"Let's stay like this for a while."
"Hmm...", Zhou Yuexi answered and settled for a comfortable spot in her husband's embrace.
After a good few minutes of their sweet time, Zhou Yuexi broke the silence. "What's the matter? Why this all of a sudden?", she asked.
Zhang Yixing contemplated on what to answer because he wasn't sure himself of why he did what he did. He didn't want to say something he didn't mean to his wife but he also didn't want it to seem like his action didn't mean or hold anything.
In the end, he decided to tell the truth. "I suddenly felt like hugging you.", he said as he loosened his embrace and made Zhou Yuexi face him.
"I've been thinking about us... our marriage. Considering that it's only been two weeks, I like how things are going. And after knowing a little bit more about you from the past two weeks, I am more convinced, thankful and relieved that I married such a wonderful woman like you.", he said as he stared straight into his wife's eyes.
True to what he said, things really happened too fast for them. They met and got engaged in a week and then married in the next. All of it were all too sudden that they barely had time to adjust.
"Isn't that too much of a conclusion for knowing me only for two weeks? How do you know if I'm really as wonderful as you think I am?", Zhou Yuexi questioned staring right back at her husband.
Zhang Yixing smiled at his wife. "She really never fails to doubt her self worth.", he thought.
"You're right, it's a little too much to say. But don't I have the rest of our lives to prove whether my conclusion was right or wrong?", he reasoned. "But that doesn't really matter. What matters is how much more wonderful you will be in the future. And of course, I will be just right here by your side to support you through everything."
Zhou Yuexi liked the idea that Zhang Yixing hinted. She thought that it would be nice to go through everything together. That even though there may be or there will be problems in the future, she wouldn't be alone, Zhang Yixing would be right there to support her.
But as much as she liked the thought, she couldn't help but doubt whether Zhang Yixing was really serious or if he was just blurting out sweet nothings to make her feel nice.
Zhang Yixing who was staring at his wife's face noticed the ever slight change in her expression. "Why? What's wrong?", he asked.
Zhou Yuexi shook her head, indicating there was nothing wrong. "Nothing. I was just thinking about what you said, that you would be there to support me for the rest of my life.", she said.
"What about it?", Zhang Yixing patiently asked.
"I like it.", she answered with a smile that warmed Zhang Yixing's heart. "Actually, I was used to working on my own and I really find it irritating if someone meddles with my business. But now... It doesn't seem that bad. It's just that...", Zhou Yuexi trailed as she hesitated whether or not to tell her husband her worry.
"It's just that?", Zhang Yixing repeated, encouraging Zhou Yuexi to freely voice out her thoughts.
Zhou Yuexi sighed before continuing. "It's just that I don't think I'll be worthy of your support.", she said as she bit her lips and looked down.
She felt guilty over what she said but she doesn't know the exact reason why. It could be that she feels sorry for herself for always thinking that way or she feels sorry for her husband for being a burden. It could also be both.
She knew that she could be pretty pessimistic sometimes and doubt herself and she really wants to not be like that but sometimes she just can't help it.
Her husband, on the other hand, didn't know what to do with his wife. It was frustrating him how she always doubts herself when he can't find reasons why she should. However, that only made him want to be with her more. He wanted to help her be confident in herself as well in the feelings and thoughts of the people around her.
Zhang Yixing gently touched Zhou Yuexi's chin and raised her head to make her look at him. "Xiao Yuexi. Darling. You are worthy of my support. Everything you have and receive right now is because you're worth it. And even if you feel like you aren't, I'll never get tired of telling you. You deserve to be treated well darling, never forget that.", he said while looking intently at Zhou Yuexi's eyes, making sure she was getting every word he was saying.
When he saw that she was really paying attention, he continued. "Ever since I met you, I saw the world in a whole new perspective. I never thought I needed someone by my side but then you came and showed me just how wrong I was. My life before only revolved on my work, it was too boring. But now that you're in it, I can say that I enjoy every second of it. I'm so thankful that you were born in this world, met me and married me. You may not know just how wonderful and amazing you are but trust me darling, you're the best person I've ever met.", he reassured her.
Zhou Yuexi really is a great person. She has the looks, the brains, the talent, the wealth, everything that other people would die for. And to top it all, she stays humble despite of all the things she could boast of. The only thing is that she was too humble for her own good that she ends up doubting and questioning herself from time to time.
However, it wasn't all about her being nice and humble that she lacks self confidence. The greater contributor to her inferiority complex was her PTSD that she got when she was younger.
The extreme beration and degradation she got from her grandparents made deep wound in her young mind to which she suffers from until now. But compared to her then self, the Zhou Yuexi now has actually improved and has built a foundation of her self confidence. It took her years of therapies to help her get over the traumatic experience but none of it were able to fully heal her wounds from the past.
Meanwhile, Zhou Yuexi, who was listening intently listening to her husband's statement, suddenly teared up and shook uncontrollably. The reassurance that Zhang Yixing told her seem to have triggered her PTSD.
The harsh words her grandparents told her were deeply inculcated in her mind that she still remembers what they said up til now, 12 years later. The years of therapy she went through helped reduce the frequency of her attacks but when triggered, the effects could be a little strong.
"What's wrong darling? Why are you crying?", Zhang Yixing worriedly asked but Zhou Yuexi didn't answer him and just cried even more.
Zhang Yixing was starting to panick as he watched how his wife brokedown in front of him. It disturbed him how hard his wife was crying to the point that her whole body was shaking.
"Are you alright? Darling?", he asked again but all that Zhou Yuexi answered him with were sobs.
She was crying so hard that she was no longer in a conversational state. She wasn't aware of what was happening around her anymore. It was like she got trapped inside a bubble of her past, where all the hurtful memories were replaying in front of her vividly.
After a minute or two of trying to wake his wife up back to reality, but to no avail, Zhang Yixing tensed up even more.
To add more to his unease, Zhou Yuexi began to run out of breath from too much crying. Her breathing turned ragged but her tears didn't stop from falling and her sobs just became a little more louder.
Worried that his wife's situation would get even worse, Zhang Yixing called up Lu Han immediately as well as Dylan as he was staying just the floor below them.
As soon as Dylan heard that Zhou Yuexi was having an attack, he ran as fast as he could to get upstairs.
Lu Han, who was already on his way up the building got alarmed by his boss's panicked voice that he started getting nervous as well. He anxiously stared at the floor indicator and held his breath. The moment the elevator doors opened, he ran as fast as he could.
When he got there, he met with Dylan, who looks like he just woke up, at the door. When they got inside, Zhang Yixing was already carrying the weeping Zhang Yixing in his arms into the bedroom.
Just as Zhang Yixing was about to place his wife down on the bed, her cries suddenly stopped and she black out. But even so, the tears didn't stop from falling from her eyes.
"What happened?", Dylan asked as he checked up on his cousin.
Zhang Yixing told him exactly what happened earlier.
"Good thing, it wasn't that severe. She has attacks like this from time to time but whenever that happens, I hope not, immediately call a doctor. Things might get out of hand so make sure she receives medication as soon as possible. She has asthma and crying that hard is not good for her.", Dylan commented when he finished checking up on Zhou Yuexi.