"Are you a virgin?"
"Ah?" Xia Ling asked dazedly, staring at the albeit handsome but obviously greasy man sitting across from her, who couldn't seem to move his gaze away from her chest.
"Well, my future wife obviously needs to be a virgin. I cannot agree to be with an impure woman." He responded matter of factly.
"Are you a virgin?" Xia Ling asked instead.
"That's different." The man answered. "I'm a man and you're a woman."
This non-answer answered all her questions about this man. What a scummy, disgusting and chauvinistic man! She wanted nothing to do with him. So she took a deep breath, looked him in the eyes and said, "I like women."
"..."
~
"What a scum!" Xiao Fei declared, while sitting across from her.
Xiao Fei was her best friend from her university days. She dressed like a man, talked like a man and acted like a man. For instance, right now.
Fei Fei was leering at her breasts and a little drool slipped out of her mouth as she said, "But I can see why he couldn't look away from those jade rabbits. Can you blame him? They look so juicy and tempting. How are they so big when you're so tiny? Haha I know! Instead of nourishing your brain everything must have gone there instead!" She reached out her hands and grabbed hold of her bunnies.
Alas, right at this moment, the door crashed open and Xia Ling heard her family's old lady screaming as she thundered in. "XIA LING! Just what the hell have you done! I've never lost this much face in my entire life! You worthless-" her voice abruptly cut off as she took in the scene taking place in front of her.
"It's not what it looks like!" Xia Ling said desperately.
~
"..mom-"
"You shut your mouth for me!" Xia mother said as she paced back and forth furiously.
Xia Ling mustered up her courage once again and shakily said, "Mom it's really a misunderstanding! I know Fei Fei dresses and acts like that but you shouldn't be mistaken about her! She was just joking around! Fei Fei is a pure woman who likes men! She just… likes to appreciate the female form.."
"But you like women?! Why are you defending her?! So you actually do like women ah?!" Her mother roared. "Come here! This old lady promises not to beat you to death!"
...Crying without tears. What to do? My mother thinks I'm a lesbian! I'm waiting online for an answer!