Every memory played like a song in my head, repeating itself again and again.
"Seri." He says.
"Stop calling me, stop it." I shout. He was standing beside me or was he?
The pain surged over me with every expelled breath, reaching higher peaks. My lungs felt empty despite my long intakes of the damp air. Tears began to spill from her helpless eyes.
"You know I'll be back." he says.
"No, I know you won't, why are you making fake promises?" I say but my voice breaks because of my sobs.
I look at myself in the mirror. I open the tap and splash water on my face. I splash the water again. I splash it harder. I want to forget everything. I want to forget every bit of us.
In the water-drenched mirror, I see him. He was standing behind me.
"Why I am seeing you everywhere? Stop, could you?" I say.
My eyes were red. My forehead was burning. That wet dress was stuck to my skin. It had turned translucent at some parts. I open a drawer. I pick up the lotion and throw it on the floor. I throw everything from the drawer on the floor. I step back and lean on the wall.
My throat was burning. My voice box felt heavy. It felt like couldn't take any more pressure. My head was about to blast. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble. My stomach aches as I cry harder.
I move my hands to my hair where they remain for some time. I turn towards the wall.
I press my head against the wall... trembling. I can't-can't stop. Even as I press my hand against the wall it shakes, it trembles. I can't stop... I can't stop. Why can I not stop crying?
I turn again and look in the mirror. I bend closer to the mirror, all my body pressure on the marble slab. I look at the mess on the floor. The muddy footprints. Broken bottles. I start opening every drawer, searching like crazy. Not caring if anything fell or broke. Not minding to close it back. I pull a drawer so hard that it's hinges break and it falls on the floor. I look at the shelves. I pick it. I look at me being insane. My hair was already very messy. I take the scissors and chop my hair. The locks fall in the sink. Some locks fall on the floor. I cut some of them till my neck. Some of them till my chin. I didn't care if they were unequal. I look at the floor and then in the mirror. My eyes were swelled up. My hands were bruised. Blood coming out from the fresh wounds had turned the silver scissors red. The scissors slip from my hand and fall on the floor, I feel excruciating pain in my chest. I press my fist hard against my heart. I couldn't even identify where all I was feeling the pain.
The rain was crashing harder and harder on the windows. Clouds had become like buckets with holes. The wet dress was causing irritation on my skin.
As I move back, I step on a broken glass bottle, which cuts my feet. The tap water had now filled the sink completely and was dropping from the slab on the already slippery floor.
"Why me?" I say
I fall on the wet floor with a thump. The floor was cold. I look around me. I look at those glass chunks. I had made this mess. I am responsible for it.
If this is how my life is going to be, I don't want it anymore. A part of my brain was trying to calm me. But the part thinking about him was dominating. I have to get up. I can't do this. It's wrong to even think about this. What was I thinking? What is happening to me? I stop crying.
Slowly I try to get up but I quickly realize how futile I am when I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. Sharp pain lance through my head and colourful spots flash in front of my eyes, it felt like my whole body had been beaten and every movement caused some muscle or bone to ache. I grab a corner of the slab and try to pull myself up. I look at the glass pieces.
It would be easy if I end it now. It will take more strength to walk back from the endpoint where I am standing now.
"No Seri, you are being reckless." I hear him say. He was standing beside me and his eyes were as if he was feeling my pain. I ignore him and limp to the nearest glass piece. I hold on to it with my trembling hands. My heart was beating like it was going to break out from my ribcage.
This an easy way out, why can't I just do it? I just have to move it across my wrist.
I pull all my left energy. I bring it closer to my left wrist.
"Slit it." A voice in me says.
"No, you can't do that. No, don't slit it." He says kneeling beside me. I close my eyes. It was dark. I feel the edge of the cold glass on my left wrist. Finally, I can't feel anything. I can sleep.
"No, you can't do that." Min shouts. He runs towards her and pulls out the glass piece from her fingers.
"Seri, you can't do that. No." Tears start escaping his eyes. He feels their saline taste.
Her skin had sunken into a dep blue-tone, something so lifeless that it scared me just to look at her. His eyes close and he sucks himself into a deeper place to cope.
'Is she mad? How could she play with her life like that?' He thinks. He carefully moves to her trying not to trip on the slippery floor. He holds her hand to look at the wound. His body was panicking, his heart was beating like crazy. He nestles her in his arms and carefully walks to her room. He lays her on the bed. 'I can't take her to the hospital. She was trying to commit suicide, she'll be behind the bars.' He thinks.
'Come in quickly with the First aid kit.' He dials and cuts immediately after saying the words. As he touches her wrist a chill runs down his body. Her body temperature was dangerously low. Her body was losing heat faster than it was producing heat. Her blood vessels had constricted to reduce the heat dissipation from her body. The right amount of oxygen-rich blood was not getting circulated due to the narrow pathways. He was panicking inside. He runs another call and then starts moving around the room. He opens the cupboard and takes out a towel. As soon as he closes the cupboard door, he gets a little relieved to see Ji-hun. Hi-Hun was standing frozen at the room entrance. Seri's skin had turned the darkest shade of blue. Her lips were grey and there were cuts all around her arms and feet. What knocked the air out of his lungs was her wrist. Ji-hun takes out his phone but before he could dial anything Min snatches his phone.
"No, you can't call the police or ambulance. I called a doctor. For now, do as I say." Min says. Both of them were in cold-sweat.
"Trust me. I'll not let her die." Min says.
"Hypothermia led to Cyanosis. We have to reduce the constriction of her blood vessels. We need to increase her body temperature. We don"t have time. Help me, please" Min says. Ji-hun could see the fear in his eyes.
Min takes the First aid kit and keeps it over a towel on the wooden floor. He gets on his knees and sanitises his hands. He then wears the white rubber gloves. 'I can do this, I just have to trust myself.' He thinks.
He takes out the tweezers from the first-aid box and cleans them with an Antiseptic Spot. Using the tweezers, he carefully takes out the chunk of glass embedded in her wrist. As he keeps it on the towel, his hands start trembling as he sees blood gushing out. He takes a towel and rolls it and keeps it under her arm to elevate it. He puts a Gauze pad on it putting a little pressure. After a few seconds, he removes it. He inhales deeply as sees that the blood flow had slowed. He disinfects it with an antiseptic patch. After that, he takes out two Needle-less stitches. He carefully puts them on the cut and then covers it with a gaze pad. Ji-hun sees his sweat dripping as carefully seals each stitch. He then opens a new Gauze pad and puts it over the stitches. He uses the medical tape to fix the Gauze pad on the wound.
Ji-Hun lays a blanket on her.
"Massage her palm." Min says without looking at him. He then disinfects the other cuts. His eye falls on her dressing table. He picks up the Vaseline tube. He puts it on the minor cuts. He moves to her feet. He carefully repeats the same procedure. Ji-Hun looks at Min working without even blinking his eyes. After covering all the cuts, Min moves to Ji-hun and takes Seri's palm from him.
"Her clothes are drenched. Her body needs to be dry so that it can become warm." Min says rubbing Seri's palm. He looks up as hears the ruffling of feet.
"I'll take it from here." Dr.Oh says.
"Her clothes are in that cupboard," Min tells the nurse. She nods.
"You did well. Heat some towels in the microwave." Dr. Oh says. Without thinking twice, Min takes out the towels from her cupboard and starts walking out of the room. Ji-hun keeps staring at their uniform logo.
"Bring her medicine box. She probably keeps it downstairs." Dr.Oh says to Ji-hun.
"Is it safe to leave her like this? If Min called them, he must really trust them." He thinks and moves out of the room.
He moves down the stairs and starts looking around himself.