Failing to notice Lily's dazed expression, Severus comes to a stiff halt as Lily blinks out of her stupor as his onyx eyes search her emerald own. Feeling a touch of pain, Severus flashes her a thin smile and quietly asks, "Lily, how have you been doing?"
"Fine!" Lily blurted out and flushed even more in embarrassment. Why had she blurted that out? What was wrong with her? This was Sev! Ugh, she was supposed to be ready for this! She'd practiced with Willa and Mary all weekend including the prior evening in their dorm room!
"That's good to hear," Severus bittersweetly answered feeling his heart sink into his chest. Lily was just fine without him, and he was the idiot still mooning over her. He was so STUPID!
Severus's face goes blank as he struggles to hide his emotions and tries to feign a light-heartedness that he did not feel. "I was worried there for a bit for you and Lupin, but with the mentoring system in play a some of the load is off of us, Prefect's now."
"Yeah," Lily chimed in lamely and cursing herself for her blunder. GAHH! What was wrong with her!
Seeing Lily looking so apprehensive, Severus a little too forcefully says, "Don't worry, Lily. I'm not going to confess to you again."
"I wasn't thinking that!" Lily loudly said. "I mean, I-."
"It's fine, really, Lily," Severus bitterly replied. "There is no reason to become so very flustered."
"Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you can forget all about it," Severus quietly declared. "Pretend it never happened."
"Wait, that's not what I meant!" Lily piercingly shouted causing Severus to step back in surprise.
Flushing in embarrassment and with a bit of frustration, Lily lets out a loud huff. "You Slytherins always thinking you are so cunning, but if you would just bother to listen now and again, you'd realize you needn't have to!" She blustered, before sighing out loud with a determined expression on her face.
"Severus, first off, I am sorry," Lily honestly apologized out loud. "I was so in shock when you confessed to me, I just panicked and rejected your feelings for me. I didn't really think about your words until I went home and thought about your feelings."
Lily flushed a bit in embarrassment and guiltily glances up at him. "I'm sorry, I was such a coward, Sev, and I should have talked to you earlier, but I selfishly wanted everything to back the way it was. And when it didn't, I was forced to look at myself and I am ashamed to say, but I wasn't a very brave Gryffindor. I should have had the courage to make things right and instead, I waited and waited until it was nearly too late."
Lily's head drops and stares at her shoe that is fidgeting against the stone ground. "I understand if you don't want to forgive me, Sev, but I really am sorry because I was a bit of a bint."
Taking another deep breath, Lily raises her red face as her emerald eyes warily gaze up at Severus's onyx own. "And I, er, I like you," Lily lamely said as Severus stares at her with wide astonished eyes.
Lily flushes so bright that she is cherry tomato red. "I know that sounds thoughtless and even a lie after I turned you down," Lily babbled. "You probably think that I'm a fickle woman and that I'm toying with your emotions. But I'm not, I truely am not!"
"Ug, this sounds so bad," Lily said as she dropped her head back down in shame. "I thought we were just friends until I saw you back at Hogwarts. At first, I thought I was just missing you, and that would be the end of that. But I was asked out by boys and even James, but I could never enjoy my time with them, because I could only ever compare them to you. I guess, we'd been so friends so long that I didn't realize that our friendship had already begun to change even without your confession."
Lily lamely finishes and doesn't hear Severus say anything. Her heart plummets in her chest, but she refuses to cry here. She'd run back to the tower and cry there. That and she didn't want to guilt trip, Severus into anything he didn't want, she owed him that much.
Holding back her emotions, Lily dully keeps her head down and says, "I understand if you don't want anything further to do with me, but I thought that you at least deserved to know the truth. And for what it's worth, I am sorry, Severus." Her voice wobbled a bit at the last part, but she managed to keep her voice from wavering.
Lily sees a slender hand reach under her chin and gently tilts it upward. Her emerald eyes blink in confusion as she stares into Severus's onyx-colored eyes, before he hastily pulls his hand back as if scaled. The two of them gaze into each other eyes for a moment, before a genuine, small happy smile appears on Severus's face. The smile wilts a little as a deep furrow appears on his brow. In a hesitant voice, he asks, "You're not lying to appease me, are you, lils? You know that you don't have to do that, right?"
"I'm not lying!" Lily snapped at him. "I think you're ATTRACTIVE, okay!" Her already burning face flushes even darker feeling as through her face is on fire. By Helga's rear, what had she gone and said out loud! Now, Severus would only think she liked him only because of his looks! Blimey, why couldn't she bloody well keep her mouth shut! GAHHHH!!!!!
"So, you think I am attractive?" Severus asked with a teasing glint in his eyes causing Lily to feel as though her face was as bright as her fiery colored hair/
Lily opens and shuts her mouth, before in quivering voice saying, "Yes, but I like you, Severus. I don't care if you had lanky, greasy hair, or were buck toothed with freckles and webbed toes! That never mattered to me!"
Lily's voice grows stronger and more confident as she continues, "It's because you care about others, and more importantly you are kind. You have every reason to be bitter, cruel, or even arrogant, but you are not. And no, I know you are not perfect, you tend to scowl and frown more than smile, and have a rather snarky attitude, but that's simply you, and I wouldn't change that part of you for all the galleons in the world."
"Huh," Severus said a bit stupidly as two bright pinks spots appeared on his cheeks at the honest praise from his childhood friend. "Thank you," he dumbly replied causing him to flush in further embarrassment as he mentally kicked himself. Why had he said that? He was supposed to be all suave! Where did his brain cells get too?!
The two of them fall silent for a bit in contemplation before shyly peeking at each other. "Er, so, um, do you want to accompany me on the next Hogsmeade trip?" Lily shakily asked as she anxiously waited for Severus's answer.
"Yeah, I would like that," Severus genuinely answered with a small happy smile on his face.
"Great!" Lily said as her face noticeably brightened up. "So, can we sit together again during lunch and in our shared classes?" She expectantly asked with a hopeful smile.
"That would be great," Severus replied as the two fell into an easy chatter as they walked away to study. The tension between the two of them was gone and all that was left was newly awakened shyness towards each other. It was the signs of a budding romantic relationship that held the hints of something far more permanent.
Once the two had slipped away far enough, Rowan had a tiny smile of relief on her face. Those two had finally resolved their feelings between them. And though she felt just the tiniest hint of jealously, she was far more joyous at their relationship. Severus was with Lily and he would be happy.
Although a part of her did quietly wonder what would happen now if James and Lily weren't together?! She forcibly suppressed that train of thought and tried to concentrate on the positive outcome. Everything would be just fine in the end…... Probably…...