Eisen woke up in a dark area, he couldn't smell, see, or even breathe. But he felt calm, warm, comfortable. The three weird things he couldn't figure out was a massive thumping he heard that sounded like bass in a shitty highschooler made dubstep song. In fact he felt it more than heard it, 'So damn weird'.
The second thing he couldn't figure out were the weird noises he heard, a grumbling, buzzing, whoosing, sliding sound… He had never heard one of those sounds, let alone all of them.
The weirdest thing was the slickness he felt all over anytime he touched or bumped into something, especially himself. 'Wait a good God Damned second, warm, wet, weird noises, and a system that said New Life' I'm in a freaking womb!
No, no, no, please God, NO! I never murdered anyone, I never even thought about raping anyone, I didn't even steal from anyone unless you count candy from my grandma when I was 6 years old and surely that doesn't count. You Can't Put Me In a Damn Womb! I won't come out! I won't do it! I saw a birthing video once, the baby was covered in pee, blood, and feces. You can't make me, I'm staying here!
Maybe I'll get to see the system again! It surely owes me, it could've put me anywhere; literally anywhere else. But, NO, it put me in an infant that can barely move, can't talk, and can't even control it's excretions.'
During his rant Eisen felt himself being forced out of the womb and into the wild new yonder. 'So much fun he thought to himself. This is going to suck' Eisen didn't think of himself as a good person, he didn't think of himself as a bad person either. A saying his Grandfather was fond of saying would've wrapped up his thoughts about himself fairly well. "Sometimes you have two shitty options to pick from, so all you can do is make the least shitty choice and hope for the best" As he thought of this Eisen realized 'The least shitty option is to literally help myself come out'. He stopped fighting the pushing motion and let himself be brought into the new world, his new life.
"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Gin your child looks extremely healthy. Considering the difficult child birth and weird circumstances we'll have to run a few tests, and monitor the child over night. If everything checks out you should be cleared to go home tomorrow evening.
It is my understanding you didn't know the gender of the baby before hand. Do you need some time to think of a name or have you decided?" Mark looking at Lydia holding their child answered "We decided if it was a boy we'd name him Eisen. Are you sure everything will be ok?" "The child looks healthy, but as I'm sure you're aware live birth is very rare. We won't be 100% sure until we can run some tests.
Because it was a live birth we also won't know Eisen's aptitudes until he becomes old enough to participate in the standardized tests. Earliest expectations put that around 3 years old on average. We'll need to run tests as soon as possible to find and treat any trauma from the birth." The doctor said as he took Eisen back from Lydia.
*Mosaic System Initializing*
*36 hours until complete*
Eisen was exhausted, pissed, ecstatic, and just about everything else he could think of. He had escaped death but the cost was a live birthing process. The shame. 'Oh well, it could be worse. Is that my new motto? I think I like it could be better' It is exhausting being an infant, I think I need to sleep some.'
For the next 36 hours all Eisen could do was eat, sleep, and defaecate. At first it was embarrassing, he refuse to latch on to his mother Lydia's breast until they called a nurse in and could only cry as she man handled his mouth onto his mother's breast until he damn near drowned in milk. 'It may not be incest but damnit! I'll kill that nurse *rawr*' Of course it came out as a burp when he spit up what couldn't make it to his stomach before he needed to breathe again. He ultimately decided it was least embarrassing to just latch on himself.
'At least I have a system now, and it should help me out right? I mean Mosaic can mean tile art, but surely it means the rarely used exotic version right? I mean being a mason isn't better than my previous life at all. It might be worse even, if that's possible.'
*Ding*
*Mosaic System Online*
*Evaluation of Host: Eisen*
*Poor*
*Updating Stats: Processing*
[Name: Eisen]
[Race: Human]
[Gender: Male]
[Age: 1.5 days]
[Strength: .005]
[Speed: .002]
[Intelligence: 3]
[Skills: None]
[Points: 0]
*Updating Evaluation of Host*
*Infinitely Weak*
'Fuck you! You try being an infant and tell me you'll be better! This body can't even move! Look here…'
*System recommends host accomplishes missions as soon as possible, otherwise a mouse might kill host*