Sometimes I feel like, I'm not living my life like I really should. This conception often worries me.
I see those people on streets, enjoying their time with their loved ones, I see my staff members drinking together after their work, I see those couples holding hand, chatting-laughing, being happy.
All these things makes me feel anxious. I have become something that has no humanity left, as if I'm a robot. Other than my work I really don't have a suitable social life. That's the reason I'm also not good with my relationships.
I can't recall the time when I became like this. Others may think I'm self-centred, arrogant, strict person but that's so true.
Being a workaholic, it's hard to think of some things else other than my work. I've become an introvert person without my knowledge. This is how I ended up cutting myself off from others. I'm afraid that if this goes on I'll never be able to fully understand the true meaning of life.
Waking up from my slumber, my eyes gazed upon her.
" Good morning." She greeted me in a sleepy voice looking at my face.
" You should go back to sleep. We are not going anywhere." I replied and got up from the bed.
Stella went back to her unfinished sleep. Unlike her I need to short out the files and projects which were sent by John. Taking a break isn't a issue but I don't like delaying my work. The cold water helped me to restart my body system. Adding up to that,a hot cup of coffee just opened up my senses. I turned on my laptop. My phone started to ring, it was my mom.
" How's everything going there? You are not sticking up to your laptop, right?" My mom's assumption was indeed correct but I wasn't bold enough to tell her the truth
" Jeez.. mom. Every thing is fine, don't worry about it." I replied her, trying to avoid her inquiry.
" How's Stella?"
" She's still sleeping-"
" Did you guys had a rough night?" Mom asked in a cunning way. I can't even explain how dirty it sounded.
" What the hell!? No.... why would you think that."
" Hey I was just asking okay, and even if you do it's not like you're doing a crime or anything." I tried to hide my anger and embarrassment as much I can.
Thank god! Stella is still asleep or else she would feel uncomfortable hearing this.
" Seriously mom I don't like it when you ask me these types of questions. Especially when I'm with Stella."
" Oh don't get so worked up with this. Stella is way too free minded than you. She never gets angry when I joke with her."
Dear lord. My mom probably mentally tortured her a lot with her crappy jokes. I was unaware of the fact. I really wanted to help her.
" Mom please don't do that okay. She might feel awkward about it."
" Shut up you stupid brat! Don't teach your mom how to be your mom! I have been talking with her all these time and you're saying that she's uncomfortable around me? Even if she was, she would have told it to me long time ago. Just wait I'm gonna unfriend you on my Facebook."
" Wait what."
" Don't even try to send me a request you moron." She hung up after yelling on phone. My ears are still buzzing with her screaming.
" Who was that ?" Stella asked as she got up from the bed, sitting on the edge.
" My mom."
" Why do you sound upset? Did something happen?"
" Not much. She's gonna unfriend me on Facebook." I kept my phone on the table.
" That reminds me I have to send yesterday's pics to your mom."
"How often you talk with my mom ?"
" Everyday. Sometimes I just send emojis but that also counts right?"
" Yes.... it does." I don't even send her a text in a week or more. No wonder she was so cranky today.
Stella went to the bathroom. I called in the room service for our breakfast. Looking through my files, The York company popped up. It's the company owned by Regina's father which is currently being looked after by Regina. As soon I saw it, a cloud of dark terror barged in to my head.
I had totally forgotten about about Regina. I wanted to inform her regarding the trip planned by my mom. Well it's not too late. Grabbing my phone from the table I dial her number.
" Hey."
" How's it going in German?"
" It's fine. My job is almost over, I'll be coming back soon. When will you guys return?" I was surprised to hear that from her. At the moment I knew I'm in trouble.
" How did you know that?"
" Oh come on Theo. I know you are busy but at least you could have texted me. Stella told me about it, in fact I chat with her on daily basis so I'm quite updated about your whole trip to Italy."
" What? You too? First my mom now you."
" Who could blame her?! Isn't this obvious? It's been four days and you decided to inform me today? Thanks to Stella I got to know it beforehand." Regina was annoyed, yet I could feel the rage an anger in her voice. I was indeed at a fault.
" I'm sorry. I just... I was gonna tell you.. I came on a trip with some other girl and I'm sharing room with her, I know It's my fault. It was my responsibility to talk it out with you."
" Don't worry I already got over this whole thing. And as long you're with her I'm not worried about anything."
" You trust her that much?"
" Of course. She's more reliable than you. All you know is work work and work. She even got me a souvenir."
" I was gonna get one-"
" Don't even bother. You would end up buying something expensive."
" But you like them. Remember the diamond necklace I gifted you on your birthday?"
" I like it but it's not the same thing. I gotta go now, I'll talk to you later." Her voice sounded dull and gloomy.
" Bye" I hung up the phone. This time I was more frustrated than before. I was frustrated at myself. I sunk down with despair, sitting on the chair, holding my hand on the head.
The bathroom door opened and Stella came in. My eyes were looking down on the keyboard.
" Hey, you okay?" The footsteps of her were muted. So I didn't realise she walked toward me.
" It's nothing. The breakfast will be here soon. You go dry your hair." She took the sit next me, fixing her eyes at me. Her lips were pressed together with a worried face. Water was still dripping from the tips of the hair.
" Tell me what's wrong." She was serious about this. I can feel the concern in her eyes. At that moment I wanted to scream or yell at someone, tell them my problems.
" Do you think I'm a bad person? "
" No."
" Then why am I suffering so much?"
" No one is happy in this world. Some show it, some doesn't. Some have more problems, some have less problems. Each person have their own. But if anyone of them gives up, life will also turn it's back from them. Only you can help yourself."
" I don't know how can I do that. I'm lost I just don't know how to go back to my previous self."
" Why don't you start by telling me your problems. I'm no expert but I promise you, I'll give my 100% to solve it."
The day just started but I'm sure after today my life will kick start again. I am willing to change for the better tomorrow.
~ to be continued