Fallen star

Every new year, I got a new age with year old lines on my face. Age was really coping up with me, faster than usual. I could be more happier if it was my family and friends who could have time to love me more than my wrinkly cheeks. I didn't understand why, but people looked at me like a charming young girl moving around for a lover. Sometimes, it felt like that. Young handsome guys were proposing me but I was me, so never happened. I had a small bookshop of my own, where only adults were allowed to hang out with coffees and cakes. They could spend their time, as long as they could with hourly charges, no memberships, no borrowings, only reading their desired books. For me it was enough. Single, lonely, mid age woman who was not interested in love, trying to survive with a small book shop was quite alarming caraway story on my neighbourhood, but I loved the way they representing me. It was then, when I met him. Friend of mine made the arrangement online. He was frustrated about the rumours, people were loving to share about me for their own benefits. That's why, he was out of sympathetic spiritual realism, he introduced me with him. At first, my virgin love had no idea what was going on, we were just chatted like a sneak peek. No one had enough time to give each other more than an hour. Both working like a dog, too experienced adults were trying first time love, at the end of time, both of us were lost interest on love the subject. He was a man with a little interest on woman, no intention to have any interest on their thinking, their career or anything. It was like a physical therapeutic conversations. He was interested more on my physical appearance. I was feeling like a duck in a swan's land. He had a business of his own with little bit mesmerizing airy flute notes. He loved his flute selling business and loved to play it, it was his hobby. He was serious about it and I was showing passionate gestures by asking him to make a band of his own. Afterwards, we were a good at, on hiding the actual facts that both were dissatisfied and disappointed with our lives though we were smiled a lot. I was learning from him, how to become a buddha without being a Buddhist because he was a loner himself for decades and loved to stay like it. He had a small family but all were living on their own. So, like me, his friends were worried about his lonesome future death. He was literally crying when he was sharing about his childhood affairs. He made assurances that he had dated much more aged woman than me, so I had nothing to worry about the age atleast and he was not a virgin flower that needed protection. When we were first time glanced each other, it was like father and daughter watching each other because I was shyly sharing my younger version and he was at his best version. He got probably upset by my ignorance of his feelings. Moreover, I could not made my time for him. I was too busy with my work and social life. After few missed golden opportunities to get a life long lover, he lost his patience and got frustrated over me. He thought I was not interested. So, life happened, he announced to me about his new girlfriend. It was like an earthquake on my side because I was really interested on him. I was sobbing and feeling bad about myself for being emotionally depressed when I lost him completely.