My situation became so shameful that I felt like a clown. People laugh when they see clown and in my case, Stella is sitting in front of me, looking at me steadily and giggling like a kid as if I'm the clown here.
Ironic isn't it?
So far till now our conversation is still going on, regarding the incident that took place last night.
" It also bothered me last night. I mean I only drank one glass of raw whiskey. When my body started to feel hot and sweaty, it was really something that I never felt."
" Where did you went anyway?"
" ... Umm. You see.... I went to a strip club and..... a girl came and she gave me the drink." Boy! It was so awkward for me that I shuttering my words.
" Thank god you came home or else you would ended up getting raped."
" Excuse me? Me? Getting raped?"
I asked her frowning my eye brows with confusion.
" She spiked your drink so that she could have sex with you. That was a trap. If you had gone with her, she would have blackmailed you later or ask you to take the kid's custody." Stella explained it like detective reveals the crime scene one by one.
" Kid's custody? Oh fuck! I didn't used a condom last night!"
" Relax. I have taken the phill."
" Oh! Where did you get that?" I let out a sign of relief knowing that no one is going to born because of my stupid mistake.
" I called my brother to bring one for me."
" Wait! You called your brother? Neil?"
Oh dear lord! Is this situation can get any worse?
" Yes. Besides he's experienced in that so, when you passed out I called my brother. He came last night and gave it to me."
" Did you told him everything?"
Please don't, please don't. I murmured to myself
"No. But he's eagerly waiting to hear from me."
" I see. To tell you the truth, I went there to get myself a hooker but honestly when I was with her I felt like being entangled in thrones. Everything was making me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. So, I left from there." It was right thing to do. I didn't wanted to lie to her, no matter how shameful it was.
" Let's not talk about it anymore. That part went well. We should settle this issue now."
" How can I ? There's so much that I have to say to you. How can you be so calm and act like nothing happened since last week?" I was prepared for worse but since she came in all my mistakes have turned into nothing.
" Ummm. What happened last week?" With a flatten expression Stella replied back.
" We had a fight. I acted so rude with you and I still haven't apologised for it. Meanwhile you forgot all of it? Like seriously?" My voice sounded like yelling but I really wasn't planning on doing that.
" Oh! You mean that day? I didn't mind it at all and honestly it was me who shouldn't have yelled at you. After all you were worried about me." With a half made smile she replied politely.
" Huh? Then why did you ignored me ?"
" Actually I was on my period that's why I lost my cool. Because of these period cramps I get super grumpy so, I thought I should avoid talking with you since I don't wanna say something rude to you." Stella was chuckling while scratching her head.
" So you were not angry with me?"
" No. why would I be?"
" That can't be. That's just... I don't understand." My guilty has cross the level of sanity. It was so unreal to me that I felt like it's all an illusion. I couldn't take it any longer so I grabbed her feet and began to beg for forgiveness.
It was something which I needed to do a long time ago. Since the beginning I was the jerk, I was the nastiest person to her and she was always been the most nicest person I could ever think of.
How can I hurt her?
" Hey..... what are you doing-"
" Please! just let me at least apologise to you. Please! I beg you! Just for once! I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve any of this." Like a madman I continued to beg for forgiveness while holding her feet.
" But why would you even apologise when you haven't done anything bad to me?"
" No. You're wrong. I'm not the good guy here. You're the one who's being extra nice to me." I got up and stood in front Stella. My eyes were fixed on her. You could see the flames of love in my eyes but she was still blind.
" Let me tell you one thing. Listen Stella, you can't just be the compromising one always. There will be times when you have to stick to your own self esteem. You can't just shrug it off. Have more pride in yourself because you worth more than you know." She listen to my words with such amusement.
" I never thought of sticking to my ego. It makes things hard when you let your ego come in between. But no one ever told me this. Theo, I was not hurt by your actions, still you put so much efforts into it. It means a lot to me." I let out a deep sigh hearing her speech.
" You have no idea what I was going through." I chuckled lightly on my ironic remark.
" So, what's your answer ?"
" There's another conference I have to make." I hold her soft petite hands as she sat opposite me, on the edge of my bed. I took a deep breath and the moment of truth came
" I don't think I can become your sex buddy because I have been in love with you since I had broke up with Regina. In fact I think I have started to love you after we came back from our honeymoon."
" What?" Her shock was visible in her reply.
" Yes it's true Stella. I wasn't planning on telling you this but after what happened yesterday I had no other choice."
" I just don't know what to say. I mean I used to feel bad that Regina broke up with you because of me-" I cut into her speech.
" Why would you think that?"
" Please don't be mad okay? You see, Regina told me how you didn't spend time with her. You were avoiding having sex with her and we kinda thought you're gay and you were into John-"
" Wait what?!"
" Yeah. And now it's even more sad since you broke up with her because of me."
" No, wait. I mean what? Seriously? John? How can you guys think of it? He's my secretary besides I never been interested in men." I literally yelled at her.
How can she even think that I'm gay!?
~ to be continued