Chapter 17 - Chapter 17 - Lovesick

The next day at school I spent in a rather melancholy mood, my mind constantly wondering back to thoughts of Edward. I felt strangely incomplete without him nearby, and I realised how dependent I had gotten on having him near. These days at school, and at night, I almost always had a shield around Edward when he wasn't in my line of sight so that I could feel that he was near. Knowing that he wasn't in school today had a major dampening effect on my mood, which was easily picked up at lunch by the three vampires who hadn't gone on the "hiking" trip.

Alice was the first to say anything, her eyes sparkling humorously as she asked, "So Bella, you seem a little down today, not missing a certain tall, handsome, bronze-haired brother of mine are you?"

"No," I lied quickly. Unfortunately, I could tell from the looks on their faces that they weren't buying my denial one bit.

"Bella, has anyone ever told you that you're a terrible liar?" Jasper asked, causing Alice and Rosalie to snicker.

I glared at him in response. He just laughed. Rose decided that it was her turn to tease me, 'Bella and Edward, sitting in a tree..." she trailed off suggestively, and I couldn't help but envision it. I blushed and all three of them laughed at me.

They kept up their relentless teasing for the rest of the day, and I sighed with relief when I finally got into my truck and escape from the school. I received a text from them not long after saying they were sorry they hadn't told me earlier, but they were going on a family camping trip for the weekend and wouldn't be back until Wednesday. I had to admit that I was a little saddened that I wouldn't be able to see them, but I knew the reason- the weather forecast for the weekend and early next week was sunny, and no doubt they wouldn't want to show off their sparkleliness. While I was disappointed, I was happy to have the weekend to myself and do something peaceful. Being with Alice and Rose was tiring sometimes, although I enjoyed every moment of it.

That night I was surprised when at dinner time when the first words out of Charlie's mouth were, "So have you asked anyone to the spring dance that's coming up?"

My jaw dropped, I honestly hadn't expected him to know about that, and I wasn't sure how he'd take the news that I was actually going with a guy. I found myself desperately hoping that he would approve of Edward. "Um, yes, actually Dad I asked Edward Cullen, and he said yes."

Charlie's mouth opened slightly. "Edward Cullen huh? I didn't know you knew him so well."

At least he wasn't panicking at the idea of me with a guy. "Well I met him through Rose and Alice of course."

He nodded in understanding, "Well the Cullens are great people Bella, and I'm glad you've made such good friends. I suppose if you were going to date anyone I would rather it be someone like Edward- he seems very responsible for his age."

I grinned inwardly at that; If only Charlie knew just how old Edward was. Then I blushed as I registered his words, "Dad, it's not like that." I mumbled, embarrassed. We could both hear the unspoken "yet," in the room.

Thankfully Charlie seemed to realise that I was sufficiently embarrassed, and he changed the subject. "So what are you plans for the weekend Bells? Any plans with the Cullens?"

I shook my head, "No Dad, they're all camping this weekend, so I'm just going to hand around the house, maybe go outside and get some sun, and relax. What about you Dad? Fishing again?"

He grinned at me, "Yep, I've found a new spot to try out."

"Well have fun Dad." I said as I got up and started washing the dishes.

"Will do, Bells." He answered, as he left to go to the lounge and watch some sport.

I had a harder time getting to sleep that night, knowing my favourite vampire wasn't nearby. By the time morning came I was bleary eyed and still tired as I got dressed and had a lonely breakfast, Charlie had already left for the day.

I went shopping first, getting the groceries we'd need for me to cook meals for the two of us for the week. As I passed the library on my way home I made a mental note to go to Seattle in the next few weeks for some books. I knew from my previous visits to Forks that the library was poorly stocked. I hoped to have found a way to incapacitate my truck by then so I could pick out a new car at the same time. I continued to think up different ways to destroy my truck until I got home.

By the time I had unpacked the groceries and put on the first load of laundry it was nearly midday and the sun was shining brightly- a rare occurrence in Forks. I decided that it was the perfect time to go for a walk. I locked up the house and headed out into the backyard, where a trail stared in the back corner. Before heading into the forest I cast my shield around a small boulder that sat at the nearby. This meant that as long as I stayed within 5 miles of home I would never get lost because I could simply "Feel" my way back through my shield- now anchored around the boulder.

I headed out into the forest, the sunshine streaming through in different places, tinted green by the trees. The peacefulness, while relaxing at first, soon brought Edward back to the forefront of my mind and I found myself desperately longing for him to be near.

I stopped after a couple of miles incredibly frustrated with myself for acting so lovesick. Bringing up a shield I threw it angrily at a large tree, causing it to break at the base of the trunk and topple over onto the tree behind it.

My anger faded after that outburst and I levitated myself up into the branches of another tree, about 100 feet up and looked out, enjoying the scenery around me as I calmed down. Soon enough though, I found myself wishing Edward was here to enjoy the view with me. I sighed. I thought hard about my reactions to Edward over the weeks, how his grin made me go weak and how he constantly dazzled me with his eyes.

I was more than a little annoyed that he unknowingly had such a large effect on me, yet I didn't seem to affect him at all. I knew we were mates and I vividly remembered the spark that ran though me when we touched. Thinking about that I realised that in all probability all mates felt like half of them had been ripped away when the other wasn't near. Hopefully that meant that Edward was missing me too.

As I continued to analyse my feelings they all kept leading me back to the same conclusion: I was wholeheartedly in love with Edward Cullen- my vampire mate.

Not long after I came to this conclusion, I realised that the sky had started to darken, so I jumped out of the tree, free falling through the air until I was about 10 feet away from the ground, where I cast a shield out underneath and caught myself- like bouncing on a trampoline.

I headed home, using the shield around the boulder in the backyard to guide me as I had deviated from the path.

After my epiphany I had a relatively quiet weekend, I no longer bothered to squelch my thoughts of Edward- knowing it was useless anyway.

On Sunday night I again woke up with the familiar feeling of being watched, and again found that Edward was nearby. This time though, he wasn't outside my window, he was sitting, frozen, in the rocking chair, I didn't move, or even open my eyes, "Edward," I sighed contentedly, before falling back to sleep, happy that he was back.

EPOV

I arrived back with Emmett late Sunday night. Emmett was a little annoyed at me because I had been brooding throughout our hunting trip. I had missed Bella so much. Not being able to be near her or at least track her through the minds of others like I usually did at school was torture. I knew without a doubt that I was in love with her, and I had tried to avoid her when I had figured it out after saving her from being hit by Tyler's van. However, I had not counted on just how mesmerising Bella was, and after a week of ignoring her I had snapped when Mike asked her to the spring dance. For a moment there I had entertained the thought of breaking Mike's neck.

I had felt unbelievably euphoric when she had asked me to the dance the next day, especially when I found out that I was the one she had been planning to ask all along, in spite of my previously frigid behaviour to her. I had admitted to her that day that I couldn't stay away from her anymore, and I meant it. Bella was now the centre of my universe, and being away from her was unbelievably difficult.

I had taken to watching her sleep at night after her first night at our house, not only did it mean I was closer to her, but I was intrigued by her sleep talking. I couldn't help it when I first heard her sleep talking and sighing my name, so every night after that I spent watching her sleep, insanely happy when she murmured my name. Occasionally she mentioned her mother, and father, and one time she muttered something about beating Felix and Demetri, but I had no idea what she was talking about- I figured it was random nonsense, perhaps some characters from a novel.

When I thought about how she had planned to go hiking on the weekend I nearly rushed back to Forks a day early, but Emmett had put his foot down. He told me that just because I was lovesick it didn't mean I could get out of a hunting trip. In return for me staying he promised not to tell Bella just how madly in love with her I was. I knew she was meant to be my mate, but she didn't even know what kind of dangerous creature I was. Jasper had finally slipped up in his thoughts the day that I saved Bella, and after getting the gist of his thoughts I had turned to Carlisle, who had explained about the electricity I had felt when I touched Bella, and my fascination with her- it was another reason I had tried to stay away. She deserved so much better than me; a monster and for that reason alone I wasn't planning on telling her that she was my mate. I knew she didn't believe I was bad, that was obvious, and while part of me was overjoyed by that, another part wanted her safely away from me. I just didn't know if I could ever bear to part with her.

Sunday night I had happily run over to Bella's house, after enduring some comments from Emmett, being called whipped by Jasper, and having the rest of the family smirk knowingly at me. I was eager to be near her. She had woken just after I settled in the rocking chair, her breath faltering for a minute. She didn't move or open her eyes, just sighed, "Edward," contentedly before going back to sleep. I felt warmth flood through me at her uttering my name; it was like she could sense that I was nearby and was happy about it. I watched her for the rest of the night in adoration; Bella had to be the most amazing creature on the Earth.

I left just before the sun came up, incredibly disappointed that I couldn't go to school with her, and repulsed by my sparkling skin. I arrived home, and changed before sitting down at my piano to pass the time until Bella woke up and left for school.

As I played, I found the song morphing into a melody that had been running through my head for the last couple of days. It was a lullaby, beautiful and sweet, with a hint of power behind it. Bella, of course, had inspired it, her actions continually amazing me.

I hadn't even noticed that Esme and Alice had crept up behind me while I played. They both looked like they would be crying if that was a possibility for vampires. "That was beautiful Edward," Esme said softly, her eyes shining with happiness.

Alice smiled as well, her thoughts in agreement with Esme's. "Bella will be leaving for school in ten minutes," she informed me.

I got up, "Thanks Alice," I said as I left the house. I headed to the school and found a tree in the forest where I could sit on the branches and be in thought hearing range of everyone in the school without being close enough that anyone coming into the forest would see me sparkling.

After what felt like an eternity, but was actually only a few minutes, I heard the chugging of Bella's truck in the distance, and she soon pulled into the parking lot. She was earlier than usual, and there weren't many people there. I watched as she grabbed her jacket and sat on it on one of the outside benches, soaking up the sun. The brightness brought out the beautiful red tones of her mahogany hair and she seemed to be enjoying it.

As she settled she turned and looked into the forest as if she knew I was there- which was impossible for a human, I was well out of range of even a vampire's eyes. She smiled softly before turning and picking up a novel to read- Wuthering Heights. She sat there reading for a while, not noticing how the school was piling up with people until Mike approached her. I let loose and involuntary growl.

"Hi Bella," he said, causing her to jump slightly and put the book down.

She rolled her eyes at him, obviously not liking the fact that he had approached her again. "Hi Mike." She answered shortly.

From his thoughts I could tell that he thought she was happy to be near him. Of course she likes me, who doesn't? I'll bet she only asked Cullen because she felt sorry for him, or his sisters asked her to. I'm positive she'd love to go out with me tonight, and maybe dessert could be at my house... I snarled as his thoughts turned vulgar and images played in his head of Bella naked at his house. "So Bella, how about dinner with me tonight?" he winked confidently at her, obviously forgetting that all his previous attempts to ask her out had failed. I tightened my grip on the branch above my head and sat up.

Through Mike's eyes I watched Bella's eyes narrow. "Mike, I am only going to say this one time, so you'd better listen. I. Do. Not. Like. You, and I never will, so stop asking me out. In fact, don't come near me at all. If you can't do that I will ask Emmett to tattoo my instructions into your face with his fist." By the end she was snarling viciously at him.

He backed away, Damn, she looks scary, if looks could kill I'd probably be six feet under right now, he thought to himself as he mumbled, "Sorry Bella," before walking off as quickly as he could.

I sat back in the tree, letting the branch I had been holding fall to the ground in pieces. I was proud of her, and I had to admit, just a little intimidated by her glare.

I followed her through her classmates for the rest of the day, happy when she made friends with Angela- a very kind girl whose thoughts were always kind. Jessica tried to prise gossip out of Bella again, but Bella continuously brushed her off.

At lunch I listened in interest. Bella was talking to Angela. Always a person who included others, Angela offered, "Bella, would you like to come dress shopping with us tomorrow night?"

I looked on as Bella smiled apologetically, "Sorry Angela, but I already have my dress; Alice deigned it for me." I frowned in confusion; Alice hadn't mentioned anything to me at all. "But I would be happy to go with you and help you pick out yours," Bella offered, seeing Angela's disappointed face.

Angela smiled, "Thanks Bella, that would be wonderful," she said gratefully, "We'll pick you up right after school tomorrow," she offered. Bella smiled back and the conversation changed to another topic.

I continued watching her all day, following her home from school and watching, entranced as she hummed to some of my favourite classical songs and cooked dinner that night. I only went home to change clothes and shower, racing back to watch Bella sleep.

The next day was relatively boring as I yet again stalked Bella through everyone's minds. Eventually school let up, and after seeing Bella safely off to Port Angeles in Jessica's car, I ran back to the house for my Volvo. If Bella was going to Port Angeles, then I was too.