"No... Wait... Don't go..." I almost cry as I struggle to shuffle to a chair. Everything aches, it's all sore, I want to lie down for a good month and not be disturbed at all in all that time. Inerish simply laughs at me without so much as popping a glance to see how I react. Thankfully, I can count on Liada to help me find a seat though I am not fond of being near her right now.
I've been against metal for far too long right now and she's in too much armour and the sad part is she doesn't have time to strip. So, I do my best to tolerate it while Inerish knows full well that her snugged-up body in that officer's uniform is better for me. Liada tries to offer me some physical comfort with strokes and even a hug but I ick my way out of them. The cushions on the chair will have to do.
"You really are an idiot, you know that?" Baltanthan remarks, looking away from the finally opened window.
"I climbed a mountain when we arrived at Thrurstradtur, you walked up the road." I wheeze in remembrance, knowing full well I clearly have awful judgment when it comes to travel. Admittedly sometimes monsters come flying by and cause trouble, but I can't be held accountable for that!
"So, what was it like?" Seigunfrei dares to ask and my head flops as well as it can in his direction.
"Not something I'd do again!" I answer with the joy of a child high on a crate of sweet, sweet sugar. Though, on the topic of energy, I really am feeling averse to anything magical right now. All that magic out there in the sky below the planet's shell, it's given me my fill of the stuff. No more, no more of it, for now, just this chair.
"You could've died..." Liada squeaks under her breath and I slowly nod, coming to terms with that.
"And I would've enjoyed every second before it." I want to laugh but I can't knowing what kind of face she has right now. I keep my joy in check and offer a weak, limp wrist. She takes it up and I have to put in my all just to give her one stroke of the thumb. Her grip goes away and she drags a chair closer, her eyes keeping an immediate view of me while I slip off my cloak and mask.
My jaw flexes almost like a yawn and I sigh blissfully, my eyes closing up for the moment. It felt like it lasted forever but I know it was only for what could've been only minutes or under an hour. And still, I am thoroughly shattered and perhaps at the worst time as well. I can't promise I'll be at my best, though, I will be at the level I need to look after the others.
Baltanthan and Liada at the very least, those two will be looked after. Seigunfrei can hold his own, at least, I hope he can, would've been a waste of five years having him be my second most common sparring partner. Yet, still, Inerish had her way with him back in the arena. I guess it just contextualises just how much Smiling Jhurack pushed me as an individual.
A deep breath escapes my nose and the two dominating people of my life come into view amidst the black screens of my eyelids. One with the most beautiful blue hair I will ever see, a smile that always made me do the same and a touch I can never move past. The other, is much the same, really, only when his lips curled, I was consumed by rage and the only touch he offered was the kiss of a blade. I was not strong enough to save her or beat him.
Jurghdak was the real villain, Jhurack was a byproduct of some twisted desires deep within him. It only stopped because I got to him in the way he cares the most about, I wrote a song that left him in tears. My suffering only mattered to him when it was in song. The dance partner I had only listened when it was laced into tune and string.
Yet, there's something sinister about all of this, at least, I feel like it is so. The agility and strength that kept me alive just now, the reason I am being depended on. All of this skill comes from Jhurack, that bastard taught me so finely. It disgusts me that I have something akin to respect for the man in me somewhere.
Gods give me the strength to stamp it out.
I once felt so weak even when I had all that power from magic. Seigunfrei put me into the ground as did many others, I was pushed around and threatened with death. I failed to save my home and Einervaene needed to save me from Salahma and for a while when I arrived in Jherikra, I needed Vapooliar. There are so many times when I have been too dependent on the protection of others, all the way back to that damn mountain that started this new life of mine.
And it's all seemingly ended, I can protect myself, I am the one who has to defend others now. That duty is mine to bear and I am capable of it because of my dance partner, the man I hate forevermore. Smiling Jhurack you detestable bastard, you evil thing, you damnation bound creature. Eat shit, and, thank you.
A claw clutches the feather that spawned it, my grip squeezes this divine power and I shake my head. I could find out where it came from and yet, I do not feel obligated to. Smiling Jhurack is gone and even if he did come back, the power he is attached to is no longer there. All this strength he had, it was the magic Thrurstradtur brought in for its own day-to-day activities.
Even during the day, he was always around, he was the city, his fooling of people like Inerish. How could anyone assume he was always there, right under their noses in such a blatant manner? Back when I was dead, Nosungril seemed omnipresent with his state of being, the air I breathed, it was all him. Smiling Jhurack is almost blasphemously comparable to that god, always there but never seen, not even by those equal in power.
I open my eyes and blink a couple of times, unsure of what to really think about my situation. Shifting up a little, I sluggishly spin my chair around and get a bad view of the world outside the glass. Nothing can really compare to what was out there, no view from in here will ever be the same. I'm just glad I don't have to put up with the cost of such a view.
Though, maybe, maybe one day, I'll be just like that dragon I saw or the many other creatures. In my element, nothing but the wind catching on my cloak while I soar high above the land without a care. Free as any bird and as undisputed as any of those flying reptiles I have a less-than-stellar history with. I owe Lari two things, really.
I have to keep my promise, no matter how much it pains me to do so and I have to learn to fly. She wanted to help me do so, it's only fair I finish what she started. I can be up there in the rainclouds, just like she always wanted to be. I'll be able to fly so high and then go splat into the mud with a smile on my face.
"For a first time that high, it's not as off-putting as my body makes it out to be..." I mutter, chittering comfortably as my cloak becomes a makeshift blanket for the moment. Though, sadly, I can't seem to quite get it to wrap around me fully. I have this strip of bandage still exposed down my front.
Settling my eyes a little, I note how the fibres in the bandages and my cloak seem to glow.