SilentMild

Oh well this is the mark where you separate the true fans and the casuals. Congrats on reaching premium

See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon

It's nice seeing such great originals from time to time.
Honestly, I suck at writing these, I'm already way past my limitations. Any lo-140!

Some novels deserve a second review after we've read enough chapters to form a solid opinion on it, and Wargrounds deserves that attention. 

Aa I've said before, MMORPG stories are a dime a dozen here on WN, but SilentMild's story differs from the pack quite obviously because of the interesting way the story is progressing. Allow me to point them out:

The protaginist, Al, isn't your typical can-do-all character, even with his all-powerful A.I. He's genuinely trying to better himself. If he had one glaring flaw, it's his inability to seal the deal with his love interest. 

The supporting characters are equally interesting. For example, Poppabear starts out as your 'Leeroy Jenkins' in the starting chapters but grows as a team player in the latter chapters  even though he still retains his crazy charge tendencies. The other characters, Sophia, Osho, Solomon, Patric, etc aren't flat characters who conform to just one typical stereotype. Also, there are interesting people like Cyber Husky out there. Lol

The writing improves dramatically over the course of 50+ chapters, and you can clearly see the author's genuine desire to provide quality content to his readers because he is trying to improve his work constantly. I've nagged him tons in the first few chapters on proper grammar and he's been diligently editing it to make the writing smoother. 

The world of Wargrounds so far is interesting too, changing from a Fortnite style game to an openworld reminiscent of WOW. Visually simple yet interesting enough to want to read about. And i hear there's going to be a _______ type competition in the future!

If I have one complaint, it's that I don't see an actual villian in the story other than the Y__________ but there doesn't seem to be a connection to our protagonist... 

Well done on this work and I really hope you keep it up, Author! I'm rooting for you.

Okay, you asked for a critique on the forums yesterday, so here goes:
(I know I said I would do comments but...eh, have this instead)

1. If you started publishing this from chapter 12, it would have made a better start for a webnovel.

Why? Immediate gratification.
A reader of an online novel does not buy a whole book, but checks a couple of chapters to see if the story is readable. If not, the novel is discarded.

At first glance, the MC of this novel is an eighteen year old acting like a spoiled five year old. That's fine. Everyone has experienced being young and dumb at eighteen. A bad personality at the start doesn't matter if you're going the character development route.

However, the initial impression of the MC is too unlikable in this case. An online novel has to hook the reader within the first 1000 words. In that thousand words, you have to show that the MC has traits that would attract readers to continue to the next chapter and then the next.

Another note -- every System novel with a super-interactive System containing a sapient AI has two main characters: the System and the protagonist. That means you have to develop the System personality as well. 

That said, your SARS AI system has too much passive-aggressive troll in its bloodlines that it automatically pulls aggro. The killing intent it attracts from the average passer-by is devilish, my friend!

Not a bad thing, really. Honestly I think a lot of the potential of a trolling AI has been wasted in many novels.  But again as with the MC, the line is immediate gratification.

It took ten chapters for me to get into the story. That's too long to attract those filthy dilettantes with short attention spans (like me, hoho) that are  internet novel readers.

2. In the initial chapters, the major problem apart from the bad first impression is that the character has no stated goals other than the generic 'get to the top of the gamer heap' implication. That's the long-run goal. 

How about short-term goals? That's where the subplots come in. They make the worldbuilding and the character development a bit richer, the depth and flavor of the story a bit fuller. If you're going to write 500 chapters of just gamer activity, it's going to get dull.

You started building on a character development story in the first chapters, right?
What happened to that? Suddenly there was little character development that I could see. The MC suddenly was less irritating around chapter 20 or so, but no idea where that came from...

When making a character, some of the most important questions to ask are: What does the character desire? What will he lose if he does not get what he desires? What is he willing to lose to get what he wants?

The MC in the beginning shows an inferiority complex and covers it with bravado and anger issues. Nice start. Lots of emotion, and strong fundamentals. But then how to develop the person with those problems  into the endgame character, the powerful gamer at the top of the heap?

It suddenly felt, after the first ten chapters or so, that plot development ran rampant.

3. Another problem of the initial chapters, your worldbuilding came too late! Put some nice detail in the first 3000 words, yo!
It doesn't have to be dense or in-depth. In fact, it's better if it's not dense or in-depth.

For example, the beginning paragraphs of the chapter 'Real Life Techniques' should be situated nearer the start of the story. Why wait 60 chapters before giving readers a glimpse into why the game War Grounds is so popular that the MC would play it to the hilt?

The problem with in-game scenarios, it's a bit difficult to get into because well, it's a game. No matter what effort or emotion expended, it's still a game. So it calls only to a certain kind of reader. If in-game actions meaningfully connected to the MC's 'real' life in the beginning stages of the novel, it would draw larger viewership. 

Most people live with real-life being their only reality. A story in a setting  that is too close to real life but does not affect that hard reality will not move them.

This is why stories about RPGs where you can exchange in-game money for real-life cash are popular; because the game connects to and affects the outside world. Some novels do it by connecting in-game achievements with real-world perks and status, or by resolving real-world disputes with in-game contests, or things similar. It's also why those novels have a lot of exposition about game mechanics in the beginning chapters, blegh. Balance is key!!

By the way, I read somewhere that pro-gamers can get scholarships to college? Very cool. You can add that as an example of in-game to real-world connection too.

Recommendation: You know, if you wrote this in a fantasy/science-fiction world, people would be all over it.

4. The dark web isn't something that can just be accessed so easily with a single search. What, is it the hidden-not-hidden ***** shop over by the corner market or something?

Trading something like a System AI? At least have the best friend know a guy who knows a guy who could give him a single-use passcode on a website that disappears after the passcode expires. Otherwise, where's my thrill?

You could get a couple more subplots from just this if you wanted. Like for example the passcode was a trap by the police to catch illegal traders over the internet or the SARS AI was uploaded from a rogue government agent and meant for advanced military training or something. Imagine the trouble you could get your MC into.

4. Work on metaphors a bit. The phrase 'broke another ice' as a version of 'break the ice' is awkward. Maybe try 'made another attempt at breaking the ice' instead. Oh, and the first chapter third sentence 'It was a sore for the eyes'. I read that multiple times as 'it was a sight for sore eyes' which means an entirely different thing and wrote an entire paragraph on just that before reading it again and understood it meant 'eyesore' ahaha.  Just say 'it was an eyesore'. The simple things are the best. ;)

Things like 'knock knock' 'crash!' 'bang!' should be used sparingly or not used at all. Using sentences instead looks more professional, like 'a series of knocks sounded' 'something crashed loudly' 'the whole room jumped at the sudden bang of the door'.
Or alternatively, add a sentence or two to assist with impact. For example: 'Blast! The burst of energy pulsed more powerfully than he expected.'

Grammar and sentence structure good with only minor problems: spelling errors, use of its and it's. Be careful to maintain the same tense overall, you flip between past and present every now and then.

5. One thing, is the prevalent culture western or eastern based? It looks mostly western so even if I could find reason for a kid named Nisha Kagashi calling someone 'big brother' (though the name has a bit more Russian steppes flavor than Japanese or Chinese), a guy named Al Gentrix bowing multiple times in apology to a Sophia Hestias when both sides of the conversation don't have that cultural quirk in their respective traditions is aaawkward.

It's weirdly off-putting to mix cultures without reason, especially when the characters are not born into said culture, so eh, easy on the otaku tendencies dear author, haha!

Also, easy on the references. I read Sophia Hestias and imagine a slightly psychopathic crossbow-wielding shadow-user bullying the MC instead of being the love interest. ...wait, was that a reference in the first place? If not, forgive the results of too much lurking on the internet...


Overall, grammar and sentence structure are good. In my opinion you just need experience. Your scenes are full of action, very nice. The in-game fights are a bit long, but the detail and emotions are excellent. 
Remember to include downtime. Writing a story arc to a climax is like edging, it has high points and low points but every high point is higher than the one that came before.

It's a pretty good story. Go easy on the casual use of invectives though, even if in reality gamers can be more crass...internet readers may say a lot of things but so many of them can be offended by rude language, especially international readers. Besides, f**k and s**t and variations thereof are already so last decade. Come up with more creative insults, yo!

Keep on writing and reading, author, and don't be discouraged by the upsets of life. Writing is extremely valuable for inner peace cultivation! ;)

Taking a look at more media in the game genre can broaden your horizons, so don't just keep to a single form of media. I can only talk about things I've watched and read, so to you may I recommend the books 'Ender's Game' and 'Ender's Shadow' by Orson Scott Card, the 'Log Horizon' anime, and the 'Ready Player One' movie?

Keep on trucking, writer!

I’m not sure I’m being generous with the ratings but based on what I’ve read it’s a well deserved one.

While the concept of the story itself is not unique but the execution itself is noteworthy. Unlike most story of this genre where the MC got reincarnated back to the beginning of the game with their in game knowledge to exploit, the Mc here actually have to take a setback by having to start over albeit with a sassy and op system and a new hidden class.

While a lot of readers might be put off by the mc’s lack of op-ness I can totally feel the potential in his development in the future.

The world building is decent but it definitely needs a hit more lore to spice it up since at the moment the npc seems to be more of a backdrop rather than crucial figures in the game.

really good novel with an amizing idea and good writing, there are nearly no grammar mistakes, could think this was an chinese/japanese novel if i didn’t know it was an original, really good novel do recommend

So 3 things here:

1. Idk if I've been living under the rock but this is the first time I've heard about a video game novel ~ very interesting 👀
2. I love the character design esp Osho as I find him handsome mehe :3
3. Storyline is fun, looks promising! I'm enjoying every chapter! 

Love your work, Author! Keep it up, cheers! 🥂

Hello, Web Novel site, I am Mack Samson. I run a new blog called Weeb Revues that covers Japanese light novels and such. This review of War Grounds was requested by the author, SilentMild, on Facebook. I am going to give my first impressions of the web novel; 35 chapters at this time.

The premise of war grounds is a very strange twist to the usual MMO/isekai light novel. Our American(?) main character, Al Gentrix, has gotten his booty kicked on the VR battle royale game, War Grounds, due to it having a toxic playerbase that you'd expect from most MMOs. When he's just about to throw in the towel, he's told of an app called SARS that's supposed to help. Al installs it... and it basically turns Al into Kirito from SAO.

SARS grants Al an OP hidden class right out of the gate, and is able to take control of Al's character through autopilot. However, the major drawback to this is that Al's mind could get damaged from long periods of rapid inputs. SARS is also able to hack War Grounds' database and find all kinds of information, but it can only scan one area of the game at a time.

Al is a very greedy person. He literally plays War Grounds like a NEET as a coping mechanism for his father's death. This does lead to some spats with his mom, as you can expect. However, this aspect of Al's character doesn't get explored too much, at least not thus far. But hey, I don't mind because I just want to see MMO adventures. My fav, however, is SARS. He's a good boy, or rather, a good bot. If you love GlAdOs (is that how you spell it?) from Portal or AIDAN from The Illuminae Files, you'll love SARS. He's got some great deadpan sass that makes reading this web novel a pleasure. Other characters include Al's IRL friends Nisha and Sophie, who are also players in War Grounds (won't spoil who their avatars are, though). Al also befriends an orc named Papa Bear, but he seems to be kind of like that brash and annoying guy. 

The biggest appeal ends up being the story and world. War Grounds has a lot of thought put into as far as game modes and mechanics. It does get repetitive as the author lists every single game asset with its description every single time, however I don't mind because it accurately reflects how it would look in the game. Imagine if you were playing a complex JRPG and it only told you what stuff did after your first time seeing it! The ******* and momentum for action is also good. The only issue is that it's a bit skeletal. All the basic ideas are great, but there could be some more substance. I'm also a sucker for books written in the traditional format, as opposed to the one-line paragraph style that's also used in Reincarnated as a Sword.
~~~~~~
Verdict: 8/10

War Grounds is great so far. The story is more than sufficiently entertaining, it just needs some flesh. Writing is damn hard to do well, but writing the skeleton is quite possibly the hardest part. War Grounds is a great story from SilentMild!

Author really good job in describing the world. Also, the novel is well written, it makes me jealous. Your choice of words are amazing.

Keep up the good work and hope you gain more fans! 

This is the original work, but it's under repair. Please search for WAR GROUNDS (all caps) to find the free chapters. 

I'm afraid that this work will be beyond repair, so please pour out your support on the re-uploaded version. 



Story starts at Chapter 25 for now. We're just waiting for Chapters 1-24 to be deleted. I'll continue to write until we can stock good chapters and revert them back to free. Thanks for your patience!

Deserves the high ratings 
Very much enjoying the development of the MC - he does not start as OP but I feel as the story develops this will change. 

Like the world setting - would like a summary page where the author can capture all the skills, races etc
 

Would highly recommend reading and beg the author to release more please! 

Im at first 3 chapters, MCs mood swings are epic and  he really needs to fix those anger issues hr have. 😆 Anyway, lovin the choice of words just goes to show the author is good in this part. The introduction of the worlds background so far has improved compared to the last novel, at least its not as "packed up" as that one during the first chapters. Updates regularly which is haven for us readers. Also, author is very approachable and open for criticism. Sana all. (P.S. Very Handsome IRL) 😆 💕 

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Author has no dedication in finishing his novels dont bother reading. Been following him in some books yet most of it are quickly deleted.                            B b bb.                                            

great story and thank you for novel .                                                                                                       

Hey there. I've now dropped my review on your book to show well deserved support. I've been looking for an interesting book for a while.


You are amazing. 

well the overall story was so good indead im totally falling from chair table......
love it so nicely...........
akkakakaka
ajakakakaka
kakakakaka

Interesting MMORPG Novel! Not usual for a Novel Subject. Will continue reading this! This Novel is the type that will make you hooked up by the story. 

Agaxent  of symbianize                                                                                                                        

Stories about going into a game and conquering it are near and dear to my heart. It's why I thoroughly enjoyed the first few chapters of this novel. And I can't wait to keep reading more. I just paused to write this review. 

The writing is great with very, very few grammatical issues that don't break the flow of what's written down. 

The world inside the game is interesting and--just by the number of races and job classes--will no doubt contain plenty of fun characters to meet. 

Al's a decent character you'll want to follow because you want him to succeed. He's had a tragic thing happen to him and you feel like rooting for him to do well in the game. Obviously, SARS is my favorite character in this story. An AI with a 'tude' that really adds a freshness to the whole thing. 

I enjoy the story so far. Looking forward to more! 

War Grounds

Table of contents

Volume 1

Chapter 1 - HIATUS