Truck God: "...and that makes another poor soul who I have forcibly reincarnated into a 'better' world via car accident. So tired... System, how's my progress with my last quest?"
System: "You have completed 999,999/1,000,000 forced soul transmigrations. Currently searching for last target. Upon completion, you will be granted God Class Change as well as ascendency to the Upper Gods Council."
Truck god: "Finally I see the light at the end of the tunnel! I've spent the past 10,000 years trying to evolve and ascend. Man I'm tired of being the Truck God. Although it's better than when I was the Horse God and having horses run people over, I think it's so much better to be the Lightning God. Who by the way, I hope that f***er fails his ascendancy so I can claim his spot. System, you found my last vict - soul?"
System: "Searching...searching...*ding*! Specimen found. Quest Time Limit: 50y. Failure: Death."
Truck God: "50y for one person? You sure I need that much time? Let me see who this person is. Ezra Armour, 22y, and works in Moonbucks Coffee. Let's get this over with. System, run the RTG."
System: "Initializing Random Truck Generator. *spinning...spinning...ding!* Host has been provided with a 2015 Jeep Wrangler. How does host wish to cause calamity?"
Truck God: "Let's go ahead and finish it up with the classic 'walking across the crosswalk and suddenly getting run over by a truck' scenario. Hit him when he yawns so that he'll learn in his next life to pay attention on the road. After all, the world is a dangerous place hehe."
System: "Confirmed. Executing scenario. Results pending...Execution complete. Mission failed."
Truck God: "Alright that's a wrap ... wait what?"
System: "Mission failed. Please try again. Time remaining : 49y 364d.
Not only did host fail to forcibly reincarnate target, an unexpected death has occurred. This has enabled a taxable event on the account and the penalty is loss of total reincarnated quest points.
Current Quest Progress: 999,989/1,000,000."
Truck God: "I lost 10 souls to my account?! How did the scenario even fail?"
System: "At the last second, a teenage girl pushed target out of the way and ended up taking permanent pavement in his stead."
Truck God: "Ok I'll just leave it as bad luck. Oh and send that teenage girl to Customer Support Goddess. Hopefully my track record will let her know that this was a one time thing. Don't want what happened to Fish God. How the hell do you almost drown a Fish God?" Forget it. System spin the RTG again and let's make it count this time."
System: "Affirmative. "Initializing Random Truck Generator. *spinning...spinning...ding!* Host has been provided with a 2014 Jeep Wrangler. How does host wish to cause calamity?"
Truck God: "Dude, seriously? It's almost the same damn car. You know what forget it. Let's have the teenage girl's father run him over on the sidewalk this time. Can't miss this time?"
System: "Confirmed. Executing scenario. Results pending...Execution complete. Mission failed."
Truck God: "Nyoooooooo! What happened this time? Shit, did I incur another penalty?"
System: "Host did not enable a taxable event. Minor injuries to non targets are not viewed as penalties. As for the failed execution, target tripped over his shoelaces 3 seconds before imminent crash."
Truck God: "Lucky son of a gun. Well I can deal with it as I'm not losing progress. System run RTG again and don't f***ing give me a Jeep Wrangler again!"
System: ...
3 months later.
Truck God: "...Can I skip him?"
System: "Negative."
Truck God: "5 failed attempts. Ahhh I've definitely killed too many innocents. Customer Support Goddess is going to kill me. System what's my progress"
System:
Current Quest Progress: 999,919/1,000,000
Time Remaining: 49y 8m 29d
"HOW THE HELL IS HE GETTING AWAY? WHO CAN BE THAT LUCKY? F*** THE RULES. I'M GOING TO THROW A TRAIN AT THIS F***ER! HURRY UP AND DIE FOR ME!"