An Indian walked into the saloon. He was a giant of a man with a six-shooter pistol tucked into his belt, so no one dared ask why he was carrying a pail of manure in one hand and a small cat in the other.
"I'll have a whiskey," he told the bartender, and after downing the shot, then he ordered another. Then another.
Finally, after his fourth drink, the Indian pulled out his revolver, fired several shots into the bucket, released the cat, then ran after it.
When he caught it, he returned to the bar.
"E-excuse me," said the alarmed bartender, serving him a drink on the house, "but would you mind telling me what that was all about?"
"My father told me to try and be more like white man," he answered. "So, I came here to have a few drinks, shoot the shit, and chase a little pussy."
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Indian Sun Dial
There was once this cowboy, riding through the wild west. One day, off in the distance, he sees a small cloud of dust. So he rides his horse up to it, and finds its an Indian laying on the ground with his chop sticking out of his pants! The cowboy gets off his horse and asks, "What are you doing?", to which the Indian replies, "Me tell time! Penis acts as sundial." The cowboy in disbelief says, "Ok, what time is it?" The Indian looks down at it and says "3:35..." "That's amazing, your right!" the cowboy says in amazement. So he hops onto his horse and keeps going.
Riding along further, he sees the same thing, gets off his horse, and thinking the last Indian was a fluke, asks this one the time. The Indian looks down at his "one eyed bandit" and says "4:40". The cowboy is stunned, the time was right again! Shaking his head he hops back onto his horse and rides again.
After riding a while again, he sees yet another Indian on the ground with his "bald headed champ" except he was jerking off. The cowboy hops off his horse and says, "And what are you doing?" to which the Indian replies, "Me winding clock."