Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker and the other was a homosexual.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."
The men left the doctor's office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.
While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself.
His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
His companions, somewhat shaken, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words.
As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."
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What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?
TALK
What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?
LEGS
What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
500 BUCKS NOTE
What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?
FOLK
What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
ALMOND JOY CANDY BAR
What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Hello...think cleaner I swear this is not dirty...!!!
SURNAME
What is the similarity between a christmastree & a priest?
Their balls are 4 decoration
Why is the dick called a gentleman in England?
It stands up when a lady passes by.
Why is the dick called a thief in Baghdad?
It enters through the back door.
Why are the sex organs of an elephant in his feet?
Because if he steps on you, you are royally fucked.
Why did Mahtama Gandhi never wore an underwear?
He beleived in freedom movement?
Why India has never had a female President?
What would you call her - Rashtra(patni)?
What is the difference between a girl in a bathroom and a girl in a church?
The girl in the church has her soul full of hope and the girl in the bathroom has her hole full of soap.
What is the similarity between a girl and an oven?
You heat them before use.
Define a girl in cricket language?
No cover, No extra cover, a deep gully between two fine legs.
Define a Bra?
It's a holder for boulder under the shoulder.
Define Bra?
A modern device used for the upliftment of the downfallen ones.
What do you call a parsi test tube baby ?
Battliboi
What do you call prostitutes in Pakistan ?
La-whore
Thought for the day :
Never marry a phone operator, she will say three minutes over"
never marry a nurse, she will say I have to attend others"
marry a teacher only, she will say repeat it again.