Hillary's Gift
Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift. "I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," he says eyeing the attractive
salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."
"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours." "Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl inquired, as she wrapped the gloves.
"Now that you mention it," Bill replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."
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How much Salary!
Bill Clinton was interviewing some candidates for personal secretary.
Monica Lewinski also comes there for the interview, the moment she enters Bill's eyes roll about her, he asks her a few question, and later ask's her how much would she like her salary per month.
Monica Lewinski replies $10,000 per month.
Bill say "No, Problem with Pleasure!"
To that Monica replies "with Pleasure 20,000 dollars Sir!"
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Me and my Sex!
I have a dog his name is "Sex" I don't know what got over me, when I named him but that's what I call him.
He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old."
He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said,"Funny--I have the same problem."
One day I entered Sex in a dog contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV."
"Now that is all over cable."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married."
The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.
He said, "Me, too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.