The Cat in Gloves catches no Mice.
Benjamin Franklin
Bobak sat back in his chair, still smiling.
"It's been what, over ten years?" he asked.
"At least that." I replied. Don't go there, I said to myself. "What in the three worlds are you doing here?"
"I was working," he answered wryly, taking a sip from his warm drink. "Now I am just waiting."
"Working? Care to share?"
He chuckled. "Why not? It was a dead end anyway. I was on a missing person case. You know the kind, employee disappears, money goes missing, suspicions abound. All my leads were pointing to here, but no sale. Been stewing here for days"
"So why are you still here? Why not just go home?"
He stared quietly into his drink. "One more job, I guess. I kinda need it."
I had heard of this, Finders addicted to the void. So enamoured with its pain that they would do anything to call it up again.
"Fred," I said cautiously, "you have to be careful. Too much of it will swallow your mind. Maybe you should just let this one go and take a break. Go home to Anna and the kids."
He put down his drink and turned to me slowly. He held up a hand before speaking.
"Ok, let me work this one out. I know you aren't after my case. Big payout or not, you aren't Gregson and won't be after my target. Unless, of course, you didn't know I was after the target. But even then, you would ask for my help instead of taking over. Knowing you the way I used to, you are... concerned about me! You are actually worried about me."
I was stunned. Not that he was right about not wanting his case, it was a very basic deduction after all. What shocked me that he was right about my concern. I felt something for him, a friendship, and sense of caring for his well-being. The thunder started in my ears, the rushing of the vortex in my heart. I hadn't believed that I could still feel something for another person.
He saw nothing of this.
"You know," he continued, "I have a confession to make. I never quite got that whole 'Void' thing. It never really came together for me. Gregson taught us to use something deep, some great pain from our past, d'you remember?"
He paused, turning back to his drink while the thunder and darkness continued to rage in my mind. 'Please stop' I thought desperately.
"Honestly," he continued quietly, still staring at his drink, "I could never find something painful enough I guess. I tried to use my parents' death, like you did, but it was weak. I mean, they were old, they had lived a good life, and honestly speaking, death was a kindness to them. I really couldn't feel cheated or hurt by it. I was actually kinda proud to be one of their kids. So yeah, that didn't work for me."
I wanted to scream at him, 'It didn't work for me either!' But I was paralyzed, afraid that even movement would send me over the edge into that pit of despair and fear that lay forever in the corners of my mind. Where was Darwin? I needed him to bring me back again, but he was nowhere to be seen.
"While I am being honest," he chuckled to himself, "I haven't really been Finding for years. I never had the talent. Oh, I still call myself a Finder, but that is just what I put on the shingle. I am actually a private investigator, or at least that is how I work. I followed all the clues that lead me here through good old detective work. Not like Gregson taught us, but using my brain and logic. Anna says she likes me better this way. Do you remember how she used to pull me out of the dorms to go out for walks? Of course you do, you were there!"
Memories of the academy started welling up from the center of the vortex, their siren call drawing me. I remembered the four of us laughing over some ridiculous thing. We were laughing about you, Fred, all four of us together. You never could tell a joke without over elaborating it. I could see Anna beside you, leaning on you shoulder with tears of laughter forming in her eyes, your face a study in bemused confusion. I could feel an hand on my arm and hear the free laughter of the voice of an angel beside me. I remember her... oh, god, please stop, I whispered in my mind, my desperation growing with each word.
"Anyhow, it was the clues that led me here. There were only so many spaceports she could get to given the time she had, and she couldn't use her chip, which narrowed it down to ports that allowed script. Since I was only getting a Finder's fee out this job, a big one, mind you, but still, my expenses were my own. I called Anna and we decided that I should take the risk. I spent pretty much everything we had to take the shuttle here. I was sure she would be here. You really can't hide once you are here, but no dice. So now I am stuck, no cash, no leads, no payday. That's why I am looking for work here, to pay my way home. I called Anna and she totally gets it. She's amazing, the way she sticks by me. She is going to love that I ran into you again. Hey! I got an idea!"
Don't! I pleaded silently.
"When I get back planetside..."
Oh, god, please stop! I couldn't move.
"And if you have some free time..."
My head was pounding, though my heart had stopped. Where was Darwin?
"Why don't the four of us get together for old times' sake. How is Joanie doing by the way? Is she here?" He looked around to see if he could spot her.
My world caved in on itself. My vision turned to blackness as I fell into the chasm in my heart. Blood and flames and tears. I was holding her in my arms after the passion of a summer night. I was holding her in my arms while her breath and blood flowed from her for the last time. She smiled in the sunlight as we talked in the park, the light dancing in my eyes. The flames of our burning home blinded me as I rushed through the front door to save her. Her laughter pealed like a bell, carrying joy and love to my ears. The laughter of a madman as he cackled, Can you Find her, Finder? Can you Find her, Finder? You found me Finder, now I Found you! I Found You! More laughter, insane laughter as the neighbors struggled to hold him down.
The vision swirled around me, surrounding me, isolating me from the world, the scenes replaying over and over in my mind.
"Josh, are you ok? You don't look good." Fred's voice echoed weakly, barely reaching me. "Did I say something?"
PLEASE STOP.
"Is Joanie OK?" he asked finally.
... darkness and silence. Alone at last, free from pain, from light, from everything. Just the whisper of memory. I was alone, utterly alone in this world. And in the darkness I strained to see Darwin, but he was not there. Just me.
And then there was Gregson, sitting crosslegged in front of me. There was a pale light was shining down upon us both. I looked down at my hands and they were covered with blood. I held them up to show him.
"I am sorry. I tried to save her. I failed. I should have saved her!" Tears were freely flowing down my face, my voice coming out between sobs.
He casually reached out and slapped my face. We were teacher and student once again.
"Say it again." He said quietly.
"Some things are in my control..." I chanted quietly. I was reciting the Litany of Control, straight from the Finder's Manual.
He slapped me. "Say it again!"
"Some things ARE in my control." I said more loudly, defiantly.
Again, the slap. "Say it all!"
"Some things are in my control!" Slap, Slap. "AND SOME ARE NOT!"
Hesitation. "Keep going."
"My opinion are in my control!
My pursuits are in my control.
My desires are in my control.
My aversions are in my control.
My actions are my own!"
He raised his hand again and swung. I steadied myself for the blow.
"My actions are my own, but my life is NOT!"
He paused mid-stroke.
"Correct." Then he continued the blow, sending my ears ringing.
Gregson was gone. There was only the taste of blood in my mouth but my hands were clean.
"I am my own Master, alone and invulnerable." The pounding in my head receded.
"I am free of emotion, strong and immovable." The yawning gulf within me swallowed my grief and was sated.
"I can see things as they truly are." I opened my eyes and all was still.
Bobak's face was frozen in a look of concern, the bartender halted in mid-pour. I scanned the room and could see the trails of cause and effect, solid and clear, leading in and out of the room, for each of the hundred people there. I could see them all, clearly, and I understood what I saw.
Where is Darwin? I asked once again. Then I saw his trail, faintly golden, weaving in a out of pots and tables and legs. It led from the stairs where we had entered and weaved around the room. He was hunting something, I could see that he was trailing a scent. The trail led back under the stairs into the darkened grand entrance.
In my frozen time view, disconnected from the push and pull of the human experience, I could take the time to analyze, to examine and to understand. I looked more carefully into the darkness of the grand entrance and could see Darwin suspended in the air, leaping towards a target, claws extended and fangs ready to bite.
I traced his trajectory forward and finally was able to distinguish his prey. It was a black gloved hand, holding a pistol. I could see the faint wisps of smoke trickling from the barrel, evidence that it had been fired. Following the angle of the gun, I tried to see which direction the projectiles were heading. I could not see the trail left by them, until I realized that they were likely masked by the projectiles themselves.
I refocused my vision and found them. Two flechettes, tiny deadly darts, were headed straight for us, and already about one third of the way here.
And I asked myself, "Why bother? Why react at all? Just sit here and let the flechette take you out and be done with it." But I already knew the answer. I had to do it for the past. Fred was my friend, and I couldn't let him die for me. And I had to do if for the present, because from my vantage, I could see that Darwin was already in mid-leap for the shooter's hand, and I had to protect him like he protected me. So I chose. I chose to live on with my pain, but more importantly live on for Darwin. I had no idea what the future held for us, but I had a partner that I couldn't let down.
I unceremoniously grabbed Bobak and threw us both to the floor as the action returned to real time. Voices started up again and the din of clinking glasses and shuffling chairs and feet reasserted itself on my senses.
Bobak hit the ground hard, unprepared for the fall, but I rolled into a crouch as the darts passed harmlessly above us. My vision was still clear, and I sprinted towards the grand entrance following the path laid before me. I wove around people and under trays of drinks, snaking my way to the darkened alcove at top speed. Even so, I heard the sound of a woman's scream and a cat's angry warning before I made it there.
The scene that greeted me would have been funny if it had not been so deadly serious. A masked figure dressed in black was leaning back against the wall cradling its right hand, trying to stop the blood that was seeping through the black glove. The uncovered eyes were watching Darwin warily.
Darwin, for his part was pacing back and forth, blocking the assailant's access to the weapon which had been dropped to ground, effectively cutting of the gunman's escape.
People were starting to gather, and several guns were drawn and pointing at us. I stayed very still so as not to incite any further violence. I was sure that Hotel security had been alerted and was on its way so I had to act fast.
"Well, Mr. Jones," I said to the masked figure, "Would you care to explain why you are trying to kill me?"