As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, 'What in the world are you doing?'
The daughter replied, 'Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'
The next day the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. He too was shocked and asked as to what she was doing.
The daughter said, 'Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'
A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the family room.
She nervously looked in and observed her husband sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked, 'What the hell are you doing?'
The husband replied, 'I'm watching the ball game with my son-in-law!'
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Girls reaction to penis sizes:
# 9'' - oh shit pain!
# 7'' - oh yes, yum!
# 6'' - oh perfect!
# 5'' - mmm ok!
# 4'' - push more!
# 3'' - is it in?
# 2'' - idiot! Just use your tongue.