When we got back home, I followed our normal schedule Prepare dinner, bathe, go to bed after cleaning up the place. I was exhausted from all of the walking in town and running out of the way of a horse carriage that nearly trampled me. That was mentally draining.
Mrs. Yuri thanked Peter and I for getting the stuff on the list. Peter who was also exhausted headed straight to his room. I can hear the exact moment he plopped into his bed. I sat down on my own bed and let my body fall down on the soft cotton sheets. I thought about my new life here and as i was lost in thought I drifted off into a deep sleep.
" Mother...Mom...Dad...Please don't leave me...
YUKI!! Don't ever stop .... keep running (mother dies)
Mother!?! NOOOO!!!!"
"Yuki!! ...Yuki!!...Wake up." I dash to wake in a panic. Cold sweat running down my spine. "What... what's going on. where am I?" "Your fine, remember your here with us. It's me Peter. You started screaming in your sleep. You, ok?" I stare at him for a moment and clung to him as if he was the only person, I felt safe with. "I'm sorry... it was just a nightmare." I could hardly say this due to my shuddering and the tears running down my cheeks. He looked at me with such a worry-full expression. "Does this happen a lot and would you like to talk about it? If not, I understand." It's so hard for me to breath, but if I don't say something he will start to get curious and start asking questions. I must say something. I'll tell him part of the truth. I can't tell him everything, he wouldn't understand. "I... had a nightmare or a memory you can say...of the time...I lost my family. I'm sorry. Last time I left out most of the details because it's simply too painful for me." We stared at each other in painful silence. He breaks the dreadful silence, "I see... so there's more to it that meets the eye huh." He can't know everything... at least not yet. "Well... yeah... I don't want people to know every detail on how I lost my family you know. " His face softened and tensed up again. "Yeah, those are such harsh memories. I understand if you don't want to talk about it. You can open up to me on your own time... when your ready of course. " I smile at him, "thanks.. that means a lot that you care. " He returned a warm smile to me and embraced me in his strong arms. It feels so comforting. I feel so safe and at peace. We separated slightly as he looks at me sincerely. "Would you be ok by yourself? Would you like me to stay with you?" His suggestion touches and warms my heart. "No, I'll be fine. I don't want to burden you with this, but thank you for the thought. Besides, I wouldn't want to make you sleep on the ground because of me. Especially when you have a warm bed in your room. " Aww... poor Peter, when I said this he sucked down as if he was pouting. He was so adorable. "Ok , I'll be in my room if you need anything come straight to me even if it's something little. " I smiled generously at him. "Thank you for everything. " I layed back down and watched his long, strong back as he vanished into the darkness of my room and into the hallway. I listened to his footsteps fade off behind my closed door. I look a deep breath and sighed out and starred off into my window into the vast sky full of wonderous twinkling lights. Soon I drifted to sleep once again. I fall into deep slumber once again and dream of another sour memory. A girl hiding in the brush gazing out from behind the bushes in horror... Her eyes glowing red as she hears a chilling voice scream out "Yuki hide", and the girl crying to herself " mother where are you? Don't leave me... Please come back! " Still unable to move with a false hope that my mother will come back to me.
I wake up in a cold sweat unable to fall asleep again. The nightmares will just keep persisting. My head is spinning like a top and my heart hurts. Why can't I just forget? Why won't these memories ever go away and stop haunting me. I don't want to remember it. That horrible night changed my life forever. "Please make it stop. Make it go away... please. " I can't stay still so I gaze to my window and persist to walk closer to it and sit upon the windowsill. "What a beautiful night. "
I remember when I use to cry after I had a nightmare and my mother would carry me to my window and tell me to look outside. She would say ,"Hey it's alright.. it's over now, you know... it's such a beautiful night. Look up and see the sparkling stars. " This memory made me smile, but only for a moment. "But my nightmare is never over now. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. You would still be here with me if only I had been strong enough. " I burst into tears. Drops of water stain my face and sting as they flowed down my cheeks. The sound of my door gently knocking causes me to jump. I know that it is Peter coming to check up on me. "Hey Yuki, my mom wanted me to give this to you. It's a new dress that she got you to wear while working in the tavern. " I timidly open the door slightly and hold my composure the best I could. "Ah.. thank you... tell Mrs. Yuri I said thank you... I'll thank her myself tomorrow morning. " As I tried to hurrily close the door Peter stops me. "Wait... have you been crying... I'm sorry, please tell me what's the matter. " I look deep into his charming eyes and saw that he was truly worried about me. He cared about me. That's a first, "why do you care so much? Why do you look so worried about me? " His face turned a bright red by my sudden questions, but he fixed his eyes back on me. "Why do you feel like your any less from any other person? I care because you are just like everyone else. You have emotions and feelings. You care and put others before yourself. " I am shocked and completely caught by surprise by his attack. I spoke under my breath, "because I'm not like everybody else. " Peter looks at me in confusion, "what did you say? " "Oh, I didn't say anything. It's nothing. " Peter let out a frustrated sigh, "look whatever you are going through. Whatever is on your mind you can talk to me. I'm here for you. " I look at him with such sad eyes, "I'm sorry... I can't... not this. " He looks a bit hurt by this. "Oh it's fine, you can't expect me to help you if you don't open up to me. You need to stop shutting yourself out. You cake here for a new life, a fresh start right, but you will get nowhere with an attitude like that. " Withought another word he stormed off into his room and slammed the door shut. He looked so angry and hurt. I don't want to hurt him but that is why I can't tell him all about me. He will only get hurt if he knows more of me. That's why it is best for him to stay in the dark about my past. Peter i wish you knew that me doing this is protecting you. You just don't know it yet.