"Eat more, eat more, then you can become the God of Fortune!" Mother Zhang used her chopsticks to put a piece of sliced lotus root into Zhou Tian's bowl.
Zhou Tian did not notice, as he was busy gobbling down the bowl. He was normally not very hungry during the morning, but he was extremely famished today. Meat, vegetables, rice, were all the same to him.
It was only until he had finished the 5th bowl that he had finally sated his hunger. At that moment, the phone that he had stored in his pocket buzzed with a notification.
"You have fully assimilated with the Poop Lizard bloodline. New skill: Poop Expulsion." Zhou Tian could not believe his eyes. He had actually learned an energy skill.
Energy skills were skills that emerged after someone discovered that Goblins could be butchered into energy sacs. These energy sacs contained the Goblins' internal energy and skills, because the Writers needed to provide Zhou Tian with more opportunities to be stronger.
Looking at the clock, Zhou Tian realised that it was time for him to go the Poor Academy. "Mother Zhang, Father Zhang, I will return at 1.30! Remember to prepare food for me!" Zhou Tian then jumped out of the window onto the Super Large Bull.
The Super Large Bull was the poor man's school bus, as it was the most common Goblin to be found within the world. It was domesticated easily, as they just had to put any female in front of it to encourage it. That was why all the Drivers were female.
"Eh? Small Zhang? Wow, you nearly gave me a heart attack! Don't appear so suddenly!" The driver was a young woman who wore spectacles. Her name was Lin Fan, Zhou Tian's barber's daughter.
"No need to be so surprised, Sis Lin! After all, you're so beautiful that anyone would jump onto the Super Strong Bull after seeing you." Lin Fan giggled after hearing Zhou Tian tease her. They had a relatively good relationship between each other, as they were childhood playmates.
"That reminds me. Zhou Tian, you're about to graduate right? Which school are you applying to? The Farmer school or the Construction school?" Lin Fan started to talk to Zhou Tian about his graduation. It was almost the end of the year, and Zhou Tian was 17 already. He would soon go to one of the various schools in the country.
"Do I look like I can only go to those schools?
I plan to become a... Goblin controller!" Zhou Tian's eyes were filled with stars as he thought about his future prospects.
"Goblin controller? Fat luck! Only martial geniuses with an aptitude for Goblins can apply to the Goblin controller school!" Lin Fan exclaimed loudly, before putting her hand over her mouth. Some people in the houses around them stared at them with a fierce expression.
"Shhh... who said I can't be a martial genius?You don't have to be rich and be stuffed with medicinal herbs to become one!" Zhou Tian grinned.
"Forget that I even asked you that question. You're too hard to deal with." Lin Fan threw her hands up dramatically to express her exasperation. She then started to focus on picking up more passengers for the ride, but no one was interested.
Meanwhile, Zhou Tian took out his phone. He clicked on the app, only to be met with a notification, "Pee on the phone to create a new avatar!"
"You got to be ******* (this is a PG13 book) with me!" Zhou Tian screamed out in his heart. Where the hell was he supposed to pee in broad daylight? He would be arrested and thrown into jail faster than he could say, "Pee on the phone."
"Zhou Tian, we're almost at the school. You want to... Is that the latest phone model? Damn! Can I see it?" A string of saliva leaked out of Lin Fan's mouth as she looked at the iPeach phone.
"No way! Errrr... I mean I have some private information on it..." Zhou Tian's eyes wandered around, as Lin Fan got closer. A malicious smile hung on her face.
"Don't worry, I don't care about romantic action movies. It's only natural for a young boy to exercise himself. Just let me see it's beauty!" Zhou Tian had forgotten that Lin Fan was a tech geek. Even though she hailed from a poor background, she lusted after the latest technology devices developed by Atlas Company or Zenobys Corporation.
"No, really, it's just a gaming phone. See?" Zhou Tian had a moment of ingenuity, and simply showed that there were no app stores or anything of that sort. There was only one app.
"What... so it's just an imposter of the iPeach, with such low level technology. Why was I thinking that the poor Zhou Tian would actually manage to afford a real one." Zhou Tian laughed sheepishly, as they reached the school.
Zhou Tian got off the Super Strong Bull and waved goodbye to Lin Fan. The Poor Academy gates were wide open, as a teacher stood there, waiting for more students to arrive.
"Well, I guess I have to do this then." After entering the school, Zhou Tian went to one of the more discreet areas. It was a hiding spot that he had found himself for gaming on his phone. Dropping his pants, he forced himself to give the phone a healthy layer of pee.
"Ugh..." Zhou Tian could feel his stomach revolting as he committed this immoral act. After finishing, he zipped up his pants and grabbed the phone. No liquid was left unabsorbed.
"A new dungeon is nearby. There is a compass on the upper right corner of the phone to lead you there." Zhou Tian widened his eyes in surprise. The dungeons could also be found in real life?
The dungeon compass pointed to directly behind Zhou Tian. As he followed the directions, he soon bumped into a blue container.
"Hey! Stop banging into the door! I'm doing my big business here!" The hoarse voice of a chainsmoker came out from the blue container. As Zhou Tian looked at what he bumped into, he realised that the phone was buzzing non-stop.
"Take out your phone, and use the camera function. Find the poop symbol." It was a porta-potty, which was quite limited in size. Soon enough, he saw a small poop symbol covered in flies, which he used the phone to take a photo of.
"Initiate, Teacher Lounge Remains Dungeon." Zhou Tian felt like that name was quite... unique. The phone certainly had a special taste of its own.