On my first day of school was pretty ok. I made a friend name Malaria. I think shes my friend, and now I am heading back home. After I bumped into my unknown the second time, I havent seen him afterwords. I looked all over the gym, library, and the cafeteria, but he was no where to be found. Whats wrong with me? Why do I want to see his identity so bad? I mean, he could be a bad guy or maybe a pervert. What the hell am I thinking!? Enough of this.
I have arrived to my home. I put my bookbag away and went to check on my mother. I walk to my mothers room and all I see is her smile.
"Hey mom, I just got back from my first day of school" I said as I put my fake smile on. She
doesnt say anything, shes just smiling.
"I came here to tell you that I will be going out to work. Somebody needs to take care of the
rents right?" I said as I faked laugh a little. She still didnt say anything, she just smiles.
"Well, I'm going to start my homework and find something to eat before I leave to work, ok?" I said and gave her a kiss on her forhead. I went running to my bedroom and bursted out my tears. I do this everyday. I dont want to see my mom laying down on her bed no more, smiling like nothing has happened to her. I'm just glad that she is taking care by my step father. I am fine with that. However, he trearts me like a dog, and I'm fine with that too. Its a punishment for myself, for not taking a better care of my own mother. I cried some more. I was out of my mind and begin to look for sharp things around my room. I grabbed my hair and I began to scream. I cried some more and more. My mom couldnt do anything about it. She is sick in bed, smiling all day. I can hear her pain saying "Please stop!". I know she wants to help me, but she is the one who needs help the most. I'm such a stupid coward. I continued crying and searching for a sharp object, untill I found a blade. I dont know why it would be in my room, but I found it. I had right on top of my wrist. I was going to cut my own peace of meat from my soft skin on my wrist. My heart was beating so fast. I could hear my own heartbeats. The blade was on my wrist. I can see it myself. I cried some more and holding the blade. And then I... I just couldnt do this to myself.
Once I stopped crying and finally calmed myself, I grabbed a snack to eat and went to take a shower. I was done refreshing myself, so I went to put on my uniform to go to work. I had to leave as soon as posible before the guy comes and beats me up. I called a cab to pick me up. I was relief I made it on time. I have finally arrived to the restaurant. I only do night shifts. I dont really earn alot of money. But its worth of payment. Later on at night, I came back from work and my step fauther was home. Why now!?
"Hey, welcome back" I didnt stare at him when I welcomed him, I was focusing on putting away my coat. I was afraid.
"Where have you been!?" he started scolding me.
"I've been out working. You know I have night shifs"
"Well hurry up, I'm starving to death, so cook something already" he said as he sits down on his sofa.
"I'm on my way" I said. To be honest, I'm glad he lives with me and mom. He takes care of her and gives her medicine's when its time to take them. I only allowed him to stay for that reason. He is a user to me, for taking care of my mom. He loves her very much, but not me. I dont care, as
long as my mom gets the help, I'll be happy.
Once I was finished cooking dinner for my step fauther, I was heading to go to my room, not until when he stopped me.
"Where do you think you're going?" he says with
food in his mouth.
"I'm going to bed now. I have school tomorrow" I was afraid. I was really afriad of him. I could of called the cops, I could of screamed, however... I was too late.
"Who said you can go to bed? Come here! and give me a goodnight kiss!" he yelled at me. That evil smirk on his face, I knew I was done for. I didnt want to get beaten up again, so I did as he said. I got closer to him. My hands started shaking. As I got closer, he droppd his fork on the plate and he pulled my arm. He was doing disgusting things to my body. I was silence, I was in pain, but all I could do was nothing but run these tears of mine. Just like a waterful. A very sad waterful. He doesnt deserve to be called as step father. My mom couldnt do anything about this, and who could blame her? She is ill with a smile. I bet she was dying inside, from hearing me screaming and crying. When will my life stop. When will I stop suffering. Mom... he is using my body, and I am here crying. When you get back mom, to this cruel world, I am sure... to forgive you.