The eight qualities of a perfect husband
Brave
Intelligent
Gentle
Polite
Energetic
Nutty
Industrious
Sensitive
And if all else fails, well ... read the CAPITAL LETTERS only...
-----------------
Divorce Couple
A newly wed couple went to their lawyer to get themselves a divorce..
The lawyer wondered dat why do they want a divorce wen they are both good looking & newly wed... So he took both of them in2 seperate rooms & asked them the reason for the divorce...
1st with the man..
"I wanted this () ...atleast this ( ) .. but wat is this ( *** ) ..!!!"
...then with the woman..
"I wanted this =========> ...atleast this =====> ...but wat is this ==> ..!!"
-----------------
Pet Squirrel !!
A couple bought themselves a squirrel pet. One night they went out for dinner and locked the squirrel in the closet.
Later that night a thief broke into their house. The thief was in the process of stealing the couple's valuables when he heard the couple's car arriving home. The thief then immediately hid in the closet. The owners came into the house, and went straight to bed.
But in the middle of the night they were awoken by a scream. The husband opened the closet to see the thief squirming on the floor. The husband immediately bound the thief tightly with some rope and asked what made him holler so loud...
The thief replied in pain, "When your ****ing squirrel took my ass for a hollow in a tree -I held out then it took my balls for nuts I gritted my teeth, but when it decided to carry the nuts into the hollow I cracked up."