Seeing the end of the topic, James subconsciously glances down at his fourth finger to rub his betrothal ring. It was an unconscious habit he had picked up. "I do have one personal question, if I may?"
"Go ahead."
"If in a few years' time, neither of us can break the betrothal, are you fine with marrying me?" James asked the question that had been on the back of his mind since he had heard the mention of his son's name on Rowan's lips.
"You aren't hideous beyond belief nor are you violent in any manner that I am aware of. Neither do you possess any worrisome faults such as being a gambler or whoremonger," Rowan folded her arms over her chest. "I could do far worse than a widower possessing a younger version of his body."
"Widower?" James sputtered.
Rowan merely arched her brow pointedly at him causing James to understand the meaning of her words.
"A widower, huh? I suppose that isn't far from the truth," James quietly murmured. With a tentative gleam in his eye, he says, "You don't think I can win Lily from Severus?"
"Do you want to?" Rowan sharply countered.
"No," James admitted out loud for the first time. "She wouldn't be my Lily."
"No, she wouldn't," Rowan soberly agreed. "Lily should be seen and appreciated for who she is, and not for the person whom she resembles."
"I know," James acknowledged with a semi-bitter expression. "It took me quite some time to come to terms with that painful fact, believe me. In the end, it wouldn't be fair to her nor my Lily."
Raising his hazel eyes to meet that of Rowan's, James solemnly says, "Are you truly fine marrying someone whose heart may always belong to another, Rowan?"
Pulling her gaze first, Rowan replies, "Truthfully, I can't say at this time. I don't know if I will be."
Nodding his head in understanding, James frankly confesses, "I do not know how our relationship will continue to progress, Rowan. I hope to remain friends, but I do not know if it will ever be possible for romantic feelings to grow between us."
Blinking in clear surprise, Rowan turns to gaze at James. Such a thing had truly never occurred to her. She felt a wave of embarrassment as the tip of her ears turned a tad pink.
"I don't mean to discomfort you, Rowan," James self-consciously rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "However, our marriage contract does require heirs, if we are ever to seek a divorce. We will have to lay with each other in order to complete the requirements."
Mortified Rowan doesn't immediately respond. It wasn't that she didn't know that. It's just that the future seemed so distant away. An impossibility in the face of all that may occur before then including death.
"Look," James set his wand down on his lap as he leaned forward. "I don't wish to be crass, but it is possible for physical intimacy to occur without love. I would like it to be good between us as much as reasonably possible. I would hate to hurt you as a result."
Feeling that her ears are burning, Rowan almost jumps up when James cautiously reaches out to lightly touch her hand. "I would like for us to become a bit more familiar with each other, Rowan, if that is alright. I would like it if we could grow to be honest and truthful with each other, but more importantly, trust each other. The foundation of any good relationship is trust."
"This does seem rather premature," Rowan sputtered drawing her hand out of James' grasp as if her hand had been scalded.
"I'm not about to kiss you nor pressure you into copulation, Rowan," James explained in exasperation. For the first time, he felt the clear difference in age between himself and Rowan. He was an experienced man, and she was a relatively inexperienced young woman.
"This is as awkward for me as it is for you, Rowan," James honestly admitted as he held Rowan's bewildered gaze. "However, I would like for us to become more acquainted with each other. I am not talking about so much as physical interaction, but as we have been doing all along."
Rowan is stiff and tense showing her uncertainty and discomfort at the subject. Yet much to her own surprise, she found that she had felt no true discomfort at being touched by James. She was startled and embarrassed, yes, but she was not uneasy at his touch.
Not sure what to make of her feelings, Rowan stiffly nods once at James confirming her uncertain willingness to his suggestion, before rapidly changing the subject. "Regardless, this will be a busy year. I would appreciate it if you would look after Severus and Sirius during Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. If you weren't aware already, the three of you scored high enough to be transferred directly to the 7th year N.E.W.T. level class."
James blinked in surprise, having yet to hear the noise. "I presume the source of the news is a reputable source?"
"Dumbledore and Headmaster Linnaeus," Rowan drily answered.
"I will gladly keep an eye on the two of them" James earnestly replied with a bit of a grin already imagining what antics Sirius would get up to. His grin falters and dims upon recollecting the current state of Sirius.
Seeing the abrupt change in James' demeanor, Rowan hesitates before tentatively reaching out to gently pat James' shoulder. "Sirius is healing and thriving, but he would not turn away the visit of a friend." She squeezed his shoulder in comfort and emphasis before rising to her feet. "If there is nothing else, I would like to retire to bed. It has been a long day."
James offered Rowan a sincere and rather sweet smile in gratitude causing Rowan for a moment to feel off-footed. Startled, she blinks her midnight indigo-colored eyes in surprise as she steps back. The moment passed and the earth returned to normal.
Befuddled by what had occurred, Rowan furrows her brow. Yet upon glancing back at James, she felt nothing. Convinced it must be tired, she shakes her head bemused at the strangeness of it all.
"No, there is nothing else to be said for now," James glanced up at the moon in the sky and saw how high the moon was in the sky. "Though I shall be writing to you far more frequently to keep in touch," he flashed her a cocky smile.
Rowan scrunched up her nose at him. "Arrogant tosser," she mumbled under her breath without any sting rather with mirth. "Fine, but there better not be any poems."
"Poems," James feigned being hurt, "you insult me, madame, for I am indeed a poet! My work will resound throughout the ages to come!"
A snort escapes from Rowan's lips as James also begins to chuckle. Sometimes it startled Rowan how easily she and James could fall into laughter in their friendship. She wasn't sure if it was because it was James or if this James overlapped with the memories of the old James.
Old sadness flashed through Rowan's eyes, yet she didn't turn away from James this time. Because whether she liked to admit it or not, she had become friends with the James in front of her. She didn't want to lose another good friend; she could not bear it again.
"Good night, James," Rowan softly said, before heading back to bed.
"Good night, Rowan," James softly called out with a bemused expression on his face.
James still didn't know what to make of his friendship with Rowan. He didn't know if it was because they were genuine friends or if the memories of his body recalled Rowan as such. It was a complicated mess, but one that he was too tired to continue to contemplate.
With that in mind, James retreated from the library and returned to his bedroom on the second floor. He didn't need to even read to fall asleep. He wasn't the only as did Rowan. In fact, all those residing inside of the Potter home that night slept peacefully until morning.