I...I was a bad wife, a useless one. Yes, I never gave anything to Lucian and there was nothing I could give him now either, on top of that because of my selfishness I could cause his death.
Klara was right, I didn't even offer him my body and got angry when he went to someone else. I was indeed selfish. I didn't have the right to be angry when he never got angry with me for not sleeping with him. The only thing I have done so far is being scared or jealous.
What really have I done for him? What great have I done so that I could tell him not to marry someone else because I am good enough? I couldn't say that because I wasn't.
"My lady? Are you alright? You look very pale." The maid who brushed my hair asked.
"I am alright." I said.
"Should I bring dinner? Maybe you are hungry."
"No, I am fine. I'll go to sleep."
