A Bet
A slimy fellow proposed a one dollar bar bet to this drop dead sexy girl.
Despite her dress being buttoned to the neck, the bet was that he should touch her breasts without touching her clothes. Since this didn't seem remotely possible, the girl accepted the bet.
The guy stepped up, cupped his hands around her breasts and squeezed firmly.
With a baffled look, she said, "Hey, you touched my clothes" to that the guy replies "Okay. I owe you a dollar."
-----------
Wife goes to a doc and asks crys out for help."doc, doc..my husband is 300% impotent"
Doc says" I dont understand 300%?"
Wife says "u know about the first 100%, now he!s gone and cut his finger and burnt his tongue!
-----------
Up Or Down
At the senior citizens luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.
The gentleman picked the lady up and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.
They were riding along, when they came upon a fork in the river and the gentleman asked, "Do you want to go up or down?"
All of a sudden, the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat.
When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.
They fished for a while and then continued riding along, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.
He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
There she went again, stripping off her clothes to make wild, passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the old gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.
She said yes, and so there they were the next day riding in the boat, when they came upon the fork in the river.
The gentleman asked, "Well, do you want to go up or down?"
The woman replied, "Down."
A little puzzled, the gentleman drove the boat down the river, when he came upon another fork.
He asked the lady, "Do you want to go up or down?"
She replied, "Up."
This really confused the gentleman, so he asked "What's the deal?
Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down, you made passionate love to me. Now today, nothing."
She replied, "Well, yesterday I didn't have my hearing aid in, and I thought you were saying, 'Fuck or drown!'