It's blurry but I am seeing a woman with short black skirt in her black stalking thighs with knee high boots. She is pulling me towards her, grabbed my tie with one hand and with another holding my neck then slowly and slightly glide to touch my face then lips, put her thumb into my lusty mouth but it's not lustful for her. And then that faceless woman who I am seeing from behind who I can't see her face anyhow, get closer to....to, oh, God, what just happening, I don't know her, who is she or what, I am not in love with her but my inner soulful scream can't be heard by them. My eyes wide open, I am sweating, heat of my rooftop terrace waked me from my dream or should I say inner darkness that I am holding for that long.
Living on an edge of life with sweats and heart breaks, is a normal way of living for people like me. Completed my education as much as I could, haunting like a ghost to the recruiters for a job, have my own rental small place on a terrace. Hot tinned rooftop, stray cats as a hangout friends and a radio to be tuned into, food in a plate when I need to and what else? Hmm, nothing I can think of, this is the minimal level of luxurious life that I can afford to and as a sweet heart like every romance novel, huh, long pose for a sigh to himself... it should stay secret as always. Secret love must be for a inner gearbox to push yourself reluctantly. Is there anyone without it? I don't think so.
June tuner, smoking a cheap cigarettes on his terrace at middle of the night, in his naked toned up body just wearing his old black jeans that he bought five years back from a roadside bazar after paid up from his part time job.
Everyone ask him all the time, is he a singer or musician or both. He always smiled shyly at them like every time to disappoint them to say none, sounds good that's why. But actually it's just a name to feel like a music artist, one of those wannabes you can think of to make happy to the ladies by wearing the name like a musician to listen closely the music in me but strangers shouldn't need to know it.
Hot sweat dreams at midnight, really best way to start a day perhaps, thinking with disturbed irritation with himself, June. Smoking cheapest cigarette under the wide ocean of black and blue sky, sweating like an ocean himself, yeah, life is beautifully designed with peace and peace. No hunger in the stomach, he didn't eat his dinner even. Came from his part time and fell asleep.
What is this sound? where it's coming from? I was looking everywhere but then suddenly it make him stunner. Someone having a very good time on the dark rooftop of my neighbour's house. No one but me, have to experience it, God damn hot and this when I am suffering.
That day too, a very unfavorable woman tried to almost harass me when I was doing my work. She just wanted to grab my private place but managed to poke my bells which was waiting too long for someone doing it for me when suddenly my boss pulled me closer to him, we almost kissed each other luckily I was rescued instead. She couldn't grab me hard but shoved in my inner surface. How rude of her, passing me like that as if I could not understand her language.
I don't know what is in me that can't make me loose me. I was first loved by a woman when I was little, I can still remember her rosey chicks, red blood lips, black laced dress with hot pink heels. It was New year party. We all gathered there for the party. She was way too much drank that day. From the beginning, I had no idea what was going on, she occasionally kissing me like a kid, I was 12 years old then the next month I was going to be 13 but still she was treating me like a kindergarten baby. Later, I stopped being irritated by her kisses, my lips became pink by her lipstick. I didn't count how many times but she did kiss me on my lips lots of time, more than 5 times till the night ends. She was alone and sad that night. No one came with her. She enjoyed her party alone with us. She was a gorgeous woman, I fell in love instantly though didn't expected that she could like me that much to spent entire evening. She never came afterwards, I couldn't find anyone like her, jolly and beautiful. Social butterfly and heart of any party. I think I miss her or why I can't forget her.