I tried to make myself sleep, since I didn't know where I would next find a safe spot to do so. But I was scared, scared that I would return to that empty darkness, scared that I would forget my mission, my name, everything…
But when I finally did fall asleep, I dreamed. I dreamed of my teammates.
I hadn't dreamed at all during hibernation…
In my dream, we were working, as usual, inside of the base. But when I went to open the door, outside…was green. Grass, trees, flowers blossoming…
It was only a dream, so naturally, I didn't feel any wonder during it. But the wonder I felt when I woke…
I tried to grasp onto any lasting shred of that dream, some of the only memories I would have left…
But memories…they would make me weak. They would make me fail. In my mission to kill [him]. At least, that was what I was told during my training.
And it was that training which was imbedded within me that forced me to let go of dreams, and focus on reality.
The morning light was harsh. I ate a small square of my rations, and took a sip of water, and began walking. I had to conserve this food for the next ten days…
"Darius, talk to me," I said, speaking into the radio transmitter. It was all I could do to focus on walking. I shouldn't be distracted by what I had to do. I could focus on that later.
"Sure," the voice crackled over the video. The boy cleared his throat, then said, "Um…I don't know what to say."
I laughed, quietly, to myself. And then my breath was taken away…"Tell me…what you remember," I panted, struggling over the steep rise. "What you like. Anything. I apologize, it's going to be a very one-sided conversation…"
"It's fine." There was a pause, then he began talking. Quietly, at first, the faster, tumbling out like streams of fresh water into the desert. Sweat rolled down my brow, stinging my eyes, and I wiped it, trying to make sense of my direction.
"I like dogs. We used to have one here in the base…Well, I guess…I've only ever seen dogs and birds. When I was younger I would play often in our city…I don't think there's anyone here anymore, though. I have food, but I don't know about when it's going to run out…but somehow, there's always more." He paused. "Sorry. Happy thoughts. Um…Honestly, you could probably come to my city, or, uh, ghost town, and I would be happy. You can see it a long way off… It's in the region where all those bird cage cities are, have you heard of them? They're surrounded by huge cages, I dunno what for…"
"That sounds…interesting," I said.
"I know, right? But we can't leave…not easily, anyway. I mean, there's no one here anymore, so I expect that, theoretically, I could, but… Forget I asked. No one goes to Shuijing without a reason. And I suspect that you must have a pretty important one. No, don't bother telling me what it is…they sometimes monitor the radio waves, but I doubt that they'll find ours… You doing okay? Just keep walking towards the direction of the rising sun…or on whatever path you're on…unless the wind's erased it. You should be able to see it soon…the sun shines off of the city so it shines just like its name…" He quieted.
"I'm doing…okay." I stopped to catch my breath. Walking over the sand and holding the radio at the same time was hard…but I could do it. Hearing someone's voice…would help me, at any rate. I pulled the strap of the gas mask over my head and took two slow, deep breaths. "Go on."
As I went, Darius began telling me of some of his early experiences in his town, of some memories that he had of his father and grandfather and other members in the base. And through the periods of silence, I thought of my own memories that had happened in the base.
Lonnie Arai. Navi Tanaka. Chev Coda. KG Nakamura. Alix Fujikura. Nol Hiraizumi. Nox Hiraizumi. Seere Yamamoto. My teammates, my friends.
Our base was only one of the many bases scattered around in this vast, wide desert. None of them could hold out forever. Soon, they all died.
I couldn't remember where I had grown up. Some town, far away. Then I was taken and trained to be part of the Sunaarashi unit. Harsh training, strong training…
"Here's how to hold a gun. Here's how to fire a gun. Yes, that's the correct stance, but in a real life situation, you wouldn't have time to take it. In real life, you react. Got it? Take the upper hand. Are you hearing me, 038?" That was what they would say. Voices, voices, voices…
There was only one end goal for all of us: to kill [him].
Everything else, didn't matter. We were only particles being swept away in the wind.
There was the sound of fast steps, and I looked up, out of breath. Was that a…
"Dog!" Charging right at me. Not the kind that people used to have as pets. No, a big, wild, desert one, one that had been starved for days, by the looks of it. Eyes red and fur dirty, foam and spittle dripping at the mouth… Had it been hit with some sort of chemical injection by an android? If so, why didn't it finish it off?
I jumped out of the way, dropping the radio in the sand in the process, trying to draw my pistol, only to slip on the sand and tumble back down the rise. It was too fast for a starved animal, it must have been chemicals… So were the androids nearby? Where? Where?
The dog lunged at me, knocking me back down, fangs at my throat. I brought my hands up around its neck, trying to hold it off… my oxygen mask was knocked off in the process, and I thought I heard the hissing sound of oxygen escaping through a crack…
No matter. My life was at stake right now, and imminent… The trainers, they would scold me for hesitating, for thinking… "A mere second could cost you your life."
"Whoa there, boy," I croaked, trying to wrestle the dog off of me. Its claws scraped my hands, leaving red jagged lines. As long as I didn't get bitten… "Having a bad day now? Me too."
It merely snarled at me and continued to snap at me. Too close, too close… I needed my gun, but holding it off with one hand was not going to be easy. I had to live. I couldn't die here now. I had to kill [him]… So I summoned up what desperate strength I had left and threw the dog off me, several meters away, and then drew my pistol, rising. It still glared at me with those chemically-induced red eyes, panting, struggling to stand…
"Sorry, boy," I said, pointing the pistol at it, blood running down my hand. "I'll end your suffering now."
Bang. Just like that. Life gone in a plume of smoke…
I pocketed my pistol. I still had to save one bullet for [him]…
The scratches on my hand weren't very deep, and the bleeding would soon stop, with or without any aid. And in this dry and coarse desert, it wasn't likely the wounds would get infected, but no matter.
My life was naught as long as I managed to kill [him].
My head spun, and I bent down, picking up my oxygen tank. Who knew how much of this precious gas had already escaped…I would have to hurry if I wanted to make it to Shuijing before I ran out. Where was the radio…it had slipped somewhere over the dunes, into the sand, and I could feel a faint buzzing coming from it. Darius…still talking? But my hands shook, and the radio slipped from my grasp once more. No, I would have to bandage my wounds before I proceeded. And so I forced myself to sit down on the sand and unravel a strip of bandage, trying to tie it around my stiff, broken hands with unsteady fingers. It had been a long time since I had to do this…
And I had to force myself to do this. The people back then would say, "Remember. Your life is only second to your mission. If your life means that [he] will die, then by all means, save it." I told myself that as soon as I got myself wrapped up, I would allow myself to take some oxygen. Just a few more minutes…
As I slipped the mask over my face once again, I wondered just how close were the androids that had turned the dog rabid, and I wondered how long it would be before I met them.
Perhaps they were already standing behind me.