I managed to calm down a little after that. But it was only a little while. The effects of the tranquilizers were fading the more they were being used. There were no binds this time...only a blanket.
It was quiet again. But soon I could hear the sound of gravel being moved. The footsteps were being dragged and heavy. The aura was intense and anxious with a bit of grey surrounding it.
This was Sakuya. She wasn't feeling well. In fact her mind was drifting. Her sword was upright like a cane as if she was expecting something. But the aura then starts to become tencer around her. It was as if her aura can sufficate you the more you look at it. But suddenly she unsheaths her sword in a flash, with the blade barely being blocked by a barely drawn katana. Judging by that aura, I can tell that was Richard. "You're on edge again." He said.
Sakuya then sheathes her sword. She doesn't say anything and remain silent. But despite that Richard pours her a hot drink. "Even if you were well versed with a sword at your last life, it didn't suit you in either the past or present." He said.
Sakuya gave a smirk. "And why is that?" She asked. "You cared too much. Even if you try to hide it." Richard answered.
Sakuya looked at her cup. The guildmaster was swirling in thought as she gave a sigh. "Was it obvious?" She asked. "It's easy to see why Hijikata was your sword. It was always at his best that the man can cut through even steel." Richard replied.
"Yet here I am...trying to get a hold of him. Strange, isn't it?"
"And here I'm wondering how can you keep a sword that keeps on falling apart."
There Sakuya remained silent. She was just given her drink yet and it was getting cold fast. Her grip tightens as she prepared something to say. "Back at the time Rin always acted alone whenever he had to be a Slayer." She says, "He could be a bit antisocial, quiet, and reserved. Yet once we got to know him more...all we could do was support him."
"It sounds as if he was incredibly reliable." Richard said.
"Well his magic was scary to the point you couldn't feel scared...but when he uses his spells, you can tell you are in safe hands." Sakuya replied.
"So he was an anti-hero...did he have fangs too? "Richard joked.
"No...Yet even if I saw him for what he was...people still hated him." Sakuya answered.
"'Hated him'? What's that supposed to mean...?" He questioned.
"He made the most difficult decisions even if people would hate him for doing what was right." Sakuya replied.
"Oi...isn't that the way of tyrants?" The man questioned.
"He never chose that route...he chose the way of a scapegoat."
"Scapegoat...? You can't be serious...."
"He chose to be hated so everybody else can be happy."
"Rin was like that?"
"He would say, 'Even if I were to become the devil, at least people would know there would be something to protect them.'"
"Oi oi...isn't that kinda dark?"
But Sakuya paused. She didn't have anything to say. "I asked Lilith the same thing when she wanted me to follow her plan." Sakuya told Richard.
"So this was her plan? To head here?" Richard asked.
"Me and Lilith were reading the future for months before she died and amplified my power so Rin can become Sora again."
"So all this trauma Rin was witnessing was so he can get his memories?"
Sakuya dropped her cup. I can tell she was hurt. Her body was shaking. Slowly she was starting to break down. She was covering her face as she silently wept. "Just like him, I have to become the devil so he can become better...yet it's so hard to do it without feeling his pain..." She says in a sorrowful tone, "I yearn to hold him yet I have to push more so he can become better... but with every push hurts me even more."
"Sakuya you can't keep doing this...you'll break!" Richard scolded her.
"What the hell am I supposed to do, huh?! We need him!" She shouted.
"Oh yeah?! Who do really need?! Rin to save the world or Sora to be your requited love again?!"
Sakuya then starts to hit Richard him randomly. Richard then dodges the hits one by one. He then reads the pattern and stops her by getting her by the shoulders. "You have no idea how long I have waited for him!" She spouts out in Japanese in spite, "In all the darkness he was my light! I don't want him to go away again!"
"Then stop!" He shouted in the same language.
"I can't!"
"Then are you willing to be the devil again?!"
"Even if it breaks me I just want him back!"
Sakuya then kneels at the ground, crying her guts out. She couldn't bear it. Her pain can be felt going through me. I didn't know what I should feel. My chest started to tighten.
"We can become devils if we want to but maybe another time." Richard said.
"What are you trying to say?" Sakuya questioned.
"I'm saying we should try again another time in different terms."
"How then?"
"I can get a few of our special members to take care of Rin. Some specialize in this kind of things."
Sakuya the grips Richard at the shoulder. "But he needs us..." She mumbled.
"I think you just need him. Not as the Hero of Lost Souls but as Sora. We need him to get better but we can't help him." Richard told her.
She then sighs in grief. It made her go into deep thought. But she soon sees his point. "We'll talk about this at the morning. We might share those to the other group as well."
A memory reveals itself. It was past a year and i was with a younger Sakuya. I was at the forest at the time, picking up some herbs with her. "I still don't get why do we need to go this far just to get them when we can just order them." She said.
"It's more effective to get these out in the wild rather than order them. The effects lessen the more the get preserved." I told her.
"You just want to get wild boar to cook."
"That and the parts too."
"YOu know the clan doesn't condone the use of animal parts in spells...that's close necromancy."
"I'm an external member so that makes me an outsider...making my activities not their business."
"Yet the elders will hate you for taking life for personal purposes. Especially the shinto ones."
"Yet they still call for my help whenever they want me to take out one of their problems."
"Do you always have to answer back to everything?"
"Only if I can answer it."
After treking a little. we went up and down mountains to find a spot to harvest some herbs. "Isn't that wolfsbane? That's not part of the list, isn't it?" She questioned.
"Well...it's part of my list. Sometimes my opponents need to be taken down by underhanded means just to take down the target. Especially witches and possessed." I replied.
"So you use poison...? Don't you have purification spells and holy water?"
"Sometimes the souls are fully merged with the demon possessing them to the point that there isn't any soul of the host left. With that I need to end them quickly."
"But you cannot kill a demon with poison."
"But it can slow it down. A body cannot move if its limbs don't work."
"Then what will happen if you get cursed? Are you willing to accept the consequences?"
"Even if I become the devil himself then I'll take it as long as everybody is safe."
Sakuya then stops at her hand. She stares at me with concern. I can sense the sadness from her. But I divert my gaze elsewhere and keep on picking. "Do you think of yourself that low?" She questioned. I sigh and kept on doing my work. "We all have the same value...the value of an individual is only varies depending on a person's stare." I told her.
I then stand up and continue on the path. But as we walk I was tugged behind by my shirt. Sakuya stops me at my tracks. There she says, "Quit looking at yourself at the mirror that way...people see others differently and they're all different."
Yet here I am in the present in this situation. This grown woman cries like a child as her eyes sees something else. My heart feels pain the more I see her moan. I still grown confused but I want her to be my side. Deep down I didn't want her to feel hurt. I was starting to see her as the little potion girl that comes with me when I'm alone. Yet I was missing something. What was it?
I was pulling my hair in a depressed rage. My blood was boiling but my body felt so cold. My breath became heavy and deep. My body was becoming out of control as my form between my demonic and human form alternate between each other. What is this feeling? It felt I was screaming in terror as I was being pinned down, being torn apart by some beast above me. Make it stop!
Furukizu then appears in front of me in the white room. He sits in front of me with my scribe. It was full of information and writings, all complete. "You know I see a lot of things here." He says, "But then again I am you so it's given that I know a lot of you already."
"You are me....?" I asked confused.
"I am you what you chose to forgot."
"So if you know about me so much why don't you tell me everything?"
"As if...you're overwhelmed just by the sound of your real name. What makes you think you would be capable in dealing with all the memories that you have been hiding in your mind? Just at the important parts you snap anyway"
I then snatch the scribe from Furukizu. But the moment I grabbed it, the letters were disappearing and scribbling away. Page by page the words were fading away. The pages were unlimited but the words kept on disappearing. What was happening? I then throw the book in anger.
But the moment it lands, the book fades and reappears in Furukizu's hand. He then looks at the pages and reads further. "At least tell me what am I to Sakuya! Why do I matter to her so much?!" I demanded.
"Find that out yourself! I can't just give you hints like candy, you know!" He shouted back at me.
"I need to know!"
"For what?! What are you going to with that information, huh?!"
"I became the problem and I need to find what that is!"
"Really?! The more she sees you the more hurt she gets! You ain't doing shit, asshole!"
"Then what the hell am I supposed to do?!"
"Then why do you care about them getting hurt?! Don't you see they're at this situation because of you!"
That really affected me real good. Hearing those words struck a chord. There I faded away from the white room. Yet it was there that I found something in front of me. It was that same white orb that was at the forest when I was passing out. But it soon fades in front of me and disappears. "You can't keep on following without understanding the risks." Furukizu says, "Make your plan and we will discuss about your next move."
I sat there in the tent, feeling lost and abandoned. There was so much in my head as I didn't know what to do. All I could do was think and be calm. Yet why am I pushing myself to be calm? I feel as If I want to rip my freaking face off. There was so much going inside my head.
But it was there a memory came in my head. It was of me and Mr. Williams as he was teaching me how to shoot a rifle with when I was at my pre-teens from a far distance. The target was a kilometer away and my target was a small soup can. I pull the trigger, only to miss. "Easy, Sora." He says, "You have to read the conditions before you take your shot."
"Yet we've been at it for hours and I've still haven't been able to get a shot." I've whined.
"Sniping makes you think in a cool and tactical way from a distance. Besides, one of these days you have to plan for the bigger picture. Sometimes the result may not be to your liking so you can't get angry about it."
"And what if I'm about to lose it."
"Cool down and find another strategy. You'll find one soon enough."
Yet fast forward to Japan and I find myself in the same situation, being frustrated. Again this was a mad witch that had to be killed. However I was frustrated by why I had to kill such person. Yet soon somebody from my clan passes me. "Tch it's that slayer again." one of them says, "Why does he and his dark magic get special status at our grounds? It's humiliating."
"He agreed to take down one of our fallen priest anyway...and one of his past lives is providing for us information to get rid of the corrupted." Another one said.
"Pfft! he's getting paid to do it! He should be lucky to be at these grounds! All he is a sty in our eyes. Corrupting our techniques...he should be at the chopping block."
"Yet he's part of the treaty and aiding in retrieval of our lost techniques."
"Ohh...so he's nothing more than an accessory? Good! A person like that is nothing but an insult to the clan. Get his corruption away from me!"
Hearing in that was such a drag to hear. I loathed their voices. Soon Lilith appeared. "Don't you wanna smack them?" She asked. "There wouldn't be any point. They're part of the main family." I replied.
"But aren't you part of the main family?"
"By blood. Class is another story."
"Oh...right, but you can smack them if you want. You have my full consent."
"There wouldn't be any point so let's just keep a cool head. And besides, I got our target's schedule."
Lilith then looks at me, rather annoyed. "You sound like my dad." She commented.
"Your dad did train me after all." I told her.
"Yet you're so passive about it."
"Well...people need us. Besides, we got a job to do."
I return to the real world out of breath. I gripped my arm as I could still hear Sakuya cry. This task has been going for too long. That memory came at the right time. I went to the origin plain and crossed my legs to meditate. This is really getting out of hand. I need to stay calm. Control myself. I'm need to do something. It's my turn.