A lady asked her husband to take their young son out for the day, so he did.
He decided to take him to the zoo first, On the way there they saw a plane taking off, the boy asked his Dad what it was, The Dad said "thats take off"
When they got to the zoo they saw a zebra, the boy asked his Dad what it was, The Dad said "thats a zebra"
After they'd finished in the zoo he took his son to the park, While at the park they saw a lady with a baby in a pram, the boy asked his Dad what it was, The Dad said "thats a baby"
When they got back home the mum asked her son if he had learned anything while he was out..
The boy said Yes "take off ze bra, baby!"
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The church wanted to know that the monks will be loyal before they can join so he tied a bell to each of the monks cocks and got a stripper in.
One of the monks bells rung so the priest said he couldnt join.
The monk bent over to beg to the priest but as he bent over his arse was showing, all of a sudden all the other bells began to ring.
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Sex with a Ghost
A professor at the University of Limerick is giving a lecture to the fresher year students on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, in one of the biggest lecture halls on the campus, he asks: 'How many people here believe in ghosts?' About 90 students raise their hands.
'Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?'
About 40 students raise their hands.
'That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously.
Now, has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?' 15 students raise their hands.
'That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?' 3 students raise their hands.
'That's fantastic. But let me ask you one further question... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?' At this, one student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, 'Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost... You've simply got to come up here and tell us about your experience.'
The student, who happens to be a local lad from Abbyfeale, replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. As he ambles slowly toward the podium the professor says, 'Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost.'
The student replies, 'Ghost?!? Shiiiiit... From way back there I thought you said 'goats.'