Lucas came into the house, and he found that she had cleaned and cooked supper. Olivia had set up the table and there was only one dish. It hurt Lucas that she didn't want to eat with him. Lucas sat down and he dished up some food for himself and ate.
When he was full, he took the dishes to the sink and he went to the living room where he saw her. She was asleep on the couch. Lucas went up to her and he looked down at her, the image popped up of her in the car and he felt repulsed.
He took a deep breath as he picked her up slowly and went with her to their room, he opened the covers and set her in. She stirred a bit, but she didn't wake up.
Lucas got into the bed and had a hard time sleeping, he would be filled with anger than sadness, but what mostly overtook him was hurt. Why didn't she seem like she cared? She had no hard time falling asleep, but he lay awake. He turned and looked at her and with no doubt, he loved her so much.
He looked at her while she slept, and he saw she had a mark right above her breasts and he felt a sharp stab in his heart. He could see a man touching her and he wanted to wake her up on the spot and confront her about the marks on her neck.
He finally fell asleep in anguish. When he woke up the next morning, he found that she was gone.
He went and took a shower and got dressed, he felt too weary to think about looking for her again. If she wanted to leave him, he would let her go. Why would he keep on looking for someone who didn't want to stay? If she preferred the way she was living so be it. Yet his heart clenched.
Lucas went downstairs and to his surprise, he found that she had cleaned and cooked. She had set up the table. She was sitting outside by the porch. He ate alone again. He noticed throughout the whole day Olivia didn't say anything, and she didn't eat.
When he came in at night-time after being at the art gallery, he saw the same thing again. Lucas went to the living and Olivia started when she saw him and looked down.
"So, your plan is to starve yourself and make me feel bad. Is that it?"
"No." Olivia replied in a small voice.
"Then why aren't you eating?"
"I don't deserve to eat." She replied.
"Even if you feel as if you don't, you eat so you can survive."
Olivia didn't reply,
"Was living with me that bad? Tell me Olivia. Did you miss your old life, of being a prostitute that much? Is that all you want to be?"
"I was always meant to be a prostitute." She said.
"I see, so you chose this occupation because you love doing it?"
"I didn't, I had no choice." Olivia said, and she swallowed a lump as she carried on. "You see, my father died when I was five. I barely remember him. My mom was struck with grief until a year later she met Lloyd who was my step-father, he also had a child who was nineteen his name was Gerald."
Olivia swallowed more as she carried on, "I was only six when Gerald came into my room and he..." Her voice cracked, "he took advantage of me. I remember the first time it happened there was so much blood, so much pain and he threatened to kill me if I told anyone."
Lucas felt as if his heart was going to break, "What happened then?"
"One day my mother walked into the room and I was relieved that Gerald was finally caught. Later that night my mother came into the room and she told me to not tell anyone what had happened. My own mother, Lucas."
Lucas had tears in his eyes, how could a mother have been so selfish and cruel that she didn't protect her own daughter. Lord she was young, no wonder she doesn't value the significance of sex.
Olivia regained her composure and she carried on, "I ran away at the age of fifteen because Gerald didn't stop, and there was nothing I could do about it. When I was walking down the street and looking for food, I met Reynold. He was way much older than me, even you. It was cold, and he said he would help me find a job, and I was desperate. After he gave me some food, I learned all man are the same because he raped me and said it was payment for the food, everything comes with a price that's what he said. After that, he didn't let me go and I had no choice other than to work for him. He made me do unspeakable things."
"What unspeakable things?"
"Things a man like you should never know."
"I am your husband, not just any man. You can share with me anything and still feel safe."
Olivia looked at his face, "You deserve better." As she looked down.
"No, I don't. If you knew how much I love you, Olivia."
Olivia shuddered, if he wanted to love her, she would let him. She would let him have whatever he wanted. Living with Lucas was way better and when he got bored of her, she wouldn't blame him and that's when she would leave his side.
Lucas looked at her and he saw that she was now trembling. He now understood why she didn't want to love him, every man she had known just used her. She hadn't even told him everything.He went up to her and he put his hands around her and hugged her.
Olivia clung onto to Lucas, she relaxed against him. He had come back for her and he didn't hurt nor ask a price. She would do all she can to make him happy. How was it possible that he had forgiven her so easily?
She looked up and into his eyes and he looked down at her and he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Olivia felt something open, he wasn't disgusted by her.
He smiled at her and she saw that his smile held no ill feelings and it actually reached his eyes and she leaned into his chest and she held onto him. Then she closed her eyes, feeling safe and something else that she didn't want to explore.
Lucas was more at ease and understanding to his wife, she didn't see sex as a significant thing because all her life people had used her body and she ended up not valuing much. He thanked the Lord for his wife opening up to him more, now he could understand more of her torment and struggle.
Lucas kissed her forehead.
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