such a wonderful night view of the city of zalos.its streets are filled with neon lights, busy shops, loud music and celebrating people.
from where I'm sitting I could see the announcement of the marriage of our federation princess and savoric prince, Igor. the whole nation is celebrating this happy news of the perfect couple.but not me.
how could i.
how could you watch the traitors who used and betrayed you, have a happy ending.
I don't have the right to feel anything, my master said.
after all, I'm a mere shadow, a body double who has no identity of her own.more aptly put, im the body double of the said federation princess.
orphans like me are dime a dozen in this big city.i was lucky when master ian saw the potential in me when I was fighting in the back alley for a stale piece of bread from boys, thrice my age.
even though I was only 5 at that time, I fought like a savage.
Because without that stale bread it was death on the other side.any living creature will fight tooth and nail for its survival and that was what I did.no one will care if they find a child dead in the dark alleys of this big city.instead they will be happy that there is one less rat in this world.we are not even suitable to be called humans.we are the rodents that blemish their almost perfect city.
that's just how harsh the world is.
In later years when I asked my master why he picked me.he just gave his creepy smile and said he saw desperation and spirit in me.i was also the same age as the princess at that time and with how the cosmetic industry developed over the years, it will be a piece of cake to make me look like the princess.
they wanted me to create the perfect image for the royal family and the princess. heh, how could they put their pampered princess to all the hellish military training? as an heir, you have to be perfect in both literary and military training.unfortunately, the princess was born with poor health and need to recuperate for a long time in order for her to live a long healthy life.
so begun my hellish training.
from history to the military, from psychology to economy, etiquette, mannerism, chess, calligraphy,
everything an heir must know, was taught to me. although I relish learning all these things, I didn't even have time to breathe for myself.from the moment I stepped in the palace I have become their puppet, not to have opinions of my own.when they order it, I have to follow it, nothing more and nothing less.
I have become an expressionless icy robot under their rule. but everything changed slowly when I met Prince Igor.
he was all the light and sunny to my icy darkness.he would light up the room with his carefree laughter and kind nature.it both attracted me and repelled me.
when he started to pursue me, i felt elated.i mean, who wouldn't want to be treated as someone special. his flirty intense gaze thrilled me.it felt like, im a human being too, having the right to love someone, to dream of a better future.i stupidly believed all this crap about love and happily indulged in my own fantasy of better future.
but life heh, life always kicks you on the blind side when you least expect it. when Igor found out I'm not the real princess, well he went out to court the real princess as if she was the one he loved all along. the pain, the soul-wrenching suffocating pain that envelopes you when the one you love, looks at you as if you are a worm, will make you die a million times.
when the royal family found out about the connection between me and Igor.i have become a threat to their precious princess marriage. its time to end me.
"I told you to not feel anything, to not to aim above your standards but you were always one break the rules, now look where it got you"
"master"
"master is it wrong to want to live like any other human being. how is it a crime reaching beyond my standard sir"
"it is when you are a mere shadow. you were dead, the moment you entered the palace. you are just a shadow and shadows don't have the life of their own"
"too bad you have got potential, but because of your greed for more, you will have to die."
I didn't see the sword coming.i just felt the pain in my chest.
"don't worry I have added red padlock poison on the sword, you will die quickly. its the princess's gratitude for all the trouble you have been through on her behalf."
"she said she will take control of everything from here on out.you can rest peacefully."
oh, they are going to have a baby by the way.so prince Igor said as a good citizen of the federation and the former lover of his, you should wish them for their happiness."
"goodbye.rest in peace"
I never cried before, because crying doesn't solve the problem. but now I could feel myself shedding angry frustrated tears.
why...why is this happening, I was leaving wasn't i.why couldn't they let me be. why must they do this to me.is wanting to live my life as a fellow human being such a crime.after all that I have done for them, why couldn't they let me live?
please ........please if there is any god out there, heed my request let me live.I beg you..please
as I drew my last breath the cheap jade bracelet I bought for my 25th birthday started to glow brightly and everything grew dark.