Rubber
A man, his wife, and their eight children were waiting at a bus stop. Not long after, a blind man joins the group.
The bus arrives. The blind man and the husband are forced to walk because there's just no more room on the bus.
As they walk together, the tapping of the blind man's cane starts to irritate the other man.
Finally, the man says, "You know, that's pretty irritating. Why don't you put a rubber on the end of that stick?"
The blind man retorts: "If you'd put a rubber on the end of *your* stick, we'd both be on that bus."
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Safe Sex
Q: Whats the most important question you have to ask if you want to have safe sex?
A: "What time will your husband get home?"
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Triplets? Resolve
There were three babies in a woman's womb,and they were discussing what they would like to be when they were out in the world and grown up.
The first one said "I wanna be a plumber." The others laughed at this, and asked why he wanted be be a plumber.
He replied, "So I can fix the pipes in here, it's kinda leaky."
The second one said "I wanna be an electrician." The others thought this was kind of silly too and asked why. The second baby answered, "so I can get some lights in here, its dark!"
The third one said, "I wanna be a boxer." The others thought this was hilarious, and laughed for a full five minutes, before asking, "Why in God's name do you want to be a boxer?"
He replied, "So," he said proudly, "I can beat the hell out of that bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us.