Some things she can let go, some things she cannot. She clearly understands where An Qi Lu's worry is coming from because all these years he had witnessed her pain and suffering. There are times when she felt guilty because ever since they met when tey were young, all he's ever done was to worry about her.
"You know that I'm always thankful that you are a part of my life. Your existence in my life could never be replaced by anything or anyone. I've gone through hell and during that time you held my hand tightly and never once let go."
She wanted for these words to reach him, to make him believe that he is not the same as before who doesn't care about her life or death.
