Dying Star Arc
15th May
Kyle Matthews told me and Sayyad his story. The story of how he came to Ceres, and everything that's happened since then, and why he did what he did. The foolish story of a foolish man.
The two of us stayed silent for the entire duration of Kyle's tale. The story of his life. The long sad story of a foolish man's life. Listening to him, all that I can think is that he's bemoaning his own failures. He did this to himself, and yet he blames my father, and now me. What he says, is unbelievable. It's illogical. It's nonsensical. He is simply a sad and broken man. Yet, he doesn't realise that himself. And so, he blames my father instead. I don't know if my father did all that Kyle claims he did, I was just a child then after all, but if I had to choose between the two who to believe, I would believe my father. I don't believe he would do what he said about Jakarta. If he was put in that situation, I'm sure father would only use something like that as a threat. He wouldn't actually go through with it. Kyle Matthews has told me all I wanted to hear. There's nothing else he can tell me. He's put out everything for us to hear, and now he's done. This is the end of the road. The end of the journey, as he put it.
"The right thing… what foolishness. I have to doubt whether there is such a thing. Everyone claims righteousness for whatever cause they believe in. To say you only tried to do the right thing is poor justification, because that's what everyone says. Because otherwise they wouldn't have done it in the first place. All you've done over the last twelve years, clearly, is blame my father and now me for your own failings. I don't see how that can be considered righteous. You're spineless, you're worthless, and you're filth. I don't know what my father ever saw in you. Maybe you were different before, but if he met you as you are now, I doubt he ever would've even talked to you, let alone make you his right-hand man.
However, if he didn't punish you for what you did back then, so be it. I will punish you for what you've done to me. And what you've done to the colony and all the people here. For inciting rebellion, treason, murder, and attempted murder, the only fitting punishment for you is death. If you agree to that, I'll let everyone else, including Garrison Commander Gallagher, serve only light prison sentences on Luna."
Kyle Matthews lowered his head, nodding in acknowledgement of the situation. A wry smile spreads across his face, as he lifts his head back up. Even before he told us his tale, he had accepted that this was the end. That he would meet his end here. It makes me disgusted. He's practically a corpse already. Killing him barely seems like a punishment.
"Then-"
"Wait, Governor."
Sayyad speaks up. I had almost forgotten that he was still here. He hasn't spoken since before Kyle started his story. It shocked me when I spoke, because I really had no idea he was still right there.
"What is it?"
"You shouldn't kill him. There's a better way to go about this."
"Huh?"
Don't kill him? After everything he's done… the stories that he told us, there's no way that he doesn't deserve death. He's tried to kill multiple people, he's committed high treason against the Freehold on multiple occasions, and he even caused the death of Zayd, who just happened to get caught up in all of this. There's no way that he doesn't deserve death. That death isn't the fitting punishment for him here, so what can Sayyad possibly mean?
"He deserves death. There's no way that isn't the case. How can you possibly argue that he doesn't deserve to die? For what he's done… there's nothing else left for him."
"I'm not saying that," Sayyad replied, "you're right, he deserves nothing more than death, that much is correct. But if you kill him, then nothing will change. An eye for an eye. That's all it will be. It won't do anything. It won't help anyone. Wasn't it you that said to me that working together would help us build a better future? That we'll be stronger if we work together? That won't happen if you kill him here."
Sayyad's right. I don't know what I can say to that. When we had first met three days ago, I had thought of him as cowardly and weak, but he seems different now. Or perhaps I was wrong from the start. Maybe I'm the one who's cowardly and weak. He's right, after all. If I kill Kyle here, I'll just be giving into that weakness. I'll be letting my emotions get the best of me. I hadn't even considered anything else. Even before his confession, I came here wanting the result to be Kyle's death.
I'd tried to keep my emotions out of it, but I've been so blind that I couldn't even tell that they were getting to me. I've been such a fool. I didn't really let myself mourn Zayd, at least not properly. I just tried to leave it all behind, but I failed miserably. I'm so pitiful.
"What do you propose we do with him, then?"
"Have him serve among the other convicts coming here," Sayyad replies, "there he will remain a constant example to anyone who tries to stir discontent in the colony. Whether that's between the Palestinians and the foreigners, the soldiers and the citizens, or whatever else. He will remain an example of what happens to those who act in a way that doesn't have the colony's best interests at heart. Those who don't work together despite their differences, to make this a better place."
I don't know if I could've come up with something better, even if I was in a better frame of mind. I don't think I can forgive Kyle Matthews for what he did. I'll never forgive him for it. Zayd had become someone special to me. That I'm certain of. I wouldn't be so distraught right now if he wasn't. Even so, I understand what Sayyad is saying. It isn't just to be a reminder for the future that Kyle should become one of the convicts, but a reminder for me too at this very moment. To do what is in the best interests of the colony, and not just my own selfish intentions. To carry out my responsibility.
I smile and laugh a little to myself, in relief. I look between the two of them, Kyle and Sayyad, both with some look of expectation on their faces, and open my mouth to inform them of my decision.