As it got closer, it became clearer.
'Holy shit! That dude can fly!'
He landed next to the children and looked around all stern like with his hands up. Then he saw me and looked confused. He looked at the kids, then looked around again, and started walking towards me.
I tried to stand up, but my body was stiff, so I fell over. The guy started walking faster, still looking confused, but now also slightly concerned.
"Are you okay?" I looked up from the ground when he asked. That wasn't English. How did I know what he said?
"What?" Now I looked confused too. I finally managed to get standing. Then I noticed my headache.
Old dude was now about 3 meters away, looking me up and down like I was some sort of beast. Given his look, I looked at me too, checking my hands and then feeling my face.
No fangs, horns, claws or fur...
I crossed my arms and looked back at him.
Then I noticed he was looking behind me. So I looked behind me. Nothing.
"I'm... alright... where am I?" Since he wasn't talking I figured why not ask.
Apparently I startled him, cause he shook and took a step back before answering in a worried voice. "You're just outside of Ming Village."
I looked at him, looking at me, and again looked over my shoulder. Still nothing there. I raised an eyebrow and looked back at him.
"Is there something I'm not seeing, sir?" I was getting concerned now.
"Are you human?" He asked, raising his hands again. Is this dude crazy? Of course I'm human.
"As far as I know. Why?" This time I really was worried, did I miss something?
The guy didn't say anything this time, just looked at me like I was stupid. Then, condescendingly asked "Then was is that thing attached to you?"
Attached to me? I reached over my shoulder, nothing there. Then a though occurred to me. That fuckin Monkey said "new body", I grabbed my butt. Fuck. I have a tail...
I looked back at the other dude in horror, then ignored him.
"That fuckin Monkey! I've never done anything to that cocksucker and he just up and decides to snatch me up and drop me in the middle of fuckin no where without any explanation! I'm gonna fuckin kill his bitch ass soon as I see him again. A tail? A fuckin tail? The fuck am I gonna do with a goddamned tail!"